The Taming of the Stubborn Inuyoukai
by Blade Redwind
Summary: Her grandfather had a habit of giving her unusual presents for her birthday, any holiday really. But a fude brush? At least it was better than mummified cat she got last year. Who knew using said fude brush would find her in possession of one inuyoukai lord; one who'd been cursed by his own mother to serve others until he learned duty and humility. [Post series end.]
1. Chapter One

.

.

.

.

The Taming of the Stubborn Inuyoukai

* * *

_It's been one week since you looked at me_

_Threw your arms in the air_

_and said "You're crazy"_

_Five days since you tackled me_

_I've still got the rug burns on both my knees_

_It's been three days since the afternoon_

_You realized it's not my fault_

_not a moment too soon_

_Yesterday you'd forgiven me_

_And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry._

—_One Week - Barenaked Ladies_

* * *

**Chapter One**| Unexpected Gift; Unexpected Time

How had she forgotten her umbrella? How?

Kagome sighed as she held her leather messenger bag over her head, back of it facing the sky in some vain and failing attempt to keep the rain off her person, and, to keep her university books intact.

Really now, life shouldn't be quite so difficult on her birthday. Was Kami-sama punishing her for recording over her brother's favorite anime last week with that documentary on ancient sword technique? You'd think Souta would have been a bit more interested in the latter… then again, she'd probably all but driven her little brother mad with her obsession on anything old that was sharp and pointy. At least her Jii-chan appreciated her passion.

Although, really, that wasn't saying much. The old geezer annoyed everyone in the house with the old ways and crack-pot schemes.

Gah! _I'm turning into my grandfather!_

She shut her eyes tightly as she ran and shook her head. Black hair would have jerked and bounced were it not dampened by the torrential downpour.

_I'm such an idiot, honestly. No wonder Souta thinks I need medication_.

She should have irritated with that proclamation from her sibling, given that much of her time in high school had been wrought with lies about her health just so she could juggle both her studies and finding the jewel shards. But, her brother meant nothing by it, really. He just liked to prick her pride now that he was older.

What had happened to the sweet boy who didn't mind distracting Inuyasha while she caught up on her homework?

_Such a brat_.

Now he just griped at her for TV time; it was a ritual now that they had a billion channels—fighting over who had control of the remote when they weren't working at the books, or, when Kagome wasn't busy in the shrine yard going through her forms. Really, it'd be more fun if her brother would practice with her; she'd not only get to work up a sweat against another human being, but, they could figure out who got the TV that day. Rock, paper, scissors was just too easy.

Though, even her friends thought the obsession that had bloomed a good six years after the well closed was altogether unusual. And they wanted to know why; why did she suddenly spring forth this crazy desire to collect, study, and use all things deadly—specifically ancient katanas, wakizashi, and tanto. It was simple really; she just couldn't tell them truth. The truth was beyond them. The truth meant telling them she was searching for something she'd left some five-hundred years ago in Edo; it meant telling them that she believed that if she could find the swords, trace to where they come or gone, that she'd be able to find Inuyasha, Shippo, and maybe even Kouga—her friends. It meant believing they were still alive and happy. It meant finding out if Miroku and Sango had ancestors.

That obsession… it kept the tears at bay; the wish that she could go back to that place just as she had done before whenever she wanted. How had she taken that for granted? Going back and forth, thinking the well would always be open to her? Had she really thought that at fifteen? Or, had she simply ignored that it would happen one day; that one day she would never be able to go back?

Over the last six years it turned into more. The more knowledge she absorbed, the more she traced one weapon to another, one story to the next, the more she took trips to collector's homes and museums… the more that desire to learn how to use that which she studied arose.

At that point her friends had all began to wonder if she was going to remain single for the rest of her life. And she knew this had not a thing to do with her studies, but rather everything to do with how she filled her schedule with said obsession.

TV time fighting with her brother was really the only moment she cut a break; and not because she didn't already know more than half of what was talked about on those documentaries. No, really it had everything to do with it just being convenient and easy to flop down and indulge on all she knew to be wrong and right about the history of said obsession.

Plus, annoying her brother had its bonuses.

Especially when he was being a little asshole.

Kagome gave an exhausted sigh as she rounded the corner on the sidewalk into the shrine. Steps were taken in leaps with an abuse of power granted her in the form of miko pink energy. But, really, whatever Kami punished miko would surely cut her a break, right? It was pouring, for heaven's sake. She'd been punished enough.

On her birthday!

She sighed again, this time in relief, as she got the front door and slipped in quickly. Water rolled off her form and dripped down on the wood flooring where shoes sat in a row.

"Mom!" Kagome called as she slipped hers off, bouncing on one foot at a time with a grunt. Her sneakers were soaked, socks almost beyond rescue; they had to be.

"Kagome…?"

The twenty-one year old looked up as her mother came in, brown eyes blinking at her only daughter while she wiped her hands on her apron.

Kagome grinned sheepishly as she wiggled her bare toes, socks in one hand—also dripping. "Uh… so it's raining."

Her mother chuckled softly and then laughed easily. "Thank you for the weather report, Kagome. Would you like me to get you a towel?"

"Yes, please," she said all at once, shoulders slumping in defeat. "I had a very long day. This was just the icing on the cake. Really."

Her mother hummed in that way that all mothers did that let you know they were listening, but that you could never be sure if they agreed with you or not. Kagome watched as she disappeared around the corner and then came back, two big fluffy white towels in her hands. "Has Dr. Himura been giving you a hard time again?" she asked with a smile as she offered them to her daughter.

Kagome pouted; actually, scowled. Her nose wrinkled and her eyes closed with a haughty grunt as she grabbed one and fluffed her hair in such a way that you couldn't see her face. She didn't begrudge her mother as the woman went about drying her person off with the other. "He keeps treating me like a gofer intern," she bit off. "I'd blame it on his age, forgetting that I'm an employee with full time benefits; ya know, as in I deserve a little respect—something more than paper pushing to do.

"But, the jerk-face is barely over forty."

"Ah…" her mother said, almost agreeing as she knelt and dried her daughter's jean-damp legs. "You've told me he's one of those genius types who likes to work alone."

"Thinks he's damned good at everything."

Her mother laughed at that before standing.

"Sorry…" Kagome muttered about the curse, looking to the side. She let the towel hang around her shoulders.

"You're forgiven," she said with a smile. "It's your birthday, after all. But, you only get one," she said holding up a finger, "free pass.

"Now, indulge your mother by allowing her to think you're not old enough to use such language and go upstairs and change. Your grandfather and Souta have been waiting for you so we can eat and enjoy some cake."

Kagome nodded with a soft smile of understanding; her mother… she'd never quite see Kagome as an adult. And yet, she never complained about Kagome being herself; not once. The young woman half wondered where she got all that patience from, all that understanding. Had she ever once worried about Kagome during her week-long jaunts back in time? Probably. There had been this sense of tension released from her mother's shoulders rather subtly once she'd told her she wasn't going back, that the well had been sealed.

"Alright." Feeling a bit less damp, she grabbed her bag from the floor and bounded to the stairs like the young girl she'd never quite grown out of. It took but a few beats of said bounding to take her to her room and in the door.

Normally, she'd drop her bag on her bed; however, the leather was still a bit wet and she didn't want that rubbing off on her clean comforter. Instead, she dropped it next to her desk.

Rich shades of the past assailed her; painting of mountains, the mists, in the old style colored her walls. Reds and blues… tones and hues that reminded her royalty, Inuyasha, and the youkai she'd left behind saturated the room in a sharp contrast to the softer tones.

They'd done a lot of renovating since she'd come home. Grandfather had somehow managed to swindle one of those collectors she always went to visit into sponsoring their shrine simply because of the historical significance it held; because his wife had been rather fond of the romantic tale of the youkai and shrine maiden, and because she didn't want the place to fall into ruin. Kagome had thought it was an exaggeration, but perhaps her home had been a bit like 'ruin' to a woman who had a closet the size of Kaede's hut and then some. More so, she'd felt a little put off by it, but had to remind herself that this place wasn't just her home; it was a holy temple that needed any and all help provided to keep it afloat.

Selfishly, she'd been glad for the extra room to keep her own meager collection of weapons, scrolls, and books. The summer job she worked, the one that went part time during classes, was not enough to give her more than that. Even when she got her doctorate she wasn't entirely sure she'd make all that much. Kagome would have to get used to living off what grants the government would offer her, what people with more money than the Emperors of old would give her in the way of sponsorship.

Such was the life of a scholar.

If nothing else, she supposed she could just teach kendo.

Kagome barked laughter at that as she stripped and redressed into a pair of pajama shorts and tank top. She was still grinning as she ran a comb through her hair and put back her long black locks that never seemed to obey her command to _not_ become something reminiscent of a frazzled fan.

She'd straighten it… but, really, she'd look more like Inuyasha's lover than ever before. The last thing she would need would be the shrine maiden outfit. Another laugh at that.

Without much else to do Kagome left her room and jumped down the stairs like a rambunctious teenager. She softened her landing with another abuse of power, knowing her mother would hear her otherwise. No need for a lecture; she'd already spent her free pass for the day.

"I'm here!" she announced with a bright grin as she entered the dining room just off to the kitchen.

"Finally," Souta muttered. "I'm starving already."

"Hush," her mother told him as Kagome took a seat next to the little imp. "Your sister works very hard to help us out. And that requires her to stay late. The very least we can do on her birthday is wait to have dinner as a family.

"Between all your work and studies I see my children so little." Her voice was wistful in the manipulating way mothers all knew how to do so very well to gain pity from their offspring. She even gave a little sniff.

When had her mother become such an odd creature, Kagome wondered. Or maybe she'd always been that way and Kagome never noticed because she'd been so young, so wrapped up with her journey to the past. Or maybe the two of them, Souta and she, had driven her to this as they had both grown.

"_Moooom_," the imp groaned, "It's not like it's _my_ fault." He pouted boyishly, brown knit as he placed his cheek in his palm. Shaggy short strands fell into his eyes. "Can we please eat now?"

"Yes! Or no presents!" Kagome's grandfather decided to pipe in at that moment with a crazy grin. "And I worked diligently for yours, granddaughter!"

Kagome smiled with some strain as she turned to look at him where he sat at the other head of the table opposite of her mother. _Hope it's not another mummified cat this time_, she thought to herself. That was all she needed; another weird artifact to pawn off on one of her professors who were nuts about Egyptology. It wasn't like Kagome didn't like old things; but for some reason her grandfather always got her artifacts he would have liked as a gift. Why didn't he just buy her a bow; archery was something he encouraged. And, really, she'd been eyeing that European bow on the net from the time of the Black Prince. It was—.

"Oh meat!" Souta shouted as they passed dishes around and got right to dinner.

Kagome laughed softly and got right to it as her family chatted on about their lives and so forth. Then came cake, the top of it lit up with number twenty-one. She gave an effulgent grin, closed her eyes, and whispered a silent wish about certain hanyou and youkai she wanted to see again. With a whisper, a blow, they were out and everyone was clapping. Soon enough, presents were shoved into her hands, one from each of them.

"Oh... mama…" Kagome whispered, breathed, as she pulled the wrapping paper back and lifted the lid on the box, revealing a rather impressive blade sheathed in a white scabbard that looked almost like pearl.

"Take it out," her mother told her softly.

Without looking at the woman who birthed her, Kagome did as she bade and stood. She pulled the weapon from its sheath, suddenly struck by the engravings wrought into it, the old kanji.

"I was told it said—."

"Amenonuhoko.." Kagome whispered next in awe. The very weapon that was dipped into the water to churn up the brine by Izanagi and Izanami to create the islands of Japan; the very weapon that had been a spear in folklore before it was reforged into what she—quite possibly—held in her hands. Shockingly, she watched as it rippled with rainbow-like colors when she twisted it in the lighting. But, this couldn't be…

… It was just a story, after all.

Though, so were youkai.

"Is it…"

"Real?" her mother asked. "Quite."

Kagome's gaze shot to hers, trapping her mother's brown gaze with her own blue one as she sat back down with a drop. "How could you have afforded this—."

"It was given to me by the very kind Kimi-san," she told her. "She wanted to make sure you had a proper birthday present and implored that I should give it to you. She told me under no uncertain terms that it belonged with the shrine."

Kagome was awestruck. People did not just give up centuries old swords that were supposedly the very weapons of creation. They didn't. Certainly not to her. Not just because they were married to a man they insisted pay to help rebuild her family's shrine because they were fond of an old romantic legend that had been real life for Kagome.

"She said a miko should have it."

Kagome grunted at that as she put it back in its sheath with a soft snap. "I'm not exactly a miko…" Though, she knew that was a lie, in part. Kagome rarely had time to use her powers; these days it was more of a distraction for childish antics she'd never grown out of. Like bounding up the stairs and skipping five or more at a time when no one was watching. She wasn't a traditionalist at all. But then, it's not like she could fight youkai anymore; which, was a shame. Her time in feudal Japan hadn't been spent mastering her powers very well; she would have done much better getting the shards now than she had before. But, that was all hindsight. She wouldn't be where she was at with them now had she not gone back.

"I'm sure Kimi-san wouldn't mind arguing otherwise if you decide to visit her," her mother offered.

"Enough chit chat! My gift next!" Souta shouted as he shoved a box in her hands.

"So loud," Kagome sing-songed, teasing him as she ripped at the paper and moved to open it. Within it, she discovered her brother had bought her something altogether practical and girly—expensive.

"You said you wanted more of that shampoo, but I know how you spend all your money on pointy things."

Kagome laughed. "I love it, thank you." It probably cost him a good chunk of his allowance; nothing special really, but he'd thought of her needs. And that meant enough. Her hair thanked him; she knew.

And then her grandfather was slapping a small bowed box in front of her, nearly knocking down Souta's gift. "You've earned it," the old man told her.

_Cryptic and weird_, Kagome thought ruefully. Probably another bandaged corpse she'd have to pawn off on one of her colleges. With a resigned and repressed sigh Kagome ripped at the paper and opened the box. _Well… not a corpse at least…_

In it lay a very unusual-looking fude brush. Actually, it reminded her the feudal period, but it was too _new_-looking to be that old. Where had the old man gotten it? Some gift shop? Were they selling these now in their own? From the wolfy-looking creature on it she had to assume so. She could just see the inuyoukai of her time fuming over the badly burnt-in image of their demon-form.

"Uh… thank you, Jii-chan," she said, hoping her voice sounded thankful and appraising.

"I was told it's over four hundred years old, girl."

"It doesn't look it…"

"Well it is!"

"Yes, Jii-chan," she said ruefully, not wanting to argue with him on the finer points of dating old things. "Thank you all so much." She grinned at her family. Souta hugged her, her mother placed a kiss on her forehead before ruffling her hair, and her grandfather joined her brother in the same affection on her person.

"Do you guys mind if I go to bed early? I've got a few things to work on."

"Can't you do it tomorrow? It's your day off then." This from Souta.

"I could, yeah, but I'd like to enjoy my free day, ya know?"

He frowned. "Oi, fine. I'll just take over the TV by myself."

"We can fight about it tomorrow," she told him as she gathered her gifts and her mother began to clear the table. "Anyway, help mom."

"Yeah, yeah…"

With a roll of her eyes Kagome escaped to her room. The day had been shitty for sure, but, her family always had a way of making even the worst of them come together that much better.

Now, if only she didn't have to do paperwork well into the one in the morning…

…Idiot boss.

* * *

Kagome gave a grumble as she slapped the file shut on her desk. Her fingers hurt from all the typing and writing she'd done. At this rate she'd have carpel tunnel before she was thirty. Why couldn't her idiot team lead get it through his skull that just because she was a twenty-one year old that she was _not_ an intern. Granted, she had another two years left on her doctorate because she was taking her time after she'd rushed through to secure her AA and bachelors… but, oi! that _man._

At least it was done, she mused as she gazed on at her digital clock just as it shifted the time to one-thirty. All was quiet in the house and she'd held off really looking at her presents until she'd finished, as if she needed some kind of small reward for the hard work she shouldn't be doing.

Her mother's gift had been really unexpected. Kagome still wasn't convinced, honestly, that the blade in the mother-of-pearl encrusted sheathe was the weapon of legend. She was certainly convinced it was a nice sword, one that may have been made ages ago in prompting of the legend. But, no, not the actual blade. She wanted to use Souta's gift tonight; another reward for her hard work. But, first to have a gander that weird gift shop fude her grandfather thought was a real-deal ancient tool.

It was silly, honestly. Her grandfather knew as much about old crap (in general) as she did about old weapons. Why in the seven hells would he think the calligraphy tool was anything but a recently-made item? Probably put together in China along with a thousand or so others…

Maybe he was going more senile that he normally did.

Maybe.

Still, Kagome was drawn to it. She noted this draw became that much stronger as she pulled it out of its box and rolled the wooden part of it between her fingers. One elbow was set on the desk and her cheek pressed into her fist in such a way that smooshed her face. It wasn't stained, she noted as she got a better look at it. The wood was coated in something, but not stained. It was really white too… not a tint of yellow or brown in it. What had they used to make such a thing?

Her eyes narrowed as she noted the violet-red hairline lines in it; they were apart of the wood and didn't look painted at all. She squinted and brought it closer to her face. Well, what kind of wood had purple-red in it? Something exotic probably.

Her fingers twisted it about and fluffed through the brush part of it, noting how soft and firm the hairs were. Wolf? Maybe. They didn't feel like dog. If it were from feudal Japan animal hair would have been used; it didn't feel like cat—.

She stilled.

A ripple of something… waved out. Hadn't it? It was so fast. No, probably her imagination. The need for sleep, or maybe her wish to see her friends who were probably long dead by now was doing it. Yes. That hadn't been youkai power she sensed. Wouldn't be.

Impossible.

Her lips pressed tightly together and her eyes narrowed once more.

She wondered what her grandfather expected her to do with it. She'd earned it? Senile. He was totally senile. Kagome didn't need medication; he did.

Another urge hit her; probably out of boredom. With a notable yawn, the not-miko pulled a slip of paper from one of her stacks and grabbed the tools she'd need. Fairly quickly, black ink was made in the way it once was and she gathered it onto the brush with a few dips and strokes.

"Hopefully Jii-chan didn't expect me not to use it," she said aloud, knowing she'd feel worse about if it were an actual antique. It just didn't feel like one, and hey, why not use her gift? Even if was silly and made her think of the past she couldn't return to. Right?

Right.

Black slid over white as she painted what she thought were words; poor ones at that. She'd never been good at this, not being a true miko at all.

Still, it felt relaxing to watch the ink spread over the paper and—.

It happened again.

_Ba-dump…!_

The fude suddenly jerked out of her hand and glowed, snapping in the air. She stood up in reaction, toppling her chair as she stepped back. Blue eyes widened as the fude moved on its own.

_Crap, is it cursed?!_ she wondered, recalling the mask that had taken over her grandfather years ago.

Kagome ducked as it shot to her and at the same time reached for the sword her mother had gifted her. The katana slid out of its sheathe with a relative ease she was accustomed to.

_Youkai! Youkai!_ Her body screamed, her miko instincts shouted at her. At the same time the pink aura hummed in the weapon in her hand as she took a stance and tossed the scabbard aside towards her bed some ten feet away.

The fude jerked in air, pointing and spinning as if looking for something. It came at her again and Kagome dove out of the way, barely missing her turned over chair as she rolled to stand. But when it came again and she moved to strike, it jerked and slipped beyond her defenses.

_Why me?!_ She screeched in her own head as the fude brushed over skin while she fell on her ass. _What the fuck is it doing?!_

The black ink wove over her arms, her neck, her exposed back, and chest. She felt a blinding power that reminded her of a sealing technique, but it was youkai. It burned heavily; although, it didn't hurt. More confused and now intrigued than she was afraid, Kagome stood up slowly as the brush worked and drew. It wasn't hurting her.

Something pinched her ear and she reached up to the cuff of her right one, feeling something cool and metal. An earring? It dangled and she had the urge to go look in her mirror. But then something else happened.

The fude stopped in front of her and then faded from sight with a flash of white light that blazed in her room. Still grasping the sword, she shielded her eyes with the other hand, only dropping it when the luminosity was gone.

She blinked at the empty room… wondering just what in the hell had happened. That was until she felt with warm crawling on her chest—stomach. Kagome jumped and then lifted her shirt just high enough to look down.

She gasped.

On her skin was a gray-shaded tattoo of a demon dog that looked distinctly like—.

It moved.

"What the fu—." It was all she got out before it jumped off of her body, soared through the air, and then took form in a twisting of limbs and more white light. On the ground a man kneeled—a man who, unless she was fucking crazy (maybe she needed those pills after all), was bare-chested with his long white hair in a pool around him over one shoulder. She couldn't see his eyes as they were downcast with his face. One hand was one his knee, the other in a fist with knuckles flat on the floor. He was broad… very broad and… very… familiar…

His aura was. But, who…

Kagome's eyes widened… no. No way!

Her body screamed that her assessment was right even as she told it that _it_ _was wrong_. It had to be. There was no fucking way that the Lord of the—.

"Mistress," she heard him speak, "my will is your own, your command thine. Tell me of what you desire and it shall be yours if it is within my ability. From this point on I am in your service until death takes you, or, you see fit to claim me as your own."

Kagome felt herself hyperventilating; no… that was just her addled brain telling her she fucking should be. She should!

"…Sesshoumaru?" she whispered in disbelief, too shocked to say anything else.

Yellow cat-like eyes that she hadn't seen in well over six years shot up to hers. And though his face was entirely impassive… there was defiance in that gaze—aggression. They narrowed and his jaw flexed.

"What…" she found herself saying, blurting, as she put her foot in her mouth all of sudden—as she generally did when faced with something altogether insane and… and… "What the fuck is this?!" she blurted next, sword loose in her grip. Really, she didn't know what else to say.

Who in the hell would?

"Miko…" she heard him mutter, focusing on her. His jaw flexed again. "May I stand?"

"Uh… yeah…"

And so he did. And that was about the time Kagome forgot to think because her eyes were full of bare chested youkai; bare chested youkai in very silky white pants that were bound to his waist by that damnably blue and gold sash she'd always seen him in.

_Oh, damn… that's not good for my senses… not at all. Hot chest; nice chest; yesssss very nice._

"You are aroused," she heard him say.

Blue depths jerked up to meet his gaze. She gave herself a pat on the back for not blushing; though, that probably had everything to do with the fact that she was still reeling from a very hot and sexy Sesshoumaru standing her room half naked and calling her mistress.

_Dreaming, right_?"

"Would you like me to attend to that need?"

Wait… what…?

He raised a brow at her; that action lasted a moment before he stepped into her space, the heat of him radiating and warming her as he reached out and brushed hair away from her temple. Those soft digits slid along her scalp with a scrape of his claws, causing her to gasp as the electricity of his touch slid right to her core. She felt his other hand come to her shoulder; that touch was soft too… barely grasping her as his thumb rolled over her bare skin.

"You are aroused," he said again, deep timber of his voice darker and just as penetrating, "it has been some twenty cycles of the planet around the sun since This Sesshoumaru had lain with another.

"Would you allow me to attend that need? My own?"

Kagome, somewhere between the fude coming to life and a blast from the past appearing in her bedroom, had completely lost all ability to think. Really, she had. But, who could blame her?

Mildly, she _tried to think_ of the last time she'd had sex with anyone. There were probably cobwebs in her vagina by now; eck… not a good image. No, no, not at all. Bad, Kagome. Baaaaaad.

"Really... confused…" she managed somehow, not entirely sure she wanted to break the spell. "You… uh… is this _real_?" she asked stupidly. Somehow the idea of Sesshoumaru—arrogant, asshole, trying-to-kill-Kagome, stick-up-his-ass Sesshoumaru—asking to sleep with her just felt too bizarre to be anything but a dream.

_So don't wanna wake up; yup, not ashamed of that thought. Nupe._

"I am pain," he told her simply, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "Twenty cycles have—."

"I got that the first time," she said, finding her brain was coming back to her even as he skimmed his lips over her cheek, hovering dangerously close to her own as if he just needed her to say yes. He'd tilted her head to do that and she really couldn't find a good reason to pull away. "I just—information," she said next. "How did this…" Oh man… hot breath… lips close. _Very_ close.

"You want to know why I am here?" he murmured, eyes half shut as they focused on her mouth. His other hand still caressed her arm, sliding up and down in a way that created a gentle hum along her skin.

"Y-yeah…" she said brokenly. "Can uh…" Vaguely, she recalled that speech he'd given her about being hers or something. Oh, that didn't help at all… but, did that mean she could tell him to stop? Fuck, did she want to?

"Are you commanding me to tell you?"

"Maybe?" she said as his lips brushed hers and sent another surge of want to her groin.

"I am your servant," he said in that way that told her there would be no other explanation.

"Sure… got that…" Blink. "_How_?"

He sighed in a way that most people did when they wanted something but could not have it; then, he closed his eyes.

Kagome found herself wrapped in his embrace, his hands moving to caress her everywhere while his face slid into the crook of her neck: her back, her bottom, her thighs, her sides, her shoulders, the base of her skull—like he couldn't get enough of touching her... So… _weird_…

That hot mouth opened along her throat; fangs grazed. On instinct, she grabbed onto his shoulders, sword hitting the floor, just as his tongue licked a path of molten heat that made her gasp.

"Tell me how—_shit_," she cursed as he bit gently.

_Has to be a dream. I've been working too hard. Must have fallen asleep at my desk. Man, all that ink is gonna look real great in the morning on my face. Did I start drawing in the dream? Crap, I hope I finished my paperwork…_

Something akin to a rumble of a growl ran against her neck, her ear, as his nose brushed along her skin and into her hair. He inhaled, smelling her. Somehow, a youkai smelling her didn't seem quite so creepy. It should have been; it wasn't.

"My mother bid me to mate, to learn humility. I refused, and thus was cast into a curse of her making—binding me to the fude brush. For some four hundred years I have been in the service of others.

"You used the brush, therefore you are my mistress.

"Now," he went on, voice just a deep as ever, "will you allow me to attend your need?

"My own?" he punctuated.

"Gotta be a dream…" she said out loud as he took the lobe of her ear into his mouth and sucked, soothing it with his tongue. "Gotta… be…" She had to rationalize it that way. It was. Had to be. Maybe this was what her birthday wish had conjured for her. Surely. Yeah, that made it alright.

She was a sleeping and in the morning she'd have one fabulous memory to hold onto when the real world came back and she went back to work the day after tomorrow; something to help her daydream while her boss gave her hell. Maybe she'd get lucky and dream about a Sesshoumaru love-slave again later.

Yes, a dream.

"Mistress?" he whispered softly, voice full of pained want.

"Yes—uh—attending. I'll take it. Super-sized with a side of all of it."

If he'd been confused by her babble she didn't know. Because in the next moment his lips captured hers in all of the aggressive desire that had been swimming in his eyes when he'd first looked at her. He poured it into her as he lifted her. Kagome found her arms winding around his neck, her legs about his hips. She felt nails—claws—biting into her back and butt as he pressed her as close to him as he could get her.

His mouth ravaged hers, tongue sliding against her own in some battle as she twined her fingers into his hair and held on. _So soft_. In the next moment she was on her bed, her shirt was coming off—her pants. The speed of it all would have had her nervous normally. But, hey—dream! She moved to reach for him, kissing him once more and enjoying the way he hummed in pleasure while he took off his shoes, his pants.

And then he was pressing against her again, this time with skin on skin. She could feel that hard part of him bumping against her thigh as they both shifted further up on the mattress. His mouth never quite left hers while he crawled after her; not until she settled and it moved capture of nipple. She cried out at that, arching as her legs spread. That sound only became louder as he slid two fingers into her. At first, she jerked away, worried about claws.

_It's a dream, no need to worry about flayed girly parts._

Nothing cut into her; there was nothing but the pleasure he writ into her skin, within her, and on the sensitive nub between her folds. Her hands found purchase on his shoulders even as he went lower, as his mouth went to that place and lapped. Her body twisted and flexed; she gasped as he rolled his tongue into a motion that had her nails clawing into him.

It all felt so good; so damned good.

_I _am_ dreaming, right...?_

She careened into her orgasm with what seemed so little effort on his part, telling her that this indeed had to be a dream. No man ever set her blood on fire so much. Nothing ever seemed this… this surreal, this intangible and tangible at once.

In one smooth motion that felt too hazy to be real, he was within her fully. His mouth was on hers, her throat, her ear; she could feel him nipping and biting as if he wanted to pierce skin. And really, she wanted him to. Kami, how she wanted him to.

"Let me…" he seemed to beg; which, was silly. Sesshoumaru did _not_ beg. Well, apparently dream-Sesshoumaru did. No complaints. Nupe.

"Please," she found herself saying. "I want… Ah!" And then he did. Her dream youkai-lover bit down and drew from her. Her nails cut down his back until they halted on his ass; it was there she dug in as she thrust back with his own motions.

Sweat-slicked and falling into oblivion, Kagome came for the second time as the dream-youkai begged her to find climax with him, as he came with her.

Some presents, she mused in the folds of her dream—wondering why she'd fall asleep in a dream with a dream-youkai tenderly covering them both in her blankets and sheets before he pulled her back to his front—really were better than others.

_Jii-chan_… _your gift… really was the best._

* * *

**AN :: **So, a few years ago I wrote this really _awful_ KagInu fic. I never finished it. Since then, it's been deleted and replaced with equally awful Naruto fics I wrote years ago. At any rate, I blame all of this on my friend Kimmi. She got me reading that deviantart comic Raindrops; then, I decided it'd be a great idea to go and read some SesKag fics since I'd sucked the well dry on Naruto and Buffy fanfiction for my favorite pairings.

I promised myself I'd quit writing fanfics. Apparently I fail at that.

So, here you go. Hope you enjoyed it—my fail at quitting.

Be warned though, I may not update as often as you'd like me to as my original fiction is more of my focus.

Damn you, Kimmi.

—**Blade **


	2. Chapter Two

.

.

.

.

The Taming of the Stubborn Inuyoukai

* * *

_It's been one week since you looked at me_

_Threw your arms in the air_

_and said "You're crazy"_

_Five days since you tackled me_

_I've still got the rug burns on both my knees_

_It's been three days since the afternoon_

_You realized it's not my fault_

_not a moment too soon_

_Yesterday you'd forgiven me_

_And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry._

—_One Week - Barenaked Ladies_

* * *

**Chapter Two**| Doggy in The Window

Kagome couldn't recall the last time she felt so sated, so rested, so warm in her queen-sized bed. Even her sheets felt good; they were somehow plusher, fuller, more swathing than they had ever been before. She felt like she was wrapped in a cloud. Truly, she was thankful today was her day off: it meant she could sleep in. Though, part of her did wonder why her alarm hadn't screamed to wake her up. She didn't remember turning that function off before she fell asleep.

Had her mother come and put her to bed? Perhaps Souta…

She could have sworn she'd fallen asleep at her desk.

Either way, she was thankful not to have a crick in her neck. A contented smile tugged at her mouth as she shifted and gave a murr sound, moving further into the furnace of heat behind her. In response, said furnace of heat growled lowly in what reminded her of a cat purring; it then pulled her closer. A warm breath rolled over neck with the previous sound and for a long moment Kagome let an array of emotions drag on—happiness, contentment, and wholeness.

She'd had such a good dream last night…

Such… a good… Her eyes flashed open.

Several things happened at once:

First, Kagome realized that she was no longer dreaming, and therefore she shouldn't be feeling anyone purring or growling behind her.

Secondly, the pinch she gave herself did nothing to remove the notion that she was, in fact, coiled in a very male embrace—a very male youkai embrace.

Thirdly, she screamed and plastered herself against a wall that wasn't there—in the process falling in a tumble of sheets to the floor with a thump.

She didn't have the fortitude to give a crap about her smarting rear on the rug covered hardwood. No, not at all; not when her focus, her gaze, was entirely on the man sitting up and rubbing his eyes. She watched as he watched her, face impassive aside from the raised ivory brow. The sheet slid from his upper body as casually as a sheet could. And once more, she was gifted with the sight of his very bare and hairless chest.

"You are very loud," he intoned.

And just like that, Kagome knew this wasn't a dream. _Last night_ had not been a dream. It hit her like a tidal wave of ice cold water. She felt like her brother had snuck up behind her and dumped a bucket of it on her. She could almost—almost—hear him cackling like the imp he was. But that sound in her mind faded away and she was still left sitting there sprawled out on the floor staring up and The Lord of The Western Lands, The Killing Perfection, Inuyasha's half brother…

…Sesshoumaru.

She'd had sex with Sesshoumaru.

Amazingly great sex.

With Sesshoumaru.

And she was naked.

"Oh crap," she blurted.

He said nothing.

"I wasn't dreaming," she said next. "I thought it was a dream."

He snorted, eyes shutting as he bent one knee under the bedding and placed his elbow on his thigh; his hand moved to rest on his cheek. This series of actions made his bangs jostle and brush his temple just so, made the blue-jeweled earring hanging from the cuff of his ear chime because of the bell attached to it.

"What?" she said, slightly put off by his silent indifference.

Sesshoumaru then opened his eyes and looked at her. He opened his mouth to say something and then shut it—silent.

Blue eyes narrowed. "You want to say something."

"I do," he admitted.

"Then just say it."

And so he did. "You spent almost an entire year of your life in the feudal era fighting youkai, magic, and things this realm would perceive to be entirely impossible; things you would have likely perceived to be impossible before falling through the well. And yet, you convinced yourself that my appearance, my person attending to our mutual needs, was somehow a dream?" He was frowning just so then and Kagome got the distinct impression he was… upset.

"Hey!" she snapped, standing and all at once realizing he was insulting her in that purely super-fancy way that nobility did; jerk! Her hands went to her hips as she glowered down at him. "I was tired, alright?! It's been a long week and I didn't exactly expect a blast from the past to pop out of a fude brush and _attend our mutual needs_!

"It was a…" she reached for a word, the right word, "a coping mechanism!"

He said nothing.

Kagome huffed and jerked her clothes back on that were on the floor, not liking how bare she was in front of him just then.

He still said nothing.

"Are you just gonna sit there and not say anything?"

"Would you like me to?"

"It's better than that arrogant all-knowing silence!"

"Yes, mistress," he murmured, eyes closing once more as if he were trying to shut her out—her anger. "What would you like me to say?"

Kagome was at a loss for words—entirely. What the hell was going on here? One moment he had this look in his eye like he was the arrogant asshole she once knew, and in the next his whole body took on this… heaving drop of submission.

To her.

But… Sesshoumaru didn't submit to anyone…

She was reminded of all those times he and Inuyasha had fought, all the things he'd said and hadn't said. She was reminded of how he would walk away, not viewing more than half of what he came across to be worth his time. Sesshoumaru, the man who more than likely imagined the world revolved around him…

…what in the hell had happened to him?

Kagome sunk down on the mattress next to him softly and stared at his features, shut down at they were. Her heart dropped. Everything about this seemed so wrong; it was so completely wrong.

This was not the man she knew, not totally.

She went back to what he'd said last night, trying to think beyond all of it what he'd said about his mother and a curse. Yes, he had. Something about mother binding him to the fude brush, right?

She had to know, had to figure this out before someone came knocking on her door to find a fully grown and naked inuyoukai in her bed.

"What did your mother do to you…?" she whispered. "Why did she do this?"

Amber hues opened languidly and met hers.

"Please tell me. The whole story. Everything after I left," she implored him, thinking that she needed to actually tell him that in order to get him to do it. But, then something about that felt wrong. "But… ah… you can leave what you want out. You know… things you want to keep to yourself."

He nodded and she got the distinct feeling a bit of tension had left his shoulders. "Five years passed on after your departure and my mother and I asked Inuyasha and his miko mate to take their place in the Western Lands. Much deliberation went on between my mother and I, and, in the end we decided it would do well to strengthen our holdings to have them join the pack."

"I didn't think you were fond of humans…"

"Time eases all wounds," he replied vaguely. There was a pause before he went on, as if he recalled some memory she couldn't see. "Forty-five years went on after that. Inuyasha and Kikyo worked towards a union of peace between the larger youkai nations and the human feudal lords. I assisted them where I could and our strength became that much stronger.

"My mother, in the midst of all this, pressured me to mate and provide offspring—heirs. I could not because the political upheaval was too much for Inuyasha; his mate did not completely understand the delicate manner in which one must negotiate with youkai—Inuyasha knew even less about such matters."

Kagome smiled. "I can't imagine Inuyasha negotiating with anyone, not unless you count pissing them off as successfully negotiating."

"Indeed," he replied.

_Be nice if he smiled_, she thought. _I made a funny. Laughing should happen._

"I also desired that Rin marry or mate before I took on one of my own. I did not want to disrupt her life with another woman, a woman who might not take kindly to a human girl for an adoptive daughter."

"But, she was married by then?"

He nodded. "She was. And in turn my mother pressured me further for another fifty years."

"So… why didn't you...?"

"I did not want to," he said simply, still looking at her. That amber gaze didn't waver once. "She grew impatient and frustrated. It is customary for the oldest son in my line to mate before he takes the throne; her ire was understandable even if I found it tedious."

Kagome laughed, but stopped and slapped a hand over her mouth when he raised a brow at her. "Sorry… sorry... Go on."

"She caught me off guard one evening, procured some of my demon hair, and cursed me into the fude brush she had fashioned with youkai magic. Her wish was that I would grow weary of my service to others, bending to their every want and need. In turn, she imagined I would learn humility and settle on a bond mate."

"…and it's been this way for over four hundred years?"

"It has."

Kagome blinked stupidly. "Can I ask a few more questions?"

"I am incapable of refusing you, mistress."

This whole mistress thing was going to grate on her nerves, but she'd deal with that later. "Alright… well… so, you're tied to me or something?"

"I am bound to you, yes."

"What does that mean? Like, what happened last night? You said something about twenty cycles—years. And then there's the tattoo and this earring." As she said the last part she reached up and touched the dangling thing on her right ear cuff that she had yet to look at in a mirror. "I hate to ask this," she went on with a slight warming of her cheeks. "But… ah…

"…are you supposed to be some kind of sex slave? Is that why…" Oh, man, even asking felt so wrong. So damned wrong. Sex slave and Sesshoumaru didn't not go in the same sentence together.

Sesshoumaru just stared at her as she asked her question, ever patient. Still, she could see something in that gaze—something weary and aggressive. It was as though he'd given up, some part of him had. And yet, some part of him had not.

When he spoke his voice was just the same as before: cultured, inflection present on certain consonants, and lacking a softness or hardness. "When you used the fude brush it drew my demon form onto your body and pierced your ear with the earring; the latter acts as a collar, the former as a means for me to be with you at all times for protection and convenience."

"Oh," she said if she understood. _A collar?_

"Being bound to you simply means that I am in your service—my duty is to see to your every need and desire. Whatever it is you order of me I am to do to the best of my ability."

"…What… what happens if you don't?"

"Then you may punish me as you see fit."

Kagome's jaw dropped. "P-punish..?"

He nodded once. "There are several effective ways to punish me," he told her as if he were talking about the weather or teaching a class. "The first would be to keep me from your person for an extended period of time and at a distance farther than five feet. The further the distance and the more time passes the more I am pained.

"The second is to press your emotions through the bond tenfold. In doing so I feel what you feel, what you want me to feel, and, am pained as a result.

"The third and final way to punish This Sesshoumaru is to physically do harm by means of beating, whipping, or—."

"Whipping?" she blurted, eyes wide. Her chest suddenly hurt, her throat caught with some upheaval of emotion and disbelief. "People… people…" she whispered, "people _beat you_?

"They… _whipped you_?"

"They did."

Kagome just stared at him, still at a loss. She just couldn't imagine anyone beating Sesshoumaru. It wasn't possible. She tried to. She tried to see his bent body clinging to the ground as someone slashed his back with a cat of nine tails. Somehow, she couldn't get the blood out of her mind.

"Kami," she whispered. "Why in the hell would someone do that to you?" she snapped, suddenly upset that anyone would beat another person. It didn't matter if it was Sesshoumaru or not.

"Merely because they wanted to, mistress."

The knowledge hurt worse; hearing him say it with the title he appeared forced into saying made it _much worse_.

Kagome was suddenly wrapped with the want to hold him, to clutch him. And she did, because, god damnit, that was you fucking did when someone told you people beat them just because they felt like it.

She felt his arms wrap around her in turn, his chin on her head. He let out a slow exhale, as if to release something from within himself.

"Do you have need of me again?" he asked her softly, that tint in his voice allowing her to know exactly what he meant.

"Need?" she whispered.

"Your needs," he clarified. "You are embracing me. It is This Sesshoumaru's assumption that you want to copulate once more."

She jerked back and placed her hands on his shoulders. Sapphire orbs stared up into his. "I'm comforting you," she told him.

"Ah…" he replied as if almost alien to the idea.

And she didn't even want to begin to try and understand what that implied, what it meant for him to feel wholly separated from the idea of comfort. Hadn't Rin comforted him? Surely she had. She couldn't quite see the demon lord being comforted by friends, perhaps even his mother, but somehow she couldn't believe Rin had never done it. The child had always been a ball of delight and love.

Or… maybe… it had been that long? Four hundred years was a long time, after all. Had all of his masters been selfish, cruel, and demanding?

"You said there was a way to break the curse, right?"

"There is only one way."

"Mating, right?"

"Correct."

Kagome frowned as her thumbs idly rubbed into his skin. It occurred to her that he hadn't answered all of her questions before, but she'd bug him about the others later. It's not like he was going anywhere, and, it had been her fault by interjecting.

"So, we'll just find you a mate, right? Shouldn't be too hard."

"That is not possible."

"What? Then how do we break the curse?" Her brow knit as she stared up at him still.

He blinked down at her slowly; the action gave her the impression that he thought her addled, as if he didn't need to tell her, or, had already.

He probably had.

"If you do not make me yours then the curse will remain. When you pass on I will be in service to someone else eventually; in turn, it will be up to them to—."

"Are you telling me that we, as in your and me," she said as she pointed at him and then herself, "_we_ have to mate to break the curse?"

"You will have to allow me to, yes."

The only thought Kagome had at the moment was: Twenty-one really is too young to get married and have kids.

Wait, pups. _They are called pups, right?_

And then her eyes widened and her body stiffened.

Sesshoumaru raised his brow again.

"Crap, I didn't use protection."

* * *

Four hundred years… had it been that long? Sesshoumaru mused this while the human female, the miko who stiffened in his embrace, cursed herself. She appeared worried that she'd forgotten to use a condom before their coupling. He could feel that fear, that worry, as it emanated off of her and into him through the connection. His grip was loose on her body, but he pulled her closer and fed soothing emotions into her.

"Prevention of pregnancy will not be necessary," he told her as he rubbed circles in the base of her spine with his thumbs, lifting her tank top just so.

She was pushing back again and looking at him with a knit brow, her small fists pressing just between the space of his collarbone and upper chest. "…What are you doing to me?"

"Would you like me to stop, mistress?" He pushed more of that soothing emotion into her, just to see what she'd do.

He wasn't sure if he could count himself lucky in being bound to Kagome, his half brother's former—brief—love interest. It had been twenty cycles since he'd last been free from his prison, his slumber. The quiet had gone on endlessly while half of his mind felt, saw, heard, and smelled where the fude brush he'd been trapped into went.

His life felt wasted… caught in the wants of others.

Those who needed his power, those who wanted his body, those who desired his protection, and those who used him no better than he'd once used an object he'd grown tired of. He'd grown used to being an object, a tool for others. It was easier to be blank, void, empty; easier than letting his aggression become visible to whomever possessed him. It was better to give them what they wanted and hide away his own wants—desires. Sometimes, however, favor shined on him as it had last night. Twenty years of not being in heat had hit him heavily once she'd released him; anyone could have released him from the fude brush and he likely would have pressed for that desire… or at the very least permission to give himself relief.

But, part of him was glad it was the miko from the future… now the present.

How he loathed his mother for doing this to him.

The first fifty years he'd fought against his bindings, lashed out at his masters, and cursed them openly even while they beat him into submission. The whole time he calmly told himself that she would regret what she'd done, that she would come for him. The Western Lord refused to be the first to bend; he wouldn't give into what she wanted. His mother might be a mischievous and wanton creature, but, she loved him. Her pride was not so great that she would leave him to suffer.

And yet, she had.

Time waned on him, people did. Eventually, he just gave up trying to fight her wishes. For a good hundred years after that he longed for someone to accept what he had not wanted to. He longed to go back to that time and tell his mother yes, that he would gladly mate with whomever she decided on. Any woman would do—any. Any woman was better than this agony of giving to others with no end in sight, of trying to fight the natural urge to bend and soothe his masters.

How he'd hated it.

Hated her. He did.

And yet, no one had given him that which he desired—freedom at the joining of another. Once his masters knew what he was they dared not risk releasing him, fearing retribution in the power they contained and controlled if it were let lose.

He briefly recalled begging a woman at one point, beyond reason or sense.

And then came the acceptance—the void. The knowing that this was his life and nothing more could be done about it. He would never be released, never die, and it would go on and on… never-ending.

How had Inuyasha reacted? Had he cared at all what his mother had done, his now adoptive mother had done? Or, had he held fast to all Sesshoumaru had done to him in the past and thanked the gods he was gone? After all, without the elder son of their father in the way the hanyou was free to take over as Western Lord.

He didn't care anymore.

"I'm not sure… but, what are you doing? And what do you mean, it's not necessary?"

Her reply pulled him from his own thoughts; he'd grown accustomed to that—thinking in his own head. It was easier than voicing any of it and angering his master. Still, he replied to her as he knew he had to, "I am attempting to soothe your worry through our connection."

"It goes both ways?"

"Unless you block me out, yes."

"Oh."

"As for the other," he further explained, "my mother was attentive enough to ensure my progeny were not roaming all over the world and through time while I am bound to others.

"I am incapable of impregnating you as I am currently."

Kagome felt relieved at that admission. She wasn't ready to have kids yet, never mind how her mother might freak out. Though, her mother took everything in stride; it was hard to imagine her freaking out about anything. "This is a lot to take in," she admitted as it all sunk in.

She was in possession, literal possession, of a youkai lord. He would do anything she told him—asked. Daunting, that's what it was. She didn't want to be in possession of him; and yet, she had to admit it was nice to see a well-known face from her time before.

This whole mating thing… she'd have to think about it later. Not now; later. Maybe after some coffee.

He didn't reply to her statement; so, she pulled away from his embrace gently. She needed to create a little space between them. Feeing him both physically and mentally was really messing with her head and making her want to repeat last night.

"I ah… sorry… could you maybe stop the whole soothing thing?" she asked him as she sat across from him on the bed, folding her legs into one another in a crossed-position.

"You could block me," he told her, "But yes, I will."

And just like that, the soothing was gone. Kagome let out a breath. "Thank you."

"You are welcome."

"Ok, so let me see if I have this right…" she began, "Your mother wanted you to mate; you refused. She got tired of waiting around and bound you to the fude brush. Since then you've been forced to do what your masters wanted you to do. Four hundred years have gone on since then." She pondered more, chewing her bottom lip while looking to the side. Her brow furrowed. "We're connected, but I can block you if I want. Can you block me?"

"No."

_That's not really fair_. She sighed and rubbed her temples. "Ok, so, the earrings are collars."

"Only mind is. Yours is what you might call a tether—a leash."

She nodded, thankful he was being forthcoming even if she hated each bit of information more than the last. "And you become this tattoo on my body so you can go everywhere with me."

"Yes."

"And I also get this feeling that you have to make me feel better, or try… right?" It certainly explained why he was so busy trying to touch her so much, why he'd tried to ease her worry even if he wasn't accustomed to being comforted himself.

"I am bound by the curse to ease my master's ache, pain, or any other number of unwanted emotions."

"Your mother is really fucked up, I gotta say that." Kagome frowned at him. He was so blank. Maybe a topic change would be better before she dealt with any of this further. She'd have to let her family know he was here; there was no way she could hide a fully mature youkai in her room and on her body. "You don't know what happened to others after you were cursed, do you?"

"I do not," he admitted, "However, I know they remain in Japan. Each summoning has been in this country; each time I have felt them."

She blinked. "You… felt them?"

"They spend much of their time concealing their auras… though, sometimes I can sense them."

"That would explain why I haven't…" Kagome sighed out. "Sometimes I sense a youkai or two, but it never ends up being them once I trace it. I've been tempted to ask the youkai I locate if they know anything… but, I'm not sure how receptive to a miko they might be."

"I would not know," he told her. "Negotiations with the feudal lords were all but handled when I fell prey to my mother. It is entirely possibly they would not react badly if you were to ask after my family."

Kagome grunted and half bounced in her seat on the bed as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, we're going to have to find them now. You can't stay this way and I bet Inuyasha wasn't happy about what your mom did."

He blinked at her.

"We're gonna find them and convince your dear old mama to break this stupid curse."

Something he had not felt in a long time burned within him and Sesshoumaru frowned. His brow furrowed while he tried to figure out just what it was.

"Hope," she told him, as if she'd read his mind. Though, she sounded just as surprised as he did. "I felt that."

"Kagome!"

Bright blue eyes widened as she the door to her room flew open, they jerked in that direction. "S-Souta," she got out as he tumbled into her room, ran towards her bed, and then stopped short. She knew he'd been rather intent on flouncing onto her to wake her up. But, obviously, the sight of her sitting there with a man stopped him short.

Brown eyes bugged out of his head and his jaw dropped. "Uh…"

"It's not what it looks like," she told him, trying to regain her composure. Actually, it was, but he didn't need to know that.

"Holy shit, you've got a dude in your room," he stated, staring at Sesshoumaru. "I don't even know how mom would react to this…"

Kagome sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Probably not badly." She hoped.

"Wait, you look like Inuyasha…" Souta said next.

To this, the inuyoukai said nothing.

"That's because he's a youkai," Kagome told him as she stood. "Can you make yourself useful and go get those clothes you got for Christmas last year that are too big? The ones in the spare room closet?"

"He doesn't have clothes?" he asked in disbelief, jaw dropping.

Kagome growled at where his mind was going to—right to the gutter. "Not modern ones! I'll explain later, imp. Just… go get them, alright?"

Souta rolled his eyes. "Fine, whatever. I'm taking the TV today though."

Kagome didn't argue; she had bigger problems than worrying about fighting over TV time with her brother. Like asking her dear old grandfather just where in the hell he'd gotten that fude brush from.

"Your brother?" she heard Sesshoumaru ask.

She jerked her gaze to his, pulled from her thoughts. "Yeah... he's a pain in the ass these days.

"Not unlike your own brother." She waited for some kind of reaction, but, none came. Nothing. Finally, she frowned and her arms dropped from where they'd been crossed over her chest to her sides. "You know, you used to be pretty stoic before, but this is bordering on obsession."

"Do you want me to show emotion, mistress?"

"Ok, that… that has to stop…" she said softly, pained. "I'm just… not used to you this way. It's…

"You _don't_ have to call me that if you don't want to, alright? Kagome is fine. I'll even settle for miko at this point." She rubbed her shoulder and sighed. "You really don't have to worry about me being a jerk to you, ok? I'm not gonna beat your or anything. Really, I'd just be happier if you were you… or as you as you can be after four hundred years of dealing with dick faces who want to use you."

All at once Kagome was struck by the way his eyes went from a void… to soft. Really soft. There was tenderness there… not aloofness. Feeling. Really feeling. Relief. That's what she felt through the connection. A sense of relief… and then fear. Just like that it was gone though.

"You want me to be… myself?" he asked, tone barely curious. He wasn't entirely sure if he knew how to be anymore. No, he knew… he just... Instinct dictated he take the less weathered path, the one that didn't cause him anymore suffocating pain than he would be forced to endure.

"Well, whatever you're comfortable with," she said next. "I'm gonna have to get used to the fact that you'll literally do what I say… I wonder if there's a way around that…" She frowned, thinking as she tapped her chin. "How about this? Unless I call you daiyoukai, it's not a command. Ok? You won't have to do what I say.

"I don't think I'll need to unless, you know, you decide to go on some insane spree of destruction across Edo." She chuckled lightly. "So, just to make sure: you are not required to do as I say unless I refer to you as daiyoukai in the same sentence as the command."

"…Very well."

Kagome sighed. The softness was gone, but at least the fear was too. What had that been about? The very idea of Sesshoumaru being afraid of anything was frightening in and of itself.

"Here's the damn clothes." Souta told her as he dropped the box on the floor in front of her. "Mom's making breakfast and she wants to know if you're gonna be eating or sleeping in. I told her I hadn't checked on you yet, but I would."

He'd bought her some time then. Not that she needed it. "Alright, thanks. Is Jii-chan up too?"

Souta snorted as he made way to the door. "Since when isn't that geezer up at the crack of dawn? Yeah, he sipping on his tea and going on about new ways to get people to the shrine. Something about a festival."

That actually sounded like fun… Kagome shook her head. "Thanks," she told her brother and shut the door behind him. Without looking at the youkai Kagome went right for the box and began opening it and pulling out clothes. "These don't fit Souta yet, but they should fit you as your bigger than he is. I'm happy I didn't have to dig my dad's old clothes out until I can get you something else. Those are really old and out of style." She pulled up on a soft blue shirt with long gray sleeves. The front of it was emblazoned with some artsy skull stuff that was really popular now. "I hope you don't mind wearing jeans; Souta doesn't do slacks unless mom forces him to wear them." She pulled out a pair of those too and then looked at him.

"Do you want to pick them out, Sesshoumaru?"

He stared at her for what seemed like a long time, thinking. His last mistress had liked to dress him as she would a doll; it had been some time since he'd been asked to choose clothes for himself.

"Sesshoumaru?"

"Bring the box here, please," he told her, feeling even that request left an odd weight on his tongue.

Still, Kagome smiled and slid the box across the floor. She watched as he slipped off the bed to sit down on the floor before it. The young woman averted her eyes until she was sure the brown container at least covered the parts of him he obviously felt no shame in showing.

Really… it's not that she hadn't seen a naked man before. But, it had been a while since her last boyfriend; being comfortable with a person in the nude took time. Also, she wasn't entirely sure if he felt ok with her ogling him, or, if that was just the curse making him more appealing to her senses—forcing him to be that way.

"The one you were holding and the jeans will do well enough," he told her without real inflection. "Are there shoes?"

"Oh, I hadn't thought about that…" she trailed off, thinking. "Do you know your size? Maybe Souta has a pair that'll fit."

"Eleven," he told her.

"Yeah, he does. I'll get them before we go anywhere." Kagome stood up and dusted nonexistent dirt off her bum. "Well, go ahead and get dressed. Then we'll go eat and face the firing squad.

"Souta's liable to find it entirely entertaining."

_At least someone would_.

* * *

**AN ::** You lucky folks got a second chapter. Go figure? Don't expect another for at least a month; my Spuffy fics needs a new chapter –grunts-.

—**Blade **


	3. Chapter Three

.

.

.

.

The Taming of the Stubborn Inuyoukai

* * *

_It's been one week since you looked at me_

_Threw your arms in the air_

_and said "You're crazy"_

_Five days since you tackled me_

_I've still got the rug burns on both my knees_

_It's been three days since the afternoon_

_You realized it's not my fault_

_not a moment too soon_

_Yesterday you'd forgiven me_

_And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry._

—_One Week - Barenaked Ladies_

* * *

**Chapter Three**| Tempestuous Inuyoukai!

It wasn't the first time he'd worn jeans, but it had been a while. The shirt itself was very comfortable, and, judging by the way the miko was staring at him appraisingly he looked adequate.

"I should have asked if you needed a shower first," he heard her say.

"It can wait."

She nodded as she slipped on her robe over her clothes. The house was cold this morning, indicating that fall was fast approaching. Her mother didn't like to turn the heat on until it was really needed; neither did her grandfather. It didn't bother her, honestly. The temp inside had to be about sixty and that was just fine by her.

She gave a sigh as they made their way out into the hall and towards the stairs. She let her aura reach out and sense where her family was; dining room and kitchen—good. Behind her she felt as Sesshoumaru stiffened and stopped; she turned. Her brow rose in question.

"…It has been some time since I felt a miko aura."

She nodded and went on.

The inuyoukai was intrigued; the ability to use such energies as a means to sense others was not difficult to do, though that she could belied at what else she could do—what she hadn't been able to do before.

"Mom, Jii-chan?" Kagome called as she just barely rounded the corner and held a hand up for Sesshoumaru to stop.

He knew he could push right through her if he wanted, but he didn't. Despite what the woman had said he still wasn't sure she would keep her word—that she wouldn't succumb to the power she had over him and swallow him in the agony he'd become so accustomed to.

"Kagome, you're up early," her mother said with a smile as she placed something on the table. "I thought you might sleep in. Are you joining us?"

"Uh, yeah… but, I need you all to sit down first. I've… got something to tell you." The urge to look down in apprehension was great, but Kagome resisted. Hearing Souta snicker under his breath made her jaw flex. Her mother didn't appear to have heard it though.

"Is something wrong?"

"Kind of… I guess it depends on your definition of 'wrong'." She bit her lip. "So, yeah, can you sit down?"

Her mother looked curious, if not a little worried as she took a seat at her usual place at the head of the table.

Kagome noted her grandfather hadn't even looked up from his morning paper while he chewed on something—eggs probably.

"So, you know that fude brush you gave me last night, Jii-chan?"

"Eh...?" he looked up, squinting at her. "Of course I do," he huffed. "What do you take me for? An idiot?"

"Of course not, Jii-chan!" she said, exasperated.

"Father," her mother scolded, looking at him. "No one thinks you're an idiot."

Souta rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, so, that brush…"

"What of it?"

Kagome wasn't sure how to say it, so she decided it might be best to just let the actions speak for themselves. She turned to Sesshoumaru and took hold of his arm. He flexed under her grip even as she gently pulled him into full view of her family.

"Who is this, Kagome?" her mother asked.

Her grandfather squinted and stared for a long while. Kagome wanted to answer her mother; in fact, she opened her mouth to do just that. But the way her grandfather was scrutinizing Sesshoumaru made her stop and snap her mouth shut.

Surely he wasn't that blind; he'd been to optometrist just last week.

"Is that the inuyoukai that was trapped in the fude?"

Kagome blinked, stunned. She let that sentence sink in… And then, "_You_ _knew?!_"

"Of course I knew." He tilted his head just so and looked down his nose at the both of them. "Why do you think I got the thing for you?" His tone said some part of him was insulted that she hadn't figured that he knew.

"Do you have any—!"

"Do I know that he's a servant youkai bound a by a curse until a woman mates with him? Of course I knew that. Again, why do you think I got the thing for you?"

Kagome was caught somewhere between wanting to throttle her grandfather or outright scream at the insanity that was the old man.

"You're twenty-one years old, girl. My son married your mother when she was just finishing her studies. I'm not going to wait around for great grandchildren until I'm dead or you finish your extended studies.

"Who knows how long it'll take you."

Souta, by this point, was laughing hysterically; the action threatened to tip his chair back in a way that could cause injury; all while his mother scolded in hushed tones, trying to get him to stop.

"Are you freakin' kidding me?!" Kagome shouted at him. She was going to kill him; she was. "Jii-chan," she breathed venomously, "most people don't get married until after school anymore. I want _a career_.

"Never mind the fact that Sesshoumaru is a youkai. What kind of sense does it make for you to want me to marry a youkai?!"

He sniffed as if totally put out. "You are a very powerful miko."

"What the hell does that even mean?!"

He sighed and rubbed a hand down his face, slapping his paper on the table. "It _means_ you're a damned handful, girl. And a mortal male simply won't do. It means I want you to be happy."

"_By buying me a love slave?!_" she shouted.

"Kami…" her mother whispered, placing a hand on her chest as a blush hit her cheeks.

"See this," he went on as if she hadn't shouted at all. "_This_ is what I mean about you being a handful. See how you've upset your poor mother?"

"_Me?_" she went on, half in a daze at his thread-bare logic and half still wanting to kill him. "I'm… this is nuts... I'm done." At once Kagome whirled out of the room, barely feeling as Sesshoumaru followed her towards the door. He stood next to her as she slipped on her shoes. She stood and reached for the handle, stopping only when he placed a hand on her arm.

Blue orbs were blazing when she met his gaze.

He visibly flinched, diverting his own, and his grip wavered and then dropped.

Kagome's chest tightened and she wondered if she'd hurt him with her anger. She still didn't understand how this whole connection thing worked, but she didn't want to hurt him because of her grandfather. She looked down. "Sorry… I just… I need some fresh air.

"You can come with me."

"…Shoes," he said softly, still not looking at her.

"Right. Sorry again." Kagome reached down and grabbed a pair of Souta's. She handed them over and waited only long enough for him to get them on and stand back up. Then she was out the door and heading to the back yard.

The sweat pants and long sleeved shirt she'd changed into kept her warm enough in the chill of the outdoors. The robe helped as well; though, she hadn't exactly planned on going outside in it.

She could feel Sesshoumaru walking just two steps behind her. It didn't bother her, but she was curious about something and needed a distraction from what her idiot grandfather had revealed to her. Subtly, she slowed her steps and waited… and then he slowed his steps. She tested it again, this time speeding her pace just so… and then he did as well.

Kagome stopped; Sesshoumaru stopped.

She turned to look at him and was not surprised when all the inuyoukai did was stare at her blankly. Her hand went to her hip and she raised a brow at him, head half cocking to the side. The expression was meant to be a question conveyed through body language; however, when he still said nothing she gave a sigh, speaking, "Why are you walking two paces behind me? You did it in the house too."

Sesshoumaru crossed his arms over his chest and looked away.

"Well?"

"Is this a command, mistress?"

"…I told you to quit calling me that," she grumbled. "And _no_…. it's not a command. You don't _have_ to tell me. I'm just… you _can_ walk next to me, you know? You're not my pet dog or something and I kinda hate that you think you have to act like it."

When he didn't say anything Kagome turned and went back to walking towards her destination. She was a little worried he wouldn't come with her, but when she felt him walking beside her a sense of relief bloomed in her chest.

_Guess it's just gonna take time_, she thought._ I'd probably be a little worried too if I'd spent four hundred years dealing with stupid controlling assholes_.

She really couldn't imagine the mighty youkai being used as a sex slave or anything else for that matter. Sesshoumaru had always possessed a commanding aura that could not be tamed. His very presence had shot something through her every time they crossed paths, even in the past. And she knew, secretly, that Inuyasha had always aspired to his level of calm and collected battle serenity. The hanyou had admitted to her once, in the quiet between them, that he wished he hadn't been born the way he was; that he'd give just about anything to have been like his brother.

After they'd patched things up… Kagome wondered if Inuyasha had ever told him that.

Probably not.

The door leading into the bone eater's well slid open with relative ease under her grip and Kagome leapt down the stairs. She could feel the inuyoukai right behind her as she reached for her weapons, skimming through the practice swords until she found one that would do. The wakizashi felt too short; a katana would be better. The o-katanas were nice once in a while, but she didn't plan on taking soldiers out via horseback anytime soon.

"Are they yours?"

Kagome jumped a she turned around, katana in hand. "Uh… yeah," she told Sesshoumaru, wondering at the scrutinizing look in his eyes. "It helps to let off steam this way sometimes," she told him as she looked down and to the side. "I'm not used to grandfather pissing me off… but, I suppose it happens." She stared at the hilt as she gripped the sheathed weapon to her chest.

Her gaze returned to his suddenly when she felt his hands on her shoulders. Gently, he rubbed circles with his thumbs. It was… comforting. "…Are you doing that thing again?"

"What thing would that be?"

"That thing where you use your emotions to make me feel better?"

"Would it help if I did?"

She opened her mouth to say she wasn't sure, but shut it when Sesshoumaru started brushing hair out of her eyes; her body softened as he smoothed his hands through her scalp and across her temples—scratching. Lethargically, her eyes shut and she sighed. "…You're really good at that."

He hummed in acceptance, but said nothing else.

Kagome shifted on her feet after a while. Despite how good it felt she needed to work the tension out of her body. "I'm going to practice." And then she pulled out of his grasp and dashed up the stairs and through the door to the main yard just between the shrine and the well house.

Letting out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding—because, apparently, that's the kind of effect he had on her—Kagome slipped off her robe and laid it out on the stony ground. Then she removed the katana from the sheathe it was contained in and stepped into the center of the yard. Her eyes closed as she took a stance, inhaled, and then exhaled a slow breath.

_Focus_.

Pink energy coiled in her body; it circulated through her veins and down her arms. All at once she felt it running along the edge of her blade. Her eyes snapped open and she wove into her forms.

Sesshoumaru leaned into the frame of the door on the well-house. His arms crossed over his chest and his lazy amber hues followed the miko as she worked on her technique. White bangs brushed along the violet-red markings that indicated what he was to a world that barely cared anymore, brushed along his lids stained in the same shade that looked more like eye shadow than what they were.

He wasn't prone to voicing his pleasure unless it suited him, much less thinking on it; it rarely did. However, he could silently confirm that there was a very distinct pleasure to be found in watching Kagome use the weapon in her hand has if it were merely an extension of her body. She practically danced, feet barely touching the ground as the magenta-brilliance coiled around them. That energy wove through her body and along the practice katana she cut the air with around her. Sometimes she executed her patterns with one hand, sometimes two. What she did was not entirely kendo, no, but something altogether hers. He half wondered if she truly had the strength to cut into another being one-handed the way he did, the way his brother did occasionally; correction—had.

The magenta coloring told him this was more than likely.

Miko, more often than naught, used their power in traditional methods: sealing and slaying youkai. He'd never seem someone use it as a youkai might use their own energy and harness it into something they could bend to their will.

She was a unique creature, his new master—mistress.

The idea felt alien to him, entirely separated. He viewed these thoughts as one might view an animal behind a pane of glass in a zoo—observant, systematic, and totally clinical.

Still… there was something clandestine about her dance…

He watched on for the entire hour she continued this bout of aggressive release. And while she was interesting, he was a youkai who was accustomed to living in his own head as of recent.

Thus, his mind wandered voluntarily.

He wondered about his former ward, as he was wont to do. The last time he'd seen Rin she'd had three hanyou pups of her own—in effect, his surrogate grandchildren. The girl had happily mated with one of his pack members; an inuyoukai who had been entirely devoted to her the moment he'd laid eyes on her.

As far he knew she was still alive and well. The last time he'd felt the spark of her youkai connection with her mate had been some thirty cycles ago…

Sesshoumaru silently lamented on how his mother had made him miss out on watching his adoptive grandchildren grow into full adulthood, how she made him miss out on taking them on their first hunt with their father, and how she'd made him miss out on watching the twins his daughter had been carrying at the time come into the world screaming and wet.

All for arrogance and pride…

His eyes focused on the miko and he was suddenly reminded of her promise to locate his devil of a mother and make her retract the curse.

He didn't believe her, and not because he thought it was impossible to accomplish; rather, he didn't believe her because eventually the other shoe would drop. She'd realize what a valuable asset he was chained and under her control. Kagome would do just as all his other masters had done before her.

It was inevitable.

* * *

"What were you thinking?"

"I'm not sure I—."

"A sex slave, father? A _youkai sex slave?_"

"It's not as bad as all that."

Kagome's mother was distraught. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest even as she clutched her breast and tried to will it to slow down. Her head was swimming as she sat adjacent to the man who'd taken her and his grandchildren in years ago. "You bought a cursed item for my baby girl. You bought a _man_ for her. You're a priest," she whispered in disbelief as if that explained it all.

The old man sighed long and hard. He was happy he'd told the boy to go to his room. He didn't need to be around to watch his mother fall apart. It reminded all too much of how she'd been all those years ago when his son…

He could recall the way she'd stood on his doorstep, tears in her eyes while the background was blanketed in the rain and the gray; the way she looked while she clutched Kagome's hand in her own—a lifeline—as her other rubbed her swollen belly. It was as though she had been trying to ease Souta's phantom pain at the loss of a father he would never meet.

"You're making a mountain out of a molehill, Ruki," he told her plainly and as if he were wiser now than he'd ever show in all the time they'd lived in his home. "The boy will be good for her. Trust me."

"How can you know that? None of this even makes sense."

"She has a choice, you know? Kagome doesn't have to mate with him. It's up to her, really. She can go on doing what she wants.

"If nothing else, the girl has a solid protector should she not be able to take care of herself; though, she's quite adept at that." He gave a snort, both proud and put out by his granddaughter's carefully constructed skill-set. His arms crossed over his chest as he sat back, straighter even, in his chair. "There's nothing for you to be upset about." He waved a hand as it mattered little, the new addition to their family.

She blinked at him owlishly. "You're saying this is somehow better than when she went back in time for weeks on end?" Her brow knit and her eyes remained doubtful even as she stared at her father-in-law.

"It is," he said as if it really were. It was.

She sighed long and hard and somehow his assurance made the wild beatings in her heart subside. "Where will he even stay? The spare room?"

"With Kagome. He cannot be more than five feet from her for very long without being put in grievous pain."

"You expect me to allow a man to stay with her in her room? A man she is not married to?"

His white brows raised high on his head at that, as if it were the strangest thing she'd ever said before. "Kagome spent weeks at a time in the past without you knowing where she went or who she was with—what dangers she encountered. And you're more worried about a youkai under her every beck and call sleeping in her room?"

"…When you put it like that it does sound rather impractical of me," she admitted softly as her shoulders slumped. Her hands were carefully folded in her lap as she sat; her eyes went to them.

He grunted. "The room she's in isn't close enough to any other for him to sleep separated from her. So, unless you want the boy bunking in the bathroom between her and Souta's room, he's going to have to stay with her.

"Besides… they'll be mated, married, soon enough."

"This has very little to do with great grandchildren, does it, Father?"

"What do you think?"

Another long sigh as her eyes drew upward to some speck on the ceiling. "I think you have too many secrets, but I know you have always done what is best for us. It's enough.

"For now."

* * *

Kagome pondered the back door to her house while she stood there and stared at it, sweat-slicked and in sore need of a shower. She knew she needed to go in, but she wasn't quite sure she wanted to face her mother or her grandfather yet; much less her brother, who was sure to jibe at her dilemma even more.

Granted, she felt better; just not good enough to go through the house and risk detection.

Kagome sighed. "Guess I'll take the window." She dropped her hand from her hip and turned towards the side alley of the shrine. Sesshoumaru was right next to her in the pass of moment, apparently taking her 'walk beside me' suggestion to heart.

"Are you planning to scale your own home?" he asked her.

"That's about the gist of it, yes." She stopped as they came to the part that was just under her window. She looked up and eyed the paned glass. "I need a shower and I'm hungry. I can do the first one here, but I think we're gonna go out for the second. Well, if you want to come with me." She looked over at him.

"I have little choice in the matter."

She frowned suddenly and her eyes down-casted briefly. "Oh, right, that whole five feet thing you mentioned… how long can you be more than five feet from me?"

"The pain begins as a dull ache almost immediately," he told her without looking at her. "Though, it does not become what I would consider painful until perhaps two hours have passed."

"That's not so bad, I guess." _At least I know I can shower in privacy_. Kagome squared her shoulders. "Alright, up I go." She focused energy in the soles of her feet, bent her knees, and then jumped. She let out an exhale as she landed on the lower secondary roof that jutted out of the shrine.

Her home had once been entirely separate from the shrine itself. But, when the renovations occurred the two were been combined into one. Now half of the wooden structure made up her home while the other half made up the public area of the shrine itself. Though, seamlessly, they looked like one building.

She blinked when she stood and Sesshoumaru was right next to her with just as much ease and lack of effort as she'd executed herself. She wasn't surprised, just taken off guard because she was focused on sliding the window open to her room.

Without a word she stepped inside, waiting for him to do the same, and then shut the window behind them both. "I'm going to rinse the sweat off. Do you want to shower first?"

"I shall do as you prefer, mis—."

"Please stop," she said once more of the title, feeling injured by it. Still, she didn't look away. She watched as he swallowed hard, face a void; the bobbing of his Adam's apple was the only indication something about her request bothered him. Feeling bold, she stepped up to him and placed a hand on his bicep. Her touch was gentle even as he stiffened under it. It took a moment for him to release that tension, and, she watched as he closed his eyes. "I want you to do what you want… not just what you think I want.

"I… I get that other people hurt you. But, I'm just not the type of person to think of someone as a possession. I can't." Her voice was soft, strong, but her chest fought with her to make it shaky and unsure.

"So... um… do you want to take a shower first?" She'd just have to keep nudging him. Eventually, he'd realize she meant what she said. Hopefully. Or maybe she'd find Inuyasha and he'd knock some sense into him. _Yeah, maybe._

He looked down at her finally, amber hues opening and locking on her own sapphire ones. Kagome didn't look away, though her breath caught just so at that the way he stared into her. _Yeah… right into me_.

There… just barely… _yes_; she could see the fire. That same fire she'd seen when he'd first looked at her last night. It wasn't a glare, no, it was as though she could see the man he'd been before hidden under carefully constructed layers. He didn't want them to see it—the aggression, the blaze of fury at what had been done to him, the passion. There was something beautiful about that and she found herself wanting to see more of it.

_I wonder…_

"Well?" she prompted as she dropped her hold on his arm. Her own two crossed over her chest and she took on a slightly haughty appearance. "Are you just trying to get me to go first because you think I smell bad?" _Don't push too much_, she told herself. _Don't wanna scare him_.

And then his eyes widened a fraction. He blinked once.

"You do, don't you?" she went on, feeling more confident in her baiting. "I mean, I know I was working pretty hard. I can't exactly help it if I sweat." Her hands went to her hips. "Just because you probably don't—."

"Are you implying that I find your scent unappealing?" he interrupted.

"Well why else would you not wanna take a shower first?"

"I never mentioned that I did not want to."

She snorted purposefully. "You didn't have to." And then she saw his jaw flex. _Good_.

"You are most certainly implying things about This Sesshoumaru that are simply not true."

"So says you." And then she turned away from him. "I think I hit the mark pretty well—." And that was about the time she found a hand had snapped over her arm; that same hand twirled her around to face a perturbed-looking youkai.

"I do not find your scent unappealing. Cease presuming what This Sesshoumaru thinks, or, does not think."

Kagome resisted the urge to smile. "Does that mean you want to take the shower first?"

A beat of a moment passed before he released her and cut his gaze from her own. "…Yes."

Briefly, she wondered if he knew what she'd done. Intelligently, she decided not to tell him.

Without saying a word she stepped over to the door, along her wall, the one that led to the bathroom she and Souta shared between their rooms. Again, he was right behind her as she slipped in. It would have been locked if her brother was in there. Thinking on it, she locked the door directly across the way that led into his room. "Alright, so towels are here," she said as she opened a cabinet and pointed, glancing back at him. "You said it's been twenty years since the last time you were in the real world, so I'm going to assume you know how to use a shower."

He nodded.

"Good. Alright, do you want different clothes or will those be fine?"

"The ones I have on will do."

"Ok then. Enjoy." With that she was out of the room and shutting the door behind her. _At least he's talking more_. When he didn't lock the door behind her she shrugged.

"I guess I'll just pick something out…" she said to herself, feeling a little bored just then and wondering where they'd go to eat. And then that made her wonder if he could hide his inuyoukai marks and pointed ears. Japanese people had a way of overlooking things… but… yeah.

_It'll probably be ok_.

* * *

The was quite the problem, he mused with mild irritation.

Quite the problem.

He simply didn't understand how this all worked. It looked far more complicated than it needed to be; however, pride dictated that he at least try to figure it out.

The inuyoukai, Lord of The Western Lands—former, stepped into the large glass and tiled enclosure and clicked the door shut behind him. Really… were large bathing rooms with equally large baths brought on by water pumped in from a hot spring not good enough anymore?

He stared on at all the knobs and buttons secretly wished for a keen ability to simply understand how something worked just by looking at it. Had showers really become so thoroughly detailed in the last twenty years?

Sesshoumaru resisted the urge to growl-sigh in frustration and began turned a knob.

And then he howled.

Water began to spray at him from several directions at once—water that was far too hot that held far more pressure than he'd been prepared for. He began to hit buttons, knobs, and cursed loudly when the water went from molten hot to freezing.

Vaguely, he heard his named being called. And then soft skin pressed against his and guided him out of the way. A female voice was cursing just as loudly as he was while he listened to tiny beeps and clicks. Finally, the water stopped.

Sesshoumaru exhaled lowly, barely repressed venomous rage in the sound. Amber orbs flashed to Kagome, who was looking at him with wide sapphire hues. He was too irritated too appreciate her nudity, and, she was apparently too surprised to blush about it—to be aroused by his own.

And somehow, that made it worse.

"This," his bit off, "is not a shower. _This_," he went on, "is a death trap." His jaw flexed as he focused on her further, eyes narrowing. "Miko," he seethed word, "why must your bathing device maintain so many buttons?"

Kagome, trying not to look mildly amused, thought he looked an awful lot like a wet dog with his mussed up long silvery hair, growling eyes, growling words, and with water rolling down his face and dripping from his points of his ears—which, were more prominent now that his hair was soaked and flat.

"_Miko_," he snapped.

She jumped. "It came with the renovations," she told him simply. "And don't be so pissy; it's not a big deal." Though, secretly she was glad he was upset enough to act like this, to forget that he should be afraid… thought that he should be, anyway.

He growled again and stepped further into her space.

Kagome moved until her back was plastered against the tile wall.

"You have done this intentionally to This Sesshoumaru," he accused her.

"I did not!" Kagome said in disbelief, pushing off the wall just enough. Her eyes were wide with it, her mouth wide. He couldn't think that! "How was I supposed to know you didn't know how to use it?!"

"Stop shouting," he said next. "This is your fault, not mine. I wanted a bath, not to be cooked and frozen all in the same passage of time."

"Don't tell me what to do!" she bit back, hands on her hips. Her eyes narrowed. "It's not my fault you couldn't figure it, Oh Great Lord of The Western Lands!"

His eyes blazed at her insult. He placed a hand on the wall behind her, closing in a glaring. "Hold your tongue! Nothing is beyond my scope of understanding. Your shower is simply too imbecilic in the additional trappings it does not require."

"Oh, what_ever_," she huffed, trying not to squirm under his scrutiny and close proximity. "You just don't want to admit that great and mighty inuyoukai couldn't figure out a simple piece of human technology."

"Nothing," he emphasized, glowering, "is beyond me."

"Oh, really?" she asked airily with defiance as she held up a hand. "Well then, Great Lord, enlighten me." She waved it at the knobs. "Figure it out. The sooner you do the sooner you can shower, I can, and we can both go eat."

He stared at her for a time, unwilling to admit defeat, all the while trying to will that smug expression off her face. With angry breath he shoved off the wall and broke the spell of their locked gazes to stare at the knobs and buttons.

Really, it would take a miracle for him to figure this out, or, a booklet with diagrams on just how to work this travesty that was entirely unneeded. If he ever got out of this situation and maintained a residence of his own the shower would be simple, the bath simpler, and nothing would cause him so much vexation.

"Ready to give up already?" she chided him.

"Silence."

Kagome chuckled even when he growled at her for that. "Oh, just admit it and I'll show you how it works. C'mon. It's not that big a deal."

He said nothing and Kagome waited. She crossed her arms over her chest and moved to lean back into the tiled wall. She observed him curiously, idly ogling and doing her best not to get turned on. But, she figured even if she did the youkai was probably too distracted and focused to notice.

Not that it would be a bad thing if he did notice.

It should probably bother her that she was naked as well, but anger kinda overrid that embarrassment. Besides, he didn't appear put off by his own nudity, and, there was something about being around person who lacked all shame that put her at ease. It was akin to going to a costume party; you felt fine all dorked up because everyone else was in costume. But, if you'd been the only one to show up in some overdone outfit… well, it'd feel silly.

He didn't feel silly, so she didn't.

Seemed to make sense.

That didn't stop her from thinking it'd be nice if they did something else in the shower besides butt heads while he denied understanding how it worked. And he really was focused. Actually, it looked more like he was glaring at the panel of knobs and buttons rather than trying to figure out—as if just by doing so would make it function properly and work _for_ him without any effort on his part.

"Turn it on, Miko."

"I'm sorry?"

"Turn it on so that I might bathe."

Kagome's mouth curved a smile and mirth danced in her eyes as she stepped over towards the controls. "I thought you were going to figure it out."

"This Sesshoumaru has. I will allow you to turn it on and we will bathe together."

"We will?"

"Yes."

"And what makes you think This Kagome will do either of those things?" Mirth was still dancing in her eyes when his fiery amber gaze met hers.

"Because," he punctuated, "you are aroused."

And really, that was all that needed to be said about _that_.

* * *

**AN ::** I somehow managed to put myself two chapters ahead of the posted chapter. Which, is awesome. It means you guys will get updates the first of the month every month along with my Naruto readers keeping up with Vicissitude. Well, as long as nothing strange happens…

_Cheers!_

—**Blade **


	4. Chapter Four

.

.

.

.

The Taming of the Stubborn Inuyoukai

* * *

_It's been one week since you looked at me_

_Threw your arms in the air_

_and said "You're crazy"_

_Five days since you tackled me_

_I've still got the rug burns on both my knees_

_It's been three days since the afternoon_

_You realized it's not my fault_

_not a moment too soon_

_Yesterday you'd forgiven me_

_And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry._

—_One Week - Barenaked Ladies_

* * *

**Chapter Four**|Shower Hugs

There was once a time when Sesshoumaru wasn't very good at sex; contrary to rumors from yokai females during a time in which Rin had been a tumbling ball of orange and black, speaking about herself in third person, he had not partaken of such pleasures… not often, at any rate. It wasn't important, and he'd refused to be driven by the desires familiar to his kind—desires that were stronger than they were for humans. When the heat came around it was a messy, quick, and selfish affair. He took someone willing and cared very little for their own release beyond what it took to give it to them, gain his own, and be done with it.

And the whys were simple enough to answer: he didn't like losing control. Sex more than implied you lose control; sometimes it implied you gave that control to someone else. He enjoyed neither even if it was difficult not to enjoy all the other things that went along with it: soft skin under his hands, nails biting into his back, velvet lips relenting and fighting against his own, the smell of arousal that plunged him further into the depths of want, sounds that urged him on to keep going, and the ache that boiled over into climax when it reached its end.

He liked all of that; he just hadn't liked the implied vulnerabilities.

And maybe that was part of the reason why he hadn't wanted to mate; perhaps it had been another reason he hadn't considered entirely. For, after the mating his mother would bother him to give him grandchildren, heirs. It was course of things; the natural order of things.

But, Sesshoumaru had spent the better part of over four hundred years in service to others. The very nature of his confinement made him want to give them pleasure. It wasn't entirely instinctual, but when he felt that want it became desire for him. And he'd fought against it before for such a long time, enduring the pain of emotions whoever held his leash sent through the connection a purpose. I wasn't that he was magiced to want sex, to find release and help his masters find it; it was that he'd felt that need in Kagome. It was habit, brought on by years of punishment for not acting—for not seeing to that want—need. That was why he reacted now.

Over time he's grown used to being treated this way, to reacting this way to those whom he was tethered to. There was no loss of pride; he had not a lot of it to spare anyway, not when he was but a mere plaything. What little he did have, however, he used to separate himself from many of the ordeals he endured—to go into the void.

And yet he found himself doing the exact opposite with his brother's former love interest. He'd done as much the night before because of the aggression, the desire, that had built up over the inability to act on the heat for twenty years. Now, he blamed her kind nature, the way she'd bit her lip and laughed at him with her blue eyes before he'd pounced on her after she'd turned on the shower. He blamed the way she was so easy going and had told him to be himself. He blamed the lack of a hidden agenda in her eyes, the one he hadn't seen in the others—the one he'd learned to spot.

She didn't have it.

And that scared him more, the lack of proof telling him she would change her mind.

He'd heard it before; the kind ones were the worst. The kind ones started off kind, started off sweet, nice, telling him they would never use him like an object… never treat him as anything other than a person. But, the agenda was there… always there. Somewhere on the cusp of their mind they wondered… what if I…

And it wore off, the desire to be nice when they knew they didn't have to. Absolute power corrupted absolutely. It always did. And the hidden agenda always told him from the beginning—the dark spot in their eyes—that they would give into that desire because no one would stop them. There was no consequence.

But, she didn't have it.

He pushed it from his mind, sending it away as if he couldn't bear to have knowledge of that fact; he pushed it away and pressed his lips into hers further, slanting his face to make it deeper with a groan. He pressed her back into the shower's tiled side wall and lifted her by her thighs, pulling her up so he could settle between her legs.

She gasped against his mouth and wrapped her arms around his neck; that gasp was mirrored in its escape from his own mouth as his length slid along her folds.

"You know…" she murmured when he pulled away from her mouth, when his lips trailed along her jaw and to her neck—sucking, nipping, "you don't have to do this everytime I get horny."

"Are you asking me to stop…?" he whispered against her ear, voice husky, stilling all of his actions save for the way his hips pressed forward and once again made that hardness of his grind against her soft core.

He pulled back and watched as she bit her lip, as her head lulled back against the wall behind her. "Uh… no…" she managed, visibly swallowing as her eyes closed. "I'm just saying you don't _have_ to. I'm not a nympho…

"Though… if this keeps up with you, I might very well find myself joining a new club."

And then he smirked, pleased with himself at her response. Kagome wasn't the first to tell him as much, though he'd never heard it in such an unusually innocent and honest manner before. Her variation on language was amusing if nothing else.

"Then I shall continue," he told her just before taking her lips with his own again. And he did, grinding and sliding his cock against her folds over and over until she was shaking for it, wanting for it, until her nails were digging into his scalp and half tugging on his hair. He did so until he was growling into her mouth, her ear, and until his claws were damn near biting to draw blood from her body as they pressed into her thighs.

They could both find release like this; it wouldn't be hard to come from such an ongoing tease. But, he wanted to feel the heat of her enfolding him, surrounding him.

"Sess…" she began, and then cried out as he shifted his footing and plunged into her.

He desire was so great at that moment he found images filtering into his mind of doing more than fucking her against a shower wall. He saw other ways of taking her—of her taking him, other ways to torment them both into oblivion, and so many more things than brought a want in him to keep her locked up in her room all day long.

"Fuck… that's good… don't stop," she grunted in his ear brokenly, holding into him and trying to move with him. "Harder," she commanded with a soft snap, falling into that mutual desire with him—swept away with the arousal.

He obliged her, was more than happy to. His jaw flexed and he pressed his forehead into the wall behind her. His hips thrust harder and skin slapped against skin. Her breath, his, came short as her legs locked around him tighter. It wasn't about the exertion for either of them, he knew; rather, it had everything to do with being so close to that peak. And she wanted it so badly, he could sense it in the way her nails tore across the flesh of his shoulders and in how she jerked and tried to grind against him.

His blood was on fire as he twisted his hips and ground his pelvic bone into her clitoris. Every cry she shouted after then, every shout of his name under the mollifying effect of the shower running, urged him further.

He was close… so close…

"Kagome…" he breathed against her neck, once again allowing his fangs to scrape as they had last night. He sucked, lapped, nipped. The canines hurt with the desire to claim her, to make her his—something he blamed on his mother's spell because they'd never hurt before being bound to the fude when he copulated.

"Yes, I…" she spoke as he head lulled back and she bore her neck to his mouth further.

It was enough, he thought as he sunk down on her flesh, piercing it as he drove into her over and over again. It sated the pain just enough, made it ebb well enough despite not being what he really needed it to be—a mating claim. But, that would require her acceptance and reciprocation.

And then she tightened around him at the pleasure his bite caused them; her whole body seized up and trembled. Her thighs locked against him to the point of near-pain. It almost stopped him from moving for fear of hurting her. Though, he managed enough friction to find oblivion himself, crying out near the end of her own vocal echoes of pleasure.

And after that all he could hear was their mutual breaths sometimes echoing in tandem, the roar of the shower, and sucking lull of water down the drain behind them. Carefully, he withdrew from her neck and then sucked, lapped, at the broken skin. He rumbled with something akin to a growl, maybe a purr; it was a sound of contentment and pleasure he couldn't quite control once it made itself known. But, he didn't imagine Kagome would laugh at him over it; perhaps when the shine wore off she would, but not now.

Her legs slid from his hips as he pulled away from her heat. Hands settled on her waist as he made sure to steady her. When her own arms went around his waist and she sighed he did not mind the affection. Her cheek on his chest made him draw a hand upward; it went to her head and stroked slowly, rolling over wet black hair.

"That was unexpected; nice, but unexpected." She squeezed once, thinking even as she spoke it. She supposed she meant more than just the sex with that statement, not that he really needed to know. It was going to take her a little while to come to grips with the fact that she had a youkai, Sesshoumaru of all people, at her literal beck and call. But, for some reason, it didn't take her long to adjust to this new part of their relationship… even if she couldn't quite believe it was happening. She knew it wasn't a dream, had never been, but if you'd asked her when she was fifteen if she ever imagined doing this at twenty-one with him of all people? Kagome probably would have laughed in your face; that is, if she hadn't been too busy blushing at the implication.

Even at fifteen she'd thought the inuyoukai seriously edible. But, her fifteen year-old self would have never voiced that. Depending on the company she still wouldn't voice it.

But, there wasn't much point in being too shy when he'd essentially screwed her brains out in less than twenty-four hours. Well, not at least when they were like this and no one else was around, when he wasn't pushing her away or giving her a dressing down with his eyes. This Sesshoumaru… he felt content just to hold her after what they'd done. So… surreal. Nice, but surreal.

…and the not-purr noises were nice too.

Whatever they were.

* * *

He'd agreed to the beanie, for which she was glad. The weather was cold enough that it wouldn't seem weird for him to have it on. It covered enough of his ears that she wouldn't have to worry about questions. The markings on his face were enough; people would think he was in some weird band, cosplaying, or something else. She would have thought that his mother would have been thoughtful enough to have given him a way to hide what made him appear as a daiyoukai of the inu; however, it occurred to her that when his mother had enacted the curse there's been little need for him to hide what he was. She couldn't have possibly foreseen what the world would become, how many people there'd be.

Speaking of which, she mulled as she walked side by side down the sidewalk with Sesshoumaru, she needed to figure out a way to locate the woman. Up until now all of her searches for the swords had essentially left her with nothing to show for. And now that Sesshoumaru had told her that Inuyasha was still out there somewhere it stood to reason that he'd kept his Tessaiga. She'd been wasting her time if one didn't count all the things she'd learned, things she would have been better off knowing when she was fifteen and traversing all over the feudal era like it was one big picnic.

How had she not died? Kami, it was a miracle when one considered how stubborn and stupid Inuyasha had been.

But, if she couldn't find them by searching for sword collectors… then how did she expect to find her otherwise? She needed to do some serious plotting with her new house guest.

"You said you can sometimes sense the others?" she asked, breaking the comfortable silence as she opened the door to her favorite café. They both stepped in and he met her gaze.

"When they allow their youki to be felt, yes. It is rare and fleeting, but I can." He stopped next to her as she waited in front of a podium.

Kagome opened her mouth to say something else, but a waitress came up.

"Just two?"

"Yes, thank you," Kagome replied.

The waitress smiled brightly. "This way. We've got two booths left for the breakfast crowd. Coffee? Or you need some time to think on drinks?"

The miko took a seat, pulling off her jacket while Sesshoumaru took his place across from her. "Uh, yeah, defo on the coffee. Make it a café latte with soy? No extras.

"What about you, Sesshoumaru?"

"A coffee will be fine."

The waitress set the menus on the table, one in front of each of them. "You got it. Be back in ten or so." She flashed a grin and then left.

She had to tell herself he didn't look silly in that beanie given what she knew of Sesshoumaru in the past. It wasn't that it was silly; it wouldn't have been if she hadn't known all she knew of him from the feudal era. It just would have been some guy wearing a beanie. But, he wasn't. Still, she kept the inner silly smile to herself, focusing more on what she needed to know. "Alright… so they can hide it?" She frowned and leaned back in the high-backed booth. Her blue eyes darted upward and she tapped her chin with her pointer finger. The other arm settled under her sweater-covered chest. "What about scent?"

Sesshoumaru gave a sigh and crossed his arms over his chest as he regarded her. "There are many scents in Japan now, not all of them kind to the nose of a youkai. It masks what was natural, overpowering almost everything else.

"I can follow a scent as I once did, but it's easier to lose it if others become too overpowering."

"Have you never tried to find them before?"

"None of my masters allowed me to when I asked. Eventually, I stopped asking altogether." He didn't know why he admitted the last bit; it was too honest without being forced to tell it.

But Kagome didn't appear to dwell on it beyond the pang on hurt he barely saw in her eyes. He could feel the empathy she had for him almost immediately. Soon, he realized, he would have to teach her how to block her emotions from him. It didn't hurt him unless she directed them at him purposefully—anger among others, but he wasn't sure he enjoyed knowing exactly how she felt all the time.

"Mmmm…" she hummed instead, biting her lower lip and she let her arms settle on the table. She was looking at some spot on near her arms, her eyes narrowing in her ponderings. "Well, what if we tried finding them that way? Scent or sensing the youki? We can team up on the last one, now that I know they're probably in Japan still."

"We can certainly try," he agreed, unwilling to get his hopes up. It was a long held belief of his that his mother had simply washed her hands of him, given up all desire for his return. He wondered if she was disgusted by him now, thinking him a failure, or, eternally too stubborn to bend to her wishes.

Kagome must have felt something in him, because her eyes took on this look of sorrowful empathy and she reached out to take his hand on the table in her own. He let her soft fingers curl around his palm, he let both sets do that when her other reached out. He didn't look away from her indigo gaze as she squeezed and offered a smile. "We'll find them," she whispered. "We'll find them and fix this. I promise. Even if you don't believe me, I promise."

He didn't, but he appreciated her sentiment regardless.

"Here ya go, one coffee and a café latte," their waitress said as she suddenly appeared.

Kagome, as if suddenly realizing where they were, released him with briefly wide eyes and jerked her hands back. She tucked them into her lap and blushed. Blue eyes darted downward. "Thank you," she said loud enough to heard, but with a quiet nonetheless.

The waitress smiled as she set the mugs down. "Do you know what you'd like?"

"I'll the breakfast sushi special," she told her.

"And you?" the woman asked Sesshoumaru.

"The same."

"You sure?" Kagome asked, blinking at him. "It's a little different from traditional sushi."

"Is there fish in it?"

"Well…. yeah. But they put eggs and stuff in too; bacon. It's a little Americanized."

"This Sesshoumaru will be fine with it then."

The waitress raised a brow at him before shrugging and then jotting it down on her pad. "Anything else?"

"Two miso soups," Kagome told her. "That'll do it though."

"Alright, shouldn't be longer than fifteen or twenty minutes." And then she was gone again, tucking the little pad in her apron.

Ok, so it really didn't matter how downright naughty Sesshoumaru made her feel behind closed doors, how perfectly fine he made her feel being so confident and sexy; at the end of the day she was still a pretty typical Japanese girl who didn't deal with public displays of affection really well; which, was probably good. Her friends came to this café; she didn't need them knowing about her newest roommate. It was bad enough Eri and the others had met Inuyasha years ago by accident.

She shook her head and slapped her cheeks a few times, earning her a quirked brow from the inuyoukai. She frowned at him pointedly and the just stuck her tongue out at him. There was a twinkle in his eyes—which, was odd—but nothing more. "Alright," she went on. "so, back to business. I've got work tomorrow and the day after. But, I have the one after that off. We can make a day of it and go youkai-hunting."

"Work…?" he questioned. "I thought you were a student based on the argument you had with your grandfather."

Kagome frowned. "Well, yeah, but I've got a job working in the lower tiers of my field already because I've got a bachelors and did some intern work during my AA. I was pretty lucky…" She blinked as it dawned on her that he'd have to come to work with her. "Uh… so you're gonna have to be that weird tattoo thing on me all day…"

"Unless you insist on leaving me behind."

"Big no on that," she answered, frowning again. "Just make sure no one sees you. Do I need to feed you or anything while you're like that? What about going to the bathroom?"

His face continued to give nothing away. "While I am in that form there is a lack of need for anything. You should, however, know that I am able to speak in your mind and you in mine while I am."

That made her worry a little. "Like… you'll be able to read my thoughts…?"

"No, but if you talk to me directly and with intent I will hear you."

"Oh, ok, good." That was a relief. "You're alright with going on a hunting trip three days from now?"

"I will go where you go. If you want to search for youkai on your next day off I will have to go with you unless you order me to stay."

"Which you know I won't do." She snorted with a smile. On the inside she knew he didn't think they'd find them. And really… could she blame him? She hadn't lived through it, but, had she, she probably would have wanted to kill herself. She wasn't sure she'd have been sane. How was he? Was he? "So…" she began with her next round of questioning, "you never answered my one question before. But, if you don't want to, it's ok."

"Which was?"

Her eyes were downcast and the pointer finger on one hand traced circles into the table. "Well… about you being a sex slave…" she whispered, not wanting anyone to hear even in the busy and loud café. "I mean… is there something about the spell that makes you…" she trailed off, hoping he would get it. The blush that was rising to her features because she was asking something so personal in a public place was enough.

And then there was this quiet for a time and she wondered if there had been a reason why he hadn't told her before. It made her look up at him to see if he was upset. He didn't look at different than he had before, really. She did blink as he got up though and came to her side of the booth. Kagome instantly scooted over so he would have room; she grabbed her coat and stuffed it between herself and the wall to her left.

"Um…"

"I assumed you didn't want this spoken of loudly," he told her as he placed his hands on the table, interlinking them. "You feelings hinted as much."

"Oh."

"To begin with," he started with his tone lowered several levels, "I am not programmed to be a 'sex slave', as you call it, by the spell my mother cast. That programming has everything to do with what I feel from my master, and, with what punishment I have endured if I did not attend to the needs which I felt." He felt detached telling her, separated from it all. That's how he had to be. And really, he was used to it, but he wasn't. No one had ever asked him why he did it. They all assumed after the first two or three masters beat it into him that he was bespelled to be a sex slave—that he had to be.

And those rare moments he didn't react quickly enough they made gave him the bite of pain he loathed and had grown accustomed to.

"So… you do it because…"

"I am accustomed to it," he finished for her. "It's simply the way it is, miko."

Her eyes shot to his with such force that he looked at her, amber meeting blue. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing… it's just…" she started, smiling slowly, softly, "…that's the first time you've called me something other than mistress when you weren't all pissed off, or, you know… doing _something else_."

He felt that she was truly happy for it. She was, he realized. It made her beyond happy that he had done something so simple as to call her miko. He was half tempted to call her Kagome, just as she was hinting he'd called her during their act in the shower, just to see what that would cause her to feel; already, he was reconsidering that he would explain to her how to block her emotions from him.

It was something to think about.


	5. Chapter Five

.

.

.

.

The Taming of the Stubborn Inuyoukai

* * *

_It's been one week since you looked at me_

_Threw your arms in the air_

_and said "You're crazy"_

_Five days since you tackled me_

_I've still got the rug burns on both my knees_

_It's been three days since the afternoon_

_You realized it's not my fault_

_not a moment too soon_

_Yesterday you'd forgiven me_

_And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry._

—_One Week - Barenaked Ladies_

* * *

**Chapter Five**|Real Talk

When Kagome finally came home it was after supper and quite dark outside. She and Sesshoumaru had eaten elsewhere so that she could prolong returning as long as possible; at least, as long as it took for her family to eat so she wouldn't be forced to sit at the same table as her grandfather. But, being the responsible individual she was, she had sent a text to her mother informing her so she wouldn't worry. Of course, the return text had clearly indicated, however subversively, that they were going to talk. And Kagome wasn't worried, but her mother could be decidingly motivating she wanted to be. Kagome was going to have to hold her ground once she explained Sesshoumaru had to sleep in the same room with her, and she didn't want to fight with her. She's rarely ever fought with her mother; she couldn't remember fighting with her since she'd been a little girl trying to convince her she just had to have that stupid thing in the store… or whatever.

Truth be told, her father's death had come for her at a young age, and it'd taken a toll on the whole family; a consequence for Kagome had been maturing. Arguing with her mother hadn't been dire even while she'd been so small; it was hard to justify doing so to a woman who tried to hide her tears at night when you got up to get a glass of water. Why would you ever want to upset such a person? Kagome, thankfully, had had the intuitiveness to know better. She'd taken to dealing with Souta as he grew more often than she probably should have just to give her mother time to breathe.

Her mother wasn't weak and broken by any means, but it had taken her years to recover from losing Kagome's father.

Maybe that's why it had come so naturally for her to mother Shippo, to harp on Inuyasha even when her mother had rarely harped on her or her brother more than what was expected—and always in that soft voice that firmly implored they mind themselves.

She shook these thoughts away as she stepped up to the front door and gave a sigh. Blue eyes looked over at Sesshoumaru next to her. He met her gaze with something akin to curiosity, as if knowing she was going to ask him something; he probably did, given that he could sense her emotions.

"I've got to have a talk with my mother. I know you can't be away from me for long… but it shouldn't take more than an hour, I hope. Is that alright? Or, would you rather be in your tattoo form?"

"I can wait in your room. If it takes longer than two hours I will endure it."

Kagome frowned. "It won't." When he didn't say anything she refrained from sighing and opened the door. She let Sesshoumaru shut it behind them both as she moved to take off her shoes.

"Kagome?" she heard from the kitchen.

"I just got home!" she called back, glancing at Sesshoumaru. He'd already slipped his shoes off—Souta's—and gave her a nod before moving towards the stairs and departing. She hadn't expected him to slink off, as if avoiding her mother, but it did make things easier… she guessed.

"Come in here once your shoes are off," she called back just as Kagome moved to do that very thing.

The miko was glad to see no one else was in the kitchen, the dining room behind it, but her mother. She offered her a tentative smile as she took a seat just adjacent to the head of the table where the woman was, right to her right side. She clasped her hands in front of her, got comfortable, and took a deep breath in before speaking and let it out. Really, she was unsure of what awaited her for this… talk. But, she at least wanted to air out her behavior. "Sorry about this morning… I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not sure it's entirely your fault, truth be told. But, apology accepted." She smiled back briefly. "Are you alright?"

Kagome nodded, not surprised she'd asked. She knew this wasn't just about her well-being, though that was just how her mother was. "Yeah, I think so. Um… are you ok?"

The older woman sighed long and hard, but her gaze didn't leave her daughter's. "I'm surprised, a little shocked, and doing the best I can to adapt. But, I believe I'm alright. Given the nature of this situation, I'm sure it could be much worse.

"I suppose I imagined this whole youkai business was over with when the well sealed. This doesn't mean you have to go back, doesn't?"

"No, no," Kagome said, shaking her head. "No going back. That's over with, I promise."

"Good." She breathed a sigh of relief, palm flat on her chest as her eyes shut with the action. "I'm not sure I could go through that again. I know you didn't see it… but, it was very difficult for me to watch you go back over and over again… to have no way of knowing if you'd come back, if you'd…"

Kagome took her mother's hand then, squeezing it when her mother clasped it back. "I—."

"I understand it was something you had to do," she interrupted. "A mother's desire to protect her children weighs very little when it comes to the greater good, when it comes to matters such as destiny and fate. But, you have no idea how happy I was when it was over."

Kagome nodded, wondering how she'd never noticed how hard it had been for her mother when it had been so easy to see her pain when her father had died. Perhaps Kagome had been too caught up in her adventures, the drama; perhaps it was because she'd been gone for such long stretches at time that she hadn't had time to see how it wore on her. Souta, for his part, might not have seen it at all; if he had, he'd never said anything to her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know…" the younger woman whispered as she looked down at their joined hands.

"It's alright," she said with a brief smile, one that was full of tenderness and honesty. "This still can't be easy for you. You've suddenly been shoved into an awkward situation with a man you don't even know."

"Oh, but I do know him!" Kagome blurted.

"You do…? But…" She blinked a few times.

It occurred to Kagome just then how much about her time in the past she'd never told her mother about. When she'd come back from the feudal era she'd been heartbroken; loving Inuyasha had been a beautiful, wonderful, and fulfilling experience. All she'd ever wanted for him was to be happy. So… when she'd made the unselfish wish for his happiness… it had backfired on her, in a way. Kikyou was given new life, the soul they shared separated and completed, and the hanyou had made his choice. She'd been happy for him, Kagome still was. When you loved someone unconditionally it was natural, however painful, to let them go if that's what you had to do.

Sango had been furious, feeling all the things Kagome refused to feel at the time—all the things she'd allowed herself to feel once she was safe and tucked away at home in her room; it was a place she wasn't expected to smile or pretend she was alright.

She was ok now; she'd moved on and been with other men. In fact there'd been that one littler experiment with Eri when they'd been very drunk… So, yeah, six years gave her time to move on and not hurt anymore. She didn't hurt now. It didn't mean she hadn't loved him; it just meant enough time had passed that she was ok looking back on it fondly.

But, the point was… she'd been so torn up about it at the time that she'd hadn't talked to her mother about it. Sure, when she'd come back and caught up on homework there was a minute here or there to tell her what she'd been up to, but nothing really deep per se. And as time when on it never came up again, weirdly enough.

"Yeah," she started as he pulled her hands back and laid one arm over the other on the table. "Sesshoumaru is Inuyasha's half-brother. We met in the past a few times, fought a few enemies together, that kind of thing." Her mother didn't need to know he'd tried to kill her once. Ha, yeah, no.

Her mother narrowed her eyes, processing this information. "So… that youkai… he's well over five hundred years old?"

Kagome nodded slowly, not sure where her mother was going with this.

"Alright…" she allowed slowly. "I think I can handle that. I suppose it's easier given that he doesn't look a day over nineteen."

Kagome laughed softly, understanding. She'd never put much thought into it, but she supposed her mother was right. Sesshoumaru had always looked young, barely older than his brother. It would be above kind to say he looked twenty-five; at Kagome's fifteen, he'd looked more like a sixteen year-old. Perhaps five hundred years had added another three years to his near ageless appearance. Which, was good; Kagome certainly didn't want to look like a cougar at twenty-one. She could see just the kind of grin Eri would give her for nabbing a guy younger than her brother.

Yeah, no thanks.

"I want you to know I spoke to your grandfather," her mother went on. "He explained to me some of the circumstances surrounding this… situation." Her lips half twitched into a frown. "I'm not happy about it, given that you're not married to Sesshoumaru-san, but, I understand why he needs to stay in your room with you.

"I'm also not stupid either," she added. "Were it not for the fact that I love your grandfather very much for all he's done for us, trust him in ways many people wouldn't trust their in-laws… I'd be hard pressed not to knock him into next week with something blunt and heavy over this little fiasco."

Despite the seriousness of the conversation, Kagome couldn't help but stifle a laugh—nearly snorting. It was hard to imagine her mother doing harm to anyone, much less her grandfather. Perhaps even she had her limits when it came to calmed serenity.

Her mother smiled at the grin Kagome couldn't hold in.

"He's not a bad guy, mom," Kagome felt the need to tell her. "He's just been dealt a really bad card. And as messed up as it is, I'm kinda glad it happened. I might have a chance of finding my friends this way. I know Miroku and Sango are gone… but, I want to see Shippo again—Inuyasha too."

"I understand," she told her. "But, you mean to tell me he wasn't like this in the past?"

"No, not at all." Kagome shook her head. "His mother did this to him because he wouldn't mate and produce heirs for the Western Lands. I guess that'd be the western part of Japan now…" she explained poorly. "He's stuck like this until whoever he's in service to takes him on as a life partner—marries him, basically. Well, in youkai terms."

"His own mother?" she asked in disbelief. "His own mother turned him into property?" She stared at Kagome for a moment. "Horrible. I would never do that you or Souta, certainly not to force you into marriage. That is, if I had the ability to."

"It's pretty messed up. I'm not happy with the woman and I really wonder what Inuyasha thought of it all. I doubt he agreed to it. According to Sesshoumaru they were all on really good terms before he got stuck this way.

"I plan on trying to find her since Sesshoumaru thinks they're in Japan still. I'm going to make her break this spell, curse, whatever it is." Kagome sighed. "But, um, I want you to know I really appreciate you being so great about this. I know you've put up with some crazy stuff before… what with my trips into the past…

"And you're right, I didn't know how hard it was for you. I was too caught up to see it. I just always assumed you took everything in stride like some great serene angel of mercy or something."

Her mother laughed softly, covering her mouth with her hand as her eyes half shut. "I never imagined I was that bad."

Kagome grinned. "Well, I don't think it's bad. But, yeah, thanks. I do appreciate it."

The older woman nodded. "I believe it's a mother's job to take a number of things in stride. When her children have to do something she can't protect or stop them from doing, the best thing for her to do is support them.

"I will _always_ support you, Kagome."

It was then Kagome hugged her, wishing that Sesshoumaru's mother was more like her own. But then, she supposed she wouldn't have the chance to see her friends again—maybe—if the woman was.

After a long moment she pulled back and let the older woman press a kiss to her forehead. "I'm going to go to bed. It's getting to be that time and I've got work early tomorrow."

"Sleep well."

With and a final hug Kagome was off to her room. She was kind of sad she hadn't got to spend any time with Souta today, but she figured he'd forgive her given what had happened. Kagome would just have to find a way to make it up to him later; maybe she'd take him out to eat next week; too bad she'd blown a chunk of her pay eating out and avoiding her grandfather at home today.

When she finally made it into her room it was to the sight of Sesshoumaru sitting on her bed and still in the clothes he'd worn out for the day. She noticed her room had been tidied up; knowing that her mother never came in here anymore to do such tasks she could only come to the conclusion that her new resident had done it.

"Uh… thanks for cleaning up…" she said with some surprise as she met his gaze.

"There was little else to do."

"You can always read my books if you want." She pointed to the shelving above her desk. "Most of them are text books I've kept and nonfiction, but I've got a handful that aren't.

"You should also know you're free to use the TV or anything else in the house without asking anyone. If you get hungry or whatever and it's not supper or breakfast you can make it yourself."

He nodded. "Are you going to bed?"

"Yeah, we've got an early morning tomorrow," she told him as she went to dresser along the wall with the door. She pulled out a few items. "I'm going to change in the bathroom. You can grab whatever out of the box Souta brought in. I think there's a few PJ sets.

"We are going to have to go shopping soon though." She shut the drawer and faced him. "I think I can bribe my mother into giving me enough to get you a week's worth of clothes." It would require Kagome dipping into her savings; it was money she'd accumulated to eventually buy her own place. The younger Higurashi had made her mother gatekeeper for the stash, but she knew she'd make an exception for this. Sesshoumaru couldn't go around wearing her brother's stuff.

"If such actions suit you."

She had half a mind to once again tell him he had a say in the matter, but decided she wasn't up for the debate on humility and submission. She needed sleep. When she got out of the bathroom, changed and ready for bed, she was happy to see he'd slipped on some flannel pants with an abstract print on them.

She felt his eyes on her as she pulled back the bedding and turned on the light next to her nightstand. They were still on her as she moved across the room and switched off the overhead fixture.

"Is this Sesshoumaru sleeping with you, miko?"

"He is," she replied. "Unless you'd rather sleep on the floor. I'd prefer you didn't. My bed's big enough for the both of us." Deep down though… she felt apprehensive about sharing her bed with him. She wasn't afraid of the inuyoukai, but she wasn't used to him yet. The only time she'd ever shared a bed with someone was when she'd had a long-standing boyfriend. That took time; time for the benefit of her own comfort wasn't a luxury she had; it wasn't one he had. But, she wasn't about to force him to sleep on the hardwood just so it'd be easier for her. She wasn't that cruel. The floor got damned cold at night.

He nodded again, eyes shutting with the action before he stood up. By then she'd already slipped into bed. Her hand was poised on the lamp's switch as she waited for him to get in as well. She clicked it off; moments later she felt him press up behind her and curl his arms around her—his front to her back, his leg between her two, and his mouth against the back of her neck burrowing in her hair.

She stiffened for a brief moment, wondering if she should tell him he didn't have to be so close. But, once she heard that sound again, that not-purring purring, she decided to let it go. He was comfortable, right? That sound had to mean he was happy on some level. Knowing what he'd been through…

…she didn't have the heart to make him think, for even a second, that he shouldn't be right where he was.

* * *

The next day found Kagome at work pouring over several stacks of paperwork she'd rather have nothing to do with at all. Once again, her boss had delegated her to desk duty, to sifting through reports and editing work on his colleagues'—her peers'—findings. She'd much rather be opening that new shipment with the rest of them, pulling back the packing and inspecting the artifacts from the dig site in northern Japan. She knew there were at least twenty new weapons to look over and study, and, she was sure she could come up with a few theories on just how old they were by looking at them.

Stupid paperwork; stupid boss.

The shipment housed other things from the past, but Kagome had been hired specifically because she knew ancient weapons better than most people ten years her senior. Her boss, Dr. Himura, was in the same field. She half wondered if the asshole was intimidated by her knowledge; she wouldn't have been surprised, at any rate.

_Jerkface_.

"Higurashi-san," she heard to her right.

The sound of her name brought her out of her stupor; it caused her blink and nearly jump in reaction. Blue eyes shot to the very man she'd been thinking of; just barely, she took in his coal eyes, dark hair, and half tanned-skin. He wasn't ugly; Kagome had actually thought him fairly handsome in that Indiana Jones archaeologist kind of way when they'd first met. He always wore white dress shirts with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and black slacks with a simple belt—sometimes khakis. But, the shine had quickly worn off when she realized just what a complete prick he was. She didn't want to get fired, so it was natural she found herself not complaining about whatever agonizing work he shoved at her like an intern.

"Yes, Himura-sensei?" she replied, trying to keep the reluctant sigh out of her voice.

He dropped a thick file on her desk. "Make sure you go through that and have it on my desk by the end of the day. I want the usual notes."

Kagome stared down at it a moment before flipping it open to look over its contents; her eyes scanned and she blinked several times, realizing just what this was. Those dark blues snapped over to her boss. "But, Himura-sensei… I've already made notes on this file…"

"Not sufficient ones. Do it again."

Kagome's blood boiled. Do it again? _Do it again?_ Just what had been wrong with the job she'd done before? "Can I ask why you weren't satisfied?" she hazarded, careful to keep the tension out of her voice.

He crossed his arms over his chest. "If you can't figure it out, Higurashi-san, then perhaps you need to reevaluate why you're here."

Her jaw flexed; blue eyes darkened further. She could feel the hand on her thigh tightening into the fist. A pink of hum of energy flared within her, and, she did well to keep the light wanting to break free restrained.

It was then she heard a deep growl within the folds of her mind, a rumble like that of a wolf on the verge of pouncing and eviscerating an enemy to shreds. In a way, it reminded her a lot of Inuyasha.

Wait…

"_Sesshoumaru… did you just… _growl_?"_

"…_I do _not_ like this man."_

"_Yeah, well, I'm not very fond of him either,"_ she admitted to him in her own head, nearly jumping at the way the tattoo prowled along her skin like a caged beast. No, he wasn't happy at all. _"But, the bastard's my boss, so I have to put up with him."_

"_Or,"_ he edged, rumble in his voice, _"you could give This Sesshoumaru permission to bury him beyond the reach of the seven hells."_

If she weren't so amused at the prospect she might have been annoyed; part of her couldn't tell if he was joking, or, serious. She liked to think it was a little of both. Had he even been this direct in the past? She wasn't sure; maybe it had something to do with the binding. Maybe he felt the need to protect her? Probably.

"_You know, if I didn't think that might be your version of a joke I'd be a little irritated."_ That was about the time the tattoo stiffened and she actually felt curiosity from him. _"But, to answer you, no, you can't kill the man who writes my paychecks."_ She couldn't be sure, but she thought her heard him huff in indignation; there was… disappointment?

"Higurashi-san" her boss inquired, brow rising. "Is there a problem?"

"No," she bit off, a little less angry thanks to the inuyoukai. "I'll get it done."

"Good." And then he was gone, leaving her to herself.

"_Are you… are you pouting because I won't let you kill my boss?"_ She couldn't believe it even as she let the grin come over her face.

"_This Sesshoumaru does not pout_,_"_ he growled in warning_, "He laments on what he cannot do, but he never pouts."_

"If you say so," she murmured aloud, going back to work. He was so pouting. Soooooo pouting.

The day passed on in relative quiet; she took lunch, asked Sesshoumaru if he wanted to eat (he refused), and then stayed late to take a look (finally) at the shipments. Just as she suspected, there were at least fifteen weapons she could accurately date within a timeframe of several thousand years. She wouldn't know until she could study them further and send them off for carbon dating; however, it looked promising. And while she hadn't been happy to look at them last, she was happy she'd gotten a gander at them all by herself.

Sometimes… sometimes she felt like she was separated from the pack of scholars when Himura did this to her, but she supposed it all worked out in the wash. In another year or two she wouldn't have to put up with him anymore anyway. Another university would, hopefully, offer her a position; she'd get a grant and work in peace. And she'd never treat her assistants the same way, she told herself, thinking it might not be such a bad idea to let her inuyoukai kill the pest.

Inuyasha likely would agree with him. That thought alone made her want to laugh as she walked home, leather bag in hand. When she'd left the two brothers they'd been on decent terms; it hadn't been perfect, but they weren't trying to kill one another by then. She wondered how that had changed over the years when she'd gone home. She couldn't imagine them watching TV together like her and Souta, but it had to have gotten better for them.

"So, what kind of relationship do you and Inuyasha have? Or, well, _had_…" Kagome asked the man next to her as they strode along.

Sesshoumaru's hands were in his jean pockets; the action pulled back on the jacket he wore and up on the shirt under it where it hung around his waist and hips. "We were no longer attempting to kill the other," he told her, thinking that might be enough.

"Yeah, well, I _knew that_. I mean, did you guys hang out or anything?" she looked up at him.

"Our relationship grew to lack animosity as time went on, yes. I would not go so far as to say we 'hung out', as you put it, but we were in well enough spirits to converse without the desire to slit the others' throat."

Kagome chuckled. "Yeah, I guess Inuyasha has this way of pissing people off. I imagine it's not too hard for him to do that to you with your history."

He grunted, sort of, but did not vocalize his agreement. "You are still not speaking to your grandfather," he observed.

"Well, yeah, I'm upset with him. Don't get me wrong, I'm not mad you're here or anything. I'm just pissed off he didn't talk to me about this beforehand." She shrugged. "Marriage is kind of a big choice, you know?"

"Mating is an equally big choice, as you say," he intoned.

"Yeah… Can you even get divorced?" Once again, she was looking at him. This time, she tried to catch his eyes, seeking to internally know what he felt. But, it was hard. Sesshoumaru couldn't block her from knowing what he felt, but it seemed as though he'd gotten very good at not feeling anything.

"You can breaking the mating agreement, but it is a difficult process."

She nodded, once again thinking about this whole situation with him. Her eyes looked down. "Is it painful…?"

"Yes."

She bit her lip, again thinking. "Well… in theory… if we… ah…"

"_No_," he said suddenly.

It was then she did feel something strike through her from him; it was a combination of what felt like fear, refusal, and pain. It hit her so hard she nearly tripped and stopped walking altogether; her hand reached for the wall on her right to steady herself from the shock. "Uh… why?" she asked, knowing he knew what she'd been about ask before by the way he cut her off. His hand was immediately on her shoulder and waist, had been there before her hand even touched the wall just so she wouldn't fall.

She met his gaze slowly, curious about the pain and fear she'd felt. Amber met cobalt blue and she blinked at their close proximity.

"Because…" he said sternly, "your death would be the only result."

* * *

Tender, however cool, amber hues gazed down at the mirror in her hands. The woman watched carefully as the scene unfolded before her, as the male inuyoukai steadied the miko and spoke. Deft digits lifted and touched the side of her face; she sighed before allowing the image to blacken—for the reflective surface to return and show nothing more than her own pale features.

The organ in her chest beat heavily, aching and constricting with hope. Hope… such an alien emotion to her. The inuyoukai had held out for such a long time, carefully waiting… watching. Each time, a piece of that hope died; each time the failure of her own actions presented itself, regret slipped a wedge further and further into the organ under her breast.

Pitiful pride, where had it gotten her?

"You playing peeping tom again, Oba-chan?"

She didn't look up at the hanyou; she didn't even scold him for the awful nickname he sometimes shot off. Her heart, though heavy, held a brief hope it hadn't in a while. "It was your idea, was it not?"

"Yeah, well… she's a better choice than most. Better than the ones you've had for a while."

She snorted and then finally looked at him. The chair she sat in swiveled as she turned it to face him across her desk. Silvery-white strands to match his fell over her shoulders, down her back, and coiled in a pool behind her in the seat; some of them fell to the floor when she hadn't been looking. Thankfully, they didn't catch on the wheels as they did from time to time. Grace was a strong suit of hers; however, even the most graceful were entirely ungraceful at times.

"Is that an insult, adoptive son of mine?" she asked just when she set the looking glass on the desk face down and then allowed both arms to settle on the arm rests as she sat back.

He frowned at her, seeing right through the veneer she presented to the world. He saw right through to anguish, the pain, the ache for the result in what she'd done for pride and stubbornness. "Damnit, we did the right thing this time. Stop doubting yourself. The bastard's in good hands. Trust me."

She hummed, not entirely agreeing or denying his response—the insistence that he held that this time it would work out, that this time she wouldn't have to watch him suffer. "Have you still managed to keep the others away?"

"The fox ain't happy about it, but he gets it." He shrugged. "The rest don't have a problem. But, you know if she travels out the territory…"

"She won't."

"_You_ hope she doesn't; I have my doubts when it comes to how driven the wench can be to get answers."

"Yes, I know…"

Hope, really, was all she had. Hope that this time it really would be different; that the miko in possession of her son, Kagome, would finally be the one to free Sesshoumaru from the folly of her actions.

The next was the hope that he would eventually find a way forgive her.

* * *

**AN :: **Hope you guy had a happy Turkey Day—at least those of you who celebrate the joy of thankfulness and gorging one's self with pastries, meaty goodness, and carbs. For those of you who don't… I weep. Food babies are awesome during the holidays. Also, a Merry Christmas to you all as well since I won't poke in another update until January 1st.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I usually write a few ahead, but this one is actually my most recent as I've had classes keeping me occupied with essays and short stories. Blarg. Hopefully I'll get chapter six done before the first of the year, but if not… at least you know why. Considering I'll have time off from school when this semester is over…. Chances are good for writing getting done.

I'm also working on the next book of my original series The Steam Runner. I'm hoping to have it out by February at the latest. Deadlines, it seems, are something I'm always fighting with—writing or not. Love ya!

—**Blade**


	6. Chapter Six

.

.

.

.

The Taming of the Stubborn Inuyoukai

* * *

_It's been one week since you looked at me_

_Threw your arms in the air_

_and said "You're crazy"_

_Five days since you tackled me_

_I've still got the rug burns on both my knees_

_It's been three days since the afternoon_

_You realized it's not my fault_

_not a moment too soon_

_Yesterday you'd forgiven me_

_And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry._

—_One Week - Barenaked Ladies_

* * *

**Chapter Six**|Cat and Mouse

Amber depths remained locked on Kagome's, submerging into them as if doing so would allow him to get his point across. There was soft and tender confusion in those endless irises of cobalt; a sea of questions and curiosities he wasn't sure he had the strength to answer. But he could feel it nonetheless.

Stupid girl.

_There's no need to go that far_, he wanted to tell her. _I'm not him anymore_. _The one who hated what my brother's existence represented; the one who mowed down others simply because I found them bothersome; the one who didn't understand what it meant to feel compassion…_

…_Mercy._

He wanted to tell her she didn't need to die for him, that it wasn't anyone's place to make that sacrifice for him.

There was this image in his mind of her, young and inexperienced as she played with Rin in an open field. He could see her smiling brightly in the sunlight, chasing after his charge while garbed in what he now knew to be her school uniform. Her laughter echoed on the fringes of his subconscious, reminding him of the girl she'd once been—of her importance to his brother even after she'd returned home.

There was a light in Kagome; there had always been. As she had grown it had not dimmed; no… it had brightened with her emergence into adulthood. The brief images of her in the past as a girl hitting his brother for saying something embarrassing mixed with the woman who'd boldly laughed at him in the shower—naked as the day she'd come into the world. Those images converged for the first time as he stared into her eyes….

…once again unable to stop himself from looking for that _spot_.

"Sesshoumaru…?" she whispered finally.

Stupid girl.

He closed his eyes and shoved off the wall and away from her. He turned and moved to walk again, digging his hands back into his jean pockets.

He could feel her eyes on his back as he continued to walk, as he felt the tug to return to her because of the curse. The pain pricked at him as it usually did, but it wasn't strong enough to make him care.

"Sesshoumaru!" she cried out. He could hear her running to catch up with him. Her sneakered feet beat into the concrete with a snap of sounds.

He didn't reply, half wondering if he were upset, and, if so what at? Her? Himself? Something he didn't totally understand?

He felt her tug at his arm, causing him to stop and look over at her. At the same time he could feel worry… perhaps fear for… him?

"You're upset," she told him, not asking; no, telling.

"Perhaps." The answer came out automatically.

She squeezed his arm once, still holding his gaze. "…What did you mean before?"

He didn't want to talk about it. Talking about it would give the miko ideas, ideas he was sure she would consider. He could recall quite well how tenacious she could be when it came to easing someone's pain, especially someone she considered a friend. Those moments were brief, the one's he'd witnessed… but he knew them well enough.

Rin, for her part, had always spoken quite fondly of Kagome's nature.

He didn't sigh, but mentally he could hear the sound in his own head even as he looked away from her and down the long stretch of sidewalk.

"Please tell me," she urged quietly, fingers tightening around his bicep… as if such an action would convey what he felt from her already.

"… Is that an order?"

Her emotions hit him long before the impact of the space of silence, what not speaking meant. And while it was normal for him to expect his masters to feel it was their right to know whatever they asked him… Kagome's internal reaction was something new: a combination of hurt, empathy, care, and a pain that mixed with that empathy—her own pain and the pain she felt on his behalf… And perhaps guilt?

He stilled as she released his arm, finger trailing down the material covering it.

"It's alright."

He looked down at her immediately, surprised to find her smiling.

"You can tell me when you want to." And then after the space of a moment she turned and moved to walk down the sidewalk again. "C'mon, best get home so we're not late for dinner. I told mom I wouldn't be working long hours."

She went on moving forward, leaving Sesshoumaru to stare at her back as she got further and further away. He didn't smile, and, his face didn't reveal anything untoward about the situation that had just occurred. And yet… amber eyes appeared softer. They would to the sharp observer, as subtle as it was.

He watched as her just-longer-than-shoulder length strands brush against her back, as her clothing tugged with each motion, and as she tightened her hold on her bag. He could see her body move just so as she inhaled deeply and then exhaled slowly—as if releasing a great pressure.

And then he did smile—barely—before following her.

* * *

"Idiot Himura."

One elegant silver brow rose and honey orbs directed themselves towards the miko next to him. He watched as her hands gripped the tray she held to the point of briefly turning her knuckles white. That graze drew further up and noted the pout, the furrow on her brow, and eventually the huff that escaped her lips just before she snatched a bottle of juice and continued on down the line.

Before joining her he got a drink for himself and set it carefully on his own tray. "If you hate him so much why continue on in his presence?"

"I thought we went over this already," she muttered. "It's obvious. I need to just get through this so I can move onto a better position."

"Are there not other places you could work?"

Kagome set down her tray once it was her turn to pay. She spoke as she pulled out her wallet, "Yeah, sure there are. But, at my age it's not easy to get in—certainly not a position that pays. Most people my age are doing unpaid internships. This looks better on my transcripts and resume."

He understood most of it, internally conceding to that point. The daiyoukai followed her as she walked away and towards a table, eventually sitting across from her. As she opened her drink he replied, "Stand up to him; remind him of your position—that you are not an over glorified pencil pusher."

"I wish it were that simple," she said with a sigh, some of the anger going out of her as she frowned and picked up her chopsticks to take a stab at her meal—literally. "Himura controls whether or not I keep my job. Arguing with him might get me fired.

"Life was never this complicated during the feudal era," she mused next, smiling bitterly as she toyed with her food. One hand was on her cheek as her elbow rested on the table. "Go here, kill that, save this person. Yada, yada, yada."

"You were not a ruler, so naturally it wasn't. The same stresses experienced then exist now; it was simply different."

"I guess. I just wish my boss was some kind of evil demon I could get rid of." She stuffed some noodles in her mouth and munched. After swallowing she went on. "I know I'm going to have to deal with this crap through my career… but, I didn't think it'd be like this. Not exactly anyway."

What he really wanted to tell her was what he told her the day before: to let him be rid of the bastard, 'evil demon' or not. Sesshoumaru did not like Himura; he perhaps liked him less than Kagome did. He hated the way the man made her feel, the way his words wore on her—depressed and frustrated her. It was a natural reaction given their tie, but it also had quite a bit to do with how much she'd meant to his ward and brother. The man was, at best, a bully whose only control over her had to do with her income and what recommendations he'd offer after she left onto her next position. But Kagome had made it quite clear that his preferred solution the problem was an impossibility.

Perhaps she was right; perhaps the feudal era was much simpler. Few people cared about a little bloodshed four centuries ago. They would weep, hold a funeral, and then eventually go back to their fields.

"What is it exactly that you are studying?" he decided to ask, if for nothing else than to change the topic and ease her aggravation when the latter option was unavailable to him.

Kagome's face instantly brightened and she grinned. "Old weapons if you wanted it laymen's terms. But, the degree itself is in archaeology with a focus on ancient Japanese weaponry. I've got my masters right now, but at least another two years until I complete my doctorate."

"What are your eventual plans?"

"Well… I'm not sure," she admitted before taking another bite. "Ideally, I'd like to work for a university as a professor; maybe get a grant so I can do what I love…"

"Study old scraps of metal."

"Pretty much," she agreed with a sheepish smile and a scratch to the back of her head. "Really, I never quite expected my life to take this kind of turn. All I ever really wanted to do was find Inuyasha, Shippou, and see if Miroku and Sango had any family in my time."

It made more sense to him now. Kagome assumed by finding the swords that she could trace them back to his family. What had likely started as a hobby became a full blown career change. "It was ambitious of you."

She chuckled. "I was just barely sixteen after all. I assumed I could take the world by storm. Then I imagined I'd find the gang in a few months, maybe a few years. You'd think the more time passed the more deterred I would have become."

Sesshoumaru washed down as a bite with his drink and smirked.

"What's that look for?" A single black brow rose and she set down her chopsticks.

"My brother liked to entertain Rin with stories after you departed. She admired you very much and he did nothing but solidify her first impressions. You should know there were many times I blamed your inadvertent influence on her."

"Now I'm curious." Her smile turned lopsided, if not a little nervous.

"She became stubborn—determined to mirror your image. There were few things I could distract her from once she wanted it badly enough, telling me that Kagome-nee-chan would not give up were it her."

And then Kagome laughed, smile becoming a grin once more. She covered the opening as her eyes closed and pink tinged over the bridge of her nose. "I can only picture in my head all the things you mean by that."

His eyes softened just so before he continued eating.

Kagome placed her chin in her hands, fingers splayed on either cheek. He could sense that her heart had eased slightly. She was less upset, but a little sorrowful with some bittersweet happiness. "I miss them, you know. But truly, I'm glad you're here. Hearing about Rin and Inuyahsa makes it a little easier… like we really will find them."

Part of him wanted to reassure her; it felt natural to say they would—to comfort that part of her that needed someone else to say it would happen… someone like his brother. And yet… the words wouldn't leave his mouth. The assured lack of doubt he'd possessed so long ago lingered, but it was so well trodden over with other more important guards that he couldn't exactly remember what it felt like to be that confident. What was left was what remained on the exterior, and, what was left on the interior wasn't worth looking at.

She didn't seem to mind as they shifted into an almost comfortable silence—the lack of anything to offer her. He began to wonder if she expected that from him when someone came to their table and spoke Kagome's name.

"E-Eri!" Kagome smiled, easily covering the instant fear he felt from her at the girl's arrival.

She stood next to their small table dressed in comfortable day clothes: tight jeans, a knit top, and hoodie with some kind of English wording embroidered on it along the sleeves and front. The latter he couldn't distinguish very well simply because the zipper was down and the front open. Her hair was the same shade as Kagome's; though straighter and shorter. Her eyes were also different; a deep chocolate brown.

She looked briefly at him and he met that gaze before turning away slowly to go back to his food.

"I haven't heard from you in days; now I can see why," she said with an unabashed grin.

"Eri!" Kagome said again, obviously embarrassed. "Can't you at least say hi first before surprising me?"

The girl laughed softly and continued to grin. "Not really. You gonna introduce me?"

Kagome sighed with a little too much exaggeration. Her eyes shut once with the action as she crossed her arms over her chest. "This is Sesshourmaru; he's staying at the shrine for a while as a family friend.

"Anyway, I didn't call you because I've been busy."

"Obviously." She snorted, indicating the reason not-so-subversively.

Kagome grumbled. "You're such a rat."

"Hey now, you're not denying it. Nice to meet you by the way," Eri said to him, waving slightly. "You from around Edo?"

"Further west originally," he told her, trying not to be rude. "And you?" Eri looked like a talker; it would probably be best to just direct the conversation back to her to keep her from asking too many invasive questions. It required him to speak more, but it was a skill he'd acquired long ago given his situation with various masters.

"Born and raised in Edo. Kagome and I grew up together. Got our AA together too before splitting universities. She went on to specialize in pointy stuff and I decided on a major in the arts.

"Honestly though, I'm a bit surprised we stayed so close during high school. You were always so sick with one thing or another." Eri gave Kagome a sideways look.

The girl on the receiving end of said look laughed sheepishly. "Yeah, that's true. Sorry to worry you so much then. Like I told you though, my immune system was really in a mess; grandfather tends to embellish."

"I'll give you that," Eri agreed with a nod. "So how long are you in town for… ah, is it alright if I call you Sesshoumaru-san?"

"It does not bother me, no."

She nodded. "How long are you in town for Sesshoumaru-san, if I can ask?"

"You're so nosey, Eri. Are you angling for a date?"

"Hardly. He's so obviously _your_ boyfriend." A smirk. "And it's not a nosey question!"

Kagome half-choked on her drink and hit her chest with her fist a few times.

"Careful," Sesshoumaru chided softly.

"I never said he was my boyfriend," the miko got out once she found her voice again. Her dark blues were half glaring at the other dark-haired female. "I said he was a _family friend_."

"So then you really _wouldn't_ care if I asked him on a date?"

Sesshoumaru could tell by her playful nature that she wasn't serious; still, he felt the need to interject. "I would respectfully refuse even if you did, Eri-san."

Eri chuckled airily in response. "Makes sense. Kagome was always popular in high school. Good luck, Sesshoumaru-san." She winked at him. "No injury taken, by the way. _My_ boyfriend would be pretty pissed."

Kagome blinked a few times, surprised. "You're seeing someone again?"

"Well yeah." Her hands went to her hips as she addressed her friend once more. "You've been busy as usual. I didn't even get the weekly call from you, Higurashi." She rolled her eyes. "I know you've got to get back to work soon—probably. But, if you've got time in a few days it'd be nice to have lunch on your day off. Think you can spare a few hours for me?"

"Ah… yeah… I'm sorry." Kagome looked at the time on her phone. "I actually do have to get back in about ten minutes. Just text me?"

"Sure." She turned to Sasshoumaru. "Nice meeting you." And then she stopped short before walking away—stepped back once to look at him, eyes narrowing as if she just noticed something. Her lips pursed. "….Not to remind Kagome of past loves… but, are you related to Inuyasha-san by any chance?"

Sesshoumaru watched as Kagome stilled; it was an action that went completely unnoticed by Eri. Before answering he paused, but it wasn't so long that Kagome's friend would be suspicious of his response. "He is my half-brother; though, we have not spoken in some time."

"The resemblance makes more sense now." She nodded as if satisfied with his reply and adjusted the bag on her shoulder. "I'm not sure how healthy it is for my Kagome to be seeing her ex's brother, especially given how messed up she was after they broke up… but, take care of her, alright?"

"That was always my intention," he answered honestly.

"Good." Another grin and then she was gone.

Kagome sighed long and hard after Eri made her departure. "Sorry about that. Eri can be a handful, but you managed it better than I thought. Better than me for sure."

"It is not the first time I have had to interact with my masters' friends and relatives."

"I guess it wouldn't have been." She frowned. "Now she thinks you're trying to get involved with me and I'm playing hard to get or something. Meh."

"In a way we are involved, are we not?" He looked up at her. "It would be better to tell others I am your boyfriend. If it is easier for you it would not bother me." He picked up the last of his noodles with his chopsticks and finished them off, breaking eye contact.

"I just don't think it's anyone's business, is all," she muttered. "Eri's really nosey and if she thinks were dating she'll start asking me questions I don't want to answer."

"About our sleeping arrangements," he supplied politely.

"Pretty much."

He didn't have a good solution for that. "Just tell her, as you put it, that it's none of her business."

"Yeah, I guess… I…" Kagome trailed off and her eyes narrowed. Her body shifted just slightly as she shifted her gaze to stare at nothing in particular.

To the outside viewer—rather, the outside average human viewer—it appeared as if she'd just remembered something. And, at first, Sesshoumaru was going to ask her if something was the matter. But then his mouth snapped shut and a length of time passed on. It's as if they were both straining to hear the same sound.

"…Did you feel that?" she asked quietly—finally.

"I did."

In the next moment Kagome stood up, grabbed her things, and made a beeline for the exit as considerately as she could with the small crowd present in the diner. She didn't bother calling to the daiyoukai to follow; he was fast on her heels as she stepped out into the chilled afternoon air. She stopped then, ignoring the crowd as he felt her miko aura explode around her.

Amber eyes could keenly see the faint trace of pink energy as it burst forth, the tiny specks of glittering magenta that humans couldn't. It sliced right through him, forcing him to hold back a gasp even as he stopped behind her.

"This way," she muttered before heading off down the sidewalk, focused and determined.

He followed close behind, tracing the youki and the scent. Both became stronger as they got closer, and, in a flash he knew who they were chasing after. It hit him with a sense of relief. The knowledge comforted him, but at the same time there was a pang of agony. Why was she running from him?

He pushed it aside though, and decided he'd ask her when they caught up. "Keep going this way," he told Kagome. "I'm going to head them off. We'll box them in."

"Got it!"

The daiyoukai leapt up on the nearest wall, rebounding to the other on the opposite side of the alley. In a few repeats of this action he found himself on the ledge of the leftmost building and increased his pace.

In that moment he decided he hated the jeans Kagome's brother preferred. They were not nearly loose enough for his liking, not like his hakama and haori. It was an issue he would deal with later; much later when he wasn't chasing after someone he shouldn't be chasing after at all.

And that's when he felt it, right when he dropped three stories to the ground to halt the runner. A flash, and then several hundred youkis at once. When he stood up Kagome was right in front of him; nothing but empty space and a dumpster pushed up along a wall between them.

The youkis, the scent, had all but evaporated.

Kagome looked frustrated for a moment—angry. Her whole face changed drastically in an instant. But, in that same instant she turned and looked up, flinging something towards the wall opposite of the one he'd dropped from. And then she jumped, a flash of pink energy sailing with her as she hit one wall with her feet and then the next. He went after her, watching as she grasped the ledge of that building. Using her feet in the same fluid motion she gained leverage and went up and over. Just as he joined her two shadows—one youkai and the other something close to it—faded from sight.

"Almost had them," she snapped loudly. He, like her, stared at the space where the shadows at gone from, not sure if he were disappointed, irritated, or saddened. Perhaps it was a combination of all three.

She gave a growl before and then turned back to the building ledge they'd come over.

Sesshoumaru continued to stare where the two figures had been. "They used two very advanced techniques to escape. Do not blame yourself." He heard her grunt and turned to see what she was doing.

"I'm not. I'm just irritated that people I know would avoid me. It doesn't make sense."

She had felt it too then.

He watched as she jerked something out of the wall on the other side of the ledge. A small throwing knife was pocketed; in her hands she fingered a scrap of black cloth.

Blue eyes met his as she came forward and moved to hand it over. "Can you…?"

He could smell it from her hands, not needing to grasp it at all or bring it to his nose.

"Inuyasha. Rin."

"Why would he…"

"I do not know."

She didn't say anything for a while, but he could feel her confusion—worry. From those emotions he could only assume she worried as to why his brother would try to avoid her. Admittedly, he wondered the same. Inuyasha was known for inadvertently causing Kagome pain, but not intentionally.

"…I am sorry."

She was looking down at the cloth, fingering it gently and rubbing it with her thumbs. "It's alright. There must be a good reason. Has to be." And then she tucked it away and looked up at him, smiling faintly—without an honest reflection of her own internal storm.

"We'll find them," she went on. "Even if they don't want to be seen. This is good news, if nothing else, right?"

He didn't know how to reply to that, much as he hadn't known how to earlier when she'd been optimistic. Thankfully, he was robbed once her phone went off.

Confused, she pulled the device out and stared down at it. "Crap, we're late. Himura's gonna have another reason to rail me.

"C'mon."

* * *

**AN :: **Early update 'cause New Years an' stuff! Woohoo! I'll be drinking tonight and might not remember to update tomorrow. SURPRISE! -cackles and dashes off-


	7. Chapter Seven

.

.

.

.

The Taming of the Stubborn Inuyoukai

* * *

_It's been one week since you looked at me_

_Threw your arms in the air_

_and said "You're crazy"_

_Five days since you tackled me_

_I've still got the rug burns on both my knees_

_It's been three days since the afternoon_

_You realized it's not my fault_

_not a moment too soon_

_Yesterday you'd forgiven me_

_And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry._

—_One Week - Barenaked Ladies_

* * *

**Chapter Seven**| Best of Intentions

The daiyoukai sighed, violet-colored lips just barely parted as she stared out the large expanse of a window and down to the streets below her. Tiny figures darted across the street, some of them slipping into cars or just across the crosswalk. Her hands were delicately linked behind her back, fingers partially interlocked.

Behind her she could feel just one person, one half youkai waiting for her to acknowledge the fact that he'd come into the room.

She let the curtain fall over her eyes, amber depths shielded briefly from view.

"Is she alright?"

"Define alright," he responded, snorting caustically.

"I warned you against taking her," she told him, voice soft as she stared out and focused on the way a bird slipped between an alleyway. She watched as the creature landed on a shadowed balcony and plucked around for whatever the owner had left behind on the ground after breakfast. "I know you're not happy about the current state of affairs—."

"Damn right I'm not. They're linked aren't they? Getting' along? How much longer are ya gonna drag this out for?"

She frowned.

"I know they need time to get to know each other, but don't ya think it's about time pull the curtain up? With the screw-up with Rin it seems fairly pointless, if you ask me."

"You were supposed to keep a handle on that."

"Yeah, well…." A pause. She felt him shift. "I underestimated her, alright? Even that little trick didn't help. We barely made it out." Another pause, and then… "She knows it's us, Oba-chan.

"What do you wanna do?"

She sighed again. Things weren't going the way she wanted them to. Part of her had known allowing Rin to get a glimpse of her 'father' could advance things. It was a given, and, she hadn't had the heart to say no... Not when the lack of Sesshoumaru's presence had everything to so with her.

Silently, her heart strained.

"What would you have me do?" she asked uncharacteristically.

There was nothing for a moment, as if he was trying to think of just how to word something quite so serious. She could feel his hesitation, his consideration for her and everyone else involved… something he'd always been good at… but, only recently had acquired the fortitude to execute properly.

"I get you want to give them time. I _know_ our original plan was a month, at least. Right? I get it. But…"

"But?"

"It's been _four_ _hundred years_, Oba-san. Nearly four hundred of not doing a damn thing about it if you don't count the last gal. You've spent so much time trying to find the right girl, youkai and human alike, that…

"Kami, he's _your son_. Are you sure you're not just holding out because you're afraid to face him?"

"Perhaps part of me is afraid he won't forgive me," she told him honestly, knowing he was right.

"He's gonna be pissed no matter how long you give it. Even if it all goes well with Kagome he's still…" he trailed off and she heard what sounded like fingers running through a long mane of hair before he spoke again, "If it was me? I'd just get it over with. It's not fair to Rin or Shippo.

"Hell, it's not fair to _me_."

More silence after that, more of her mulling over words that other had spoken—people that had a stake in it and those who did not. She found herself thinking about his feelings, about her son's, about Rin's and everyone else's.

And still, confusion clouded every space.

"Give me twenty-four hours. I'll give my response to you then… as well as Rin."

"I'll let her know." And then… he was gone, the door clicking soundlessly behind him.

"C'mon, Souta! I waited over a month for this one!"

"Can't you just DVR it?"

Kagome growled; at least, it sounded like a growl. "You don't DVR live coverage!"

"It's so boring though!"

"You're such a moron."

"Rock, paper, scissors then."

"Heck no; let's go hash it out in the backyard."

"It's below thirty out there!"

Sesshoumaru listened as this tirade went back and forth on the couch, half wondering if he should intervene or not. The pool of patience he possessed had always been substantially larger than his brother's; he'd been uncharacteristically blessed with it long before Rin had entered his life. Which, was probably a good thing given how often she would go on and on about something nonsensical while he tried to fit in a nap or two between their travels.

For a moment the shouting next to him from the two siblings grew louder, half tapering even while he pressed his fingers into his jawline and stared at the television across the way.

They didn't appear to be arguing seriously, but once Kagome's frame was shoved against his own he knew it was time to find something else to do. The daiyoukai stood up immediately, briefly glancing at the two while they grappled for the remote. They hadn't even noticed his movement.

He shook his head once, removing short white bangs from his field of vision before walking away to some other part of the home. Eventually he found himself in the kitchen, hands tucked into his pockets while he quietly watched Kagome's mother cook.

She was partially bent over a cutting board, slicing at what appeared to be daikon. Behind her, a pot was brewing on the stove with steam half escaping the lid along the sides.

His nostrils flared automatically, taking in all the different scents present—old and new. There was a treasure trove of seasonings; they all lingered and saturated: oregano, ginger, thyme, wasabi, garlic, pepper, and the common table salt.

You could always tell how often a kitchen was used just by how it smelled; at least, if the nose in question were attached to a youkai.

"Is it getting too loud for you in there, Sesshoumaru-san?" she asked.

"…The noise was preferable to the wrestling match."

She laughed at that, the sound rounding off into a soft chuckle. "It's their way of bonding, I suppose." She looked up from her cutting briefly, pausing. "You can sit down if you want." Knife in hand, she motioned to the bar seating on the other side of the island she was working at.

He hesitated. It had never really been his intention to come into the kitchen to seek company, to speak to Kagome's mother. He'd merely been escaping the sibling ruckus. It would be easy for him to refuse her, to politely brush her off and wander to some other part of the home. It would be so very simple to go outside or to Kagome's room. Being away from her for the time in which it took dinner to be prepared would not do much harm.

But, it had also been a very long since he'd had to think about what he wanted to do as well. And, if he were to be honest, he really didn't want to be alone despite what many people assumed about his very nature.

Raising Rin had given him a keen awareness for company—human company; human company that wasn't laced in ulterior motive and selfish gain. And like Kagome, her mother radiated this natural warmth, a light that felt almost healing to be in the presence of.

"May I assist?" he asked instead, voice soft.

Her brows rose and she stopped cutting the daikon. For a few brief seconds she didn't respond, and, Sesshoumaru wondered if he'd said something wrong.

"I apologize," he began.

And then she laughed, breaking her shocked expression to pieces. Her hand came up to cover her open mouth until she calmed it to a simple grin. "Goodness, no, _I'm_ sorry. I don't remember the last time anyone asked if I needed help in the kitchen. Much less a man." A pause. "No offense."

The daiyoukai smiled back just so, gently. "None taken."

She moved to open a drawer after setting her knife down and got him a cutting board of his own, a knife too. She placed both items on the island and motioned to the small pile of vegetables between both boards in the middle. "I would adore some help, Sesshoumaru-san.

"Just start cutting."

"How would like them?" he asked, taking an onion and the knife. "Minced?"

She grinned. "You can dice the onion, the rest of it should be a bit bigger—chunks.

"You know your way around a kitchen then?"

"Well enough," he admitted as he began to work, eyes focused on the task.

"It's always good to," she went on as she went back to work as well. "I've taught Kagome a bit, but she's still got a ways to go.

"She knows enough to feed herself—to eat more than instant ramen. But, I don't imagine she'll be making soufflés anytime soon. Souta, if you can imagine it, is a much better help in the with it than his sister. The only problem is actually getting him in here." She sighed. "He spends so little time with Kagome, so when she's home for dinner he tends to glue himself to her side."

"I believe I can understand that."

"Which part? The sibling neediness or the inability to get my son to help in here whenever his sister in in the near vicinity?" She picked up her board and turned, dumping the contents into the pot. "I'll take that," she told him once she returned, reaching for his.

He handed it over and then spoke to her back as she turned again. "A bit of both," he admitted ruefully and after a short silence.

"Do you have children?" she blinked at she met his gaze and Sesshoumaru wondered if he should be worried about her question. He didn't know Kagome's mother very well having only been there a fraction of a week. Should he feel affronted, nervous? He wasn't Kagome's boyfriend; her lover, yes, but not her boyfriend. There was no need to fear being assessed, but it still hung in the air.

"I have an adoptive daughter," he admitted, not moving to work. The memory stung suddenly and unexpectedly; the memory of not even knowing what his own child looked like. He remembered her face, her hair, her smile—all from before. And yet, how had she changed?

"How old is she?" she asked softly, not moving to work either.

"Too old," he admitted with a sigh as he leaned into the counter. "The last time I saw her she was happily bonded—married—to a man of her own choosing. A youkai." He could sense the stillness in the woman across from him; he could feel the way her eyes remained on him even while he didn't meet her gaze.

Pity?

Why had he told her that at all?

And then she hummed thoughtfully, the tension in the air clearing almost entirely. "Little girls are almost always a handful," she said next. "Boys seem to enjoy proving themselves, but I think little girls are worse." And then she started cutting again.

"Rin could never stop speaking," he said almost as a rebuttal, taking another vegetable from the pile and mirroring her actions. "She never had much of interest in being the best that I know of, but, from the time she awoke until the moment her head hit the pillow at night… she spoke.

"I had never met anyone in all my life that had so much to talk about."

"Was she like that as an adult?" she asked with a grin.

"She learned to speak less, but… I don't think the desire ever left her."

She chuckled. "I've known a few like that. Actually, I'm fairly certain most children are like that. They want to be a part of the conversation and hate being left out."

"That might be true if she ever gave me a chance to join in," he found himself saying.

"You don't appear to be very chatty," she agreed. "Maybe she just wanted to fill the void."

"Perhaps."

"Can I ask you something personal?"

And then he looked up at her. Again, they had both stopped. The air didn't feel serious, but the question felt as if it might boarder on another that was invasive. Sesshoumaru found that when anyone asked if they could ask you something, regardless whether or not they verbally deemed it personal, it was almost always invasive.

He didn't actually know how to reply. There weren't even words to catch in his throat. His masters demanded information; he was only just relearning, for as long as it lasted, that he could keep things to himself. But, this woman wasn't his master. She was Kagome's mother, and, he wasn't sure what to say to that.

He must have taken too long to reply because she went on anyway.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to… but," she began, frowning, "Kagome is my daughter. My only daughter. She is one of the few pieces of my husband I have left. I love her dearly.

"What are your intentions?"

So, she was concerned. He was surprised it hadn't come sooner. It wasn't the first time this had happened to him, but it was the first time he didn't have a preprogrammed response thanks to the woman who had charge of him.

Thus, he found it within himself to reply honestly. "I have no intentions," he admitted. "Your daughter owns me. She can and will do as she sees fit with my person. Unless she decides to take me as a mate, or, she manages to find a way to break this curse without doing so…

"I will remain by her side as a protector and a possession."

He watched as the frown remained, as her eyes softened. After a moment she just nodded. "You will is not your own," she said.

"It is Kagome's. I can do nothing to her she does not wish of me."

She sighed. "I was told this already, but perhaps I just needed to hear you say it.

"I take it you do not think she can do it? Find a way to break this curse?"

"Kagome is driven. I know this from what I have seen of her in the past. But…" he trailed off, looking away. "…There are some things that cannot be undone by will alone, Higurashi-san."

"There is always hope, Sesshoumaru-san." He saw her sad smile out of the corner of his eye.

He didn't have a reply, at least not one he wanted to say out loud. Hope, after all, was something he'd only understood after he'd been cursed. And, it was something he lost as the passing of time took from him piece by piece.

* * *

"Damnit," she grumbled as deft digits poked and prodded through one folder after another in her bag. She already had quite the mess on her the workspace. A brush, tissues, and a pile of change were just some of the items littered about. At present, she was pulling all of the other folders out and going through it one page by page. Teeth bit at her lower lip and she grumbled.

She must have left it on her desk at home.

_What is wrong, Miko?_

She frowned and stopped as Sesshoumaru's voice rang out in her head. She could feel the tattoo on her body shift slightly, moving from her stomach to her back, and then along her shoulders.

"I left a folder at home, a work document that I need to turn in today before my boss' big meeting. It's research he needs to present."

_This Sesshoumaru thinks it would be best to let him suffer through it_.

She rolled her eyes. "I'll have to go back home and get it." Her eyes darted to the clock. "Meeting is in about an hour."

_You also have lunch. You cannot do both_.

"Yeah, well, work is more important than eating. I'll just race there, get it and a snack, and then race back and eat it at my desk after I turn over the folder." Her stomach was going to hate her. Probably.

She jerked as the tattoo shifted again, as it moved in a now familiar way she hadn't totally gotten used to yet. In a flash of light and liquid airborne ink, he was in front of her. Kagome quickly looked about her workspace, only sighing a relief when she saw one was around. Dark blue eyes met amber-gold ones.

"Hey," she snapped off, "didn't we talk about you poofing into existence in front of people?"

He crossed his arms over his chest and raised a brow. "There is no one here to have seen me."

"Yes but—."

"I will go get your folder. You will go to lunch. It is on your desk, is it not?"

"Yes, it's got bold red writing on it. But that's not the—."

"Go to lunch." And just like that, he turned and left, completely ignoring her.

There was a very big part of her that was cheering that he'd dared to argue with her, made a choice for himself, and opted to execute that decision. However, it was still hard not to be a little miffed that he hadn't really let her talk to him about it.

At that moment her stomach growled, completely overriding any anger she had.

"Fine," she muttered to the empty room, slapping things back into her bag. "I'm going." Alright, so maybe she was pretty hungry. Maybe he had been jerky about it, but maybe it was just his way of being nice. She didn't like him being too far away from her; she didn't want him to be in pain for a stupid research document. It didn't seem right. But, unless she really wanted to start ordering him around that wasn't going to happen. This whole predicament was messed up, more for him than her. And she just didn't want him to be uncomfortable; she didn't want him to think she was going to be like all those other people who'd had control of him.

I mean, it'd be one thing if he were trying to kill someone—sure. She'd probably put her foot down then. But, ordering him not to help her so he wouldn't be in pain would probably be more painful. It wasn't worth losing what fragile trust he had in her already.

The streets were pretty busy when she stepped out of the building and down the steps, but it wasn't so bad that it would take her long to get to the little lunch café she liked so much. She would normally order a hot sandwich, but today felt like a soup day with the brisk chill threatening to freeze every inside she had covered in a thick wool coat.

She could see the sign for the it in the distance, but slowed down as she passed a shop window. This was also another one of favorite places: a family owned dress store that always had the most beautiful shades of fabric and styles. You could tell they made their own patterns. Kagome had always wanted to buy something from them. And really, it wasn't so much a matter of money. If she wanted, she could scrimp and save for a few months. The problem was she never had anywhere to wear something they offered. It didn't make her sad really, but she was a practical girl. And practical girls didn't spend money on something they'd never use.

"Kagome-san?"

The miko blinked as she heard her voice just after a little bell chime. When she looked over the door to the dress shop was opened and a tall brunette in a white business suit stepped out. Blue eyes locked on the older woman's green ones. She instantly recognized the bob that dropped to the woman's jawline and the way her soft smile brought about a few dimples.

"Kimi-san," Kagome replied, smiling back as she turned to face her fully. "It's good to see you. Were you shopping for something?" She allowed her to take her hands and squeeze them once. Kagome squeezed back before Kimi-san dropped them.

"I was," she admitted, glancing to her right at the display window. "I have a party next week with a twenty or so business associates and their families."

"That sounds fun," Kagome told her. "You picked a good place. I've never shopped there myself, but they always have really pretty stuff on display when I walk by on my way to lunch.

"Oh! By the way," she went on, thinking it needed to be said before she forgot. "Thank you for the sword. You didn't have to."

She smiled again. "It felt like it was meant to be yours. No thanks are needed."

"Still, it's probably an expensive piece and I wouldn't feel right not thanking you."

"In that case, you are most welcome. Are you off to lunch?"

"I am. Did you want to join me?"

"Not today, unfortunately. I have mile long list of things to accomplish and never enough time." She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "But, I would like to take you out another day.

"Would Friday be alright?"

"Perfect, actually. I have the day off then."

"Wonderful." She pulled out her phone when a ringtone sounded. Kagome watched at her green depths scanned the caller ID. Soon enough they looked back up at her. "You'll have to excuse me, unfortunately. This is an important call. Does noon sound alright for Friday?"

"Yeah sure! Don't worry about me. Go ahead." She waved her off as Kimi-san answered the phone and went in the opposite direction towards a black car. A man was already out and opening the back passenger door for her to get in.

It had been some time since she'd heard from the shrine's sponsor, but she didn't appear any less busy than she usually was. Truthfully, Kagome had never even been over to her house. Any time she'd met with her or her husband had been either at the shrine or at a hotel restaurant. It didn't exactly strike her as weird, but she was happy they'd be having lunch later that week. It was something to look forward to anyway.

* * *

**AN ::** This chapter was blocky and choppy. I am not proud of it; I'm really not proud of it considering how long you had to wait. Feel free to rip it apart; I'll just sit here and nod in agreement. (This is so not me fishing for compliments, btw. I'm being real.)

Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewings in advance. Not sure when the next update will be. Finals are in two and a half weeks. Expect the middle of May at the soonest. I'll be off school for summer then.

—**Blade**


	8. Chapter Eight

.

.

.

.

The Taming of the Stubborn Inuyoukai

* * *

_It's been one week since you looked at me_

_Threw your arms in the air_

_and said "You're crazy"_

_Five days since you tackled me_

_I've still got the rug burns on both my knees_

_It's been three days since the afternoon_

_You realized it's not my fault_

_not a moment too soon_

_Yesterday you'd forgiven me_

_And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry._

—_One Week - Barenaked Ladies_

* * *

**Chapter Eight**|Rift

"So, can you still—like—fly? I mean, wouldn't that have been easier?"

Amber-honey hues turned to look at her. He stopped as they stepped out into the night and off of the bus. Sesshoumaru watched as Kagome rubbed her arms and tugged more so within herself. He absently listened as the bus behind them shut its doors and continued on, engine revving. Her work bag, which he'd insisted on carrying, felt heavy in his right hand as he considered her question.

"Roughly one hundred years ago I was told that mode of transportation might be disconcerting were I seen."

"I suppose that's true," she sighed.

"You are tired," he told her.

"Not just that," she agreed, looking up at the night sky, blue eyes analytical. "I'm discouraged." It was honest. It's not like she could hide it even she wanted to. Sesshoumaru would sense it, and, he still hadn't taught her how to block her feelings from him and vice versa.

They'd spent the last two days—just as they'd planned—taking the subway and the busses, searching the city for any sense of Inuyasha, Rin, or other youkai. There hadn't seen a youki to sense in spitting distance or beyond.

Her feet hurt, but that was the least of her problems.

"Youkai know how to suppress their youki," he reminded her. "It's entirely possible that in this modern era they are doing so more often."

"Do you?"

"Yes."

Kagome frowned, and then just slowly moved to walk home. "But isn't that something you learn how to do? What about kids?"

"There are herbal mixtures you can give them until they learn." He glanced down at her. "If one were to use youkai powers, or, have a moment of strong emotional stress, then their youki could be sensed by other youkai or miko like yourself."

"Which is essentially what happened before," she sighed out, referring to Rin and Inuyasha. "So, you're telling me there's no way to find them yet… not without them showing themselves or…"

Sesshoumaru stopped and watched as she stopped a feet in front of him. There was a part of him that admired Kagome's determination to find his mother. There larger parts of him, like her, that questioned why his brother and Rin hadn't made themselves known. It implied that people knew, youkai that were members of his family and beyond. He couldn't imagine being able to keep a secret that well.

"In the city," he began, trying to offer something, "as I told you, it is hard to locate scent. A youkai's nose is very sensitive. With so many scents…" he it hang for a moment as she looked at him. "However, we could travel to the country on your next few days off. The scents are not as harsh as they are here. I could, possibly, scent out a youkai there and we could talk to them—see if they can give us a few contacts here in the city to find my family."

Kagome blinked a few times as the information sunk it. And then she grinned, moving forward to envelope him in a hug. As naturally as ever, he reciprocated. One hand went to rest on her head and the other around her shoulders as she squeezed him once—tightly.

"You're brilliant!" she exclaimed before pulling away and looking up at him. "I'll have to wait a few days and talk to mom about it, but still! It's more than I hoped for. Better than searching blindly."

The joy she felt, satisfaction, flooded his system and warmed his heart. Sesshoumaru couldn't help the small smile that formed. He didn't want to tell her that if his mother, daughter, and brother did not want to be found that might not be able to be found. He didn't want that hope to diminish because of further disappointment. Still, whatever control his mother exerted over the youkai population in Edo might not extend to outside of it.

It was easy for Kagome to have hope. He wasn't sure he had it in him to hope for anything beyond what he had with her now until the very day she died. And yet… her hope, brewing in him, made him remember what it felt like. In some way, it lit a candle within him, tiny as it was… and he didn't have the heart to blow it out.

And so, when she kept on grinning and moved on to walk back home all he said in reply was, "Indeed."

"Oh!" she started as they moved up the stairs to the shrine. Her hand came over her mouth for a moment before she glanced at him. "I forgot to tell you. You know that day you went and got my folder for me and I went to lunch?"

"Yes."

Kagome reached for the door and turned the handle. "I have a lunch appointment with the sponsor of the shrine tomorrow. Did you want to eat with us… or…?"

"Did they ask you bring someone along?"

"Well… no," she admitted as she sat down and pulled her shoes off while he shut the door. "I just figured you might want to go in person. She won't mind." One shoe was off and placed next to the line of others before she went to work on the next one.

As Sesshoumaru sat down to do the same he replied. "Then it would be better if I were either in my tattoo form or not there at all."

"I'd rather you be there." She frowned. "But, if you won't be there-there… well… I'll settle. I wanted to take you clothes shopping beforehand since I wasted a two-day search. Mom already gave me the money."

"Your brother's clothes are fine, Miko. You need not spend anything on me."

She stood up after placing the other shoe next to the first one and looked down at him while he worked on taking off his own still. "I already told you. You need clothes. Your own. I'm not going to force you, but I want to do this."

It had only been a few days, he realized as he looked up and met Kagome's gaze. A mere few days… and yet, it occurred to him that if he really wanted to refuse her… he could. She wouldn't be happy, but she wouldn't push it. And it hadn't been the first time, no. There had been a few others where he'd insisted on doing things his way and Kagome had let it go. He realized also, that if she really wanted to push this that he could go right on arguing and she wouldn't use her trump card; that is, if her previous actions were anything to go on.

He suddenly felt like he was outside of his body looking at himself; like he was seeing a man who could, quite possibly, believe that the spot he kept on looking for would never make itself known. But, there was a very bigger part of himself that said he'd been here before in the early days. Some of them took months; one or two had taken years. It could still happen. And then what? Reassemble what walls he was allowed carefully once more, all the while licking his wounds and reassuming his former demeanor?

He wondered what his former self would say could he look at him now. The old Sesshoumaru. The one that commanded respect with merely his presence. It was not something he had thought about for a long while. It was something his mother had stolen from him; it was something, in part, that he had likely stolen from himself by simply not speaking with her more—perhaps being more honest. The old Sesshoumaru might have said it was none of her business; he had. Now, he secretly wondered, never voicing it, what might have happened if he had simply set aside his pride and told her he had not been ready—that he might not have ever been ready. What would she have said if he'd told her that he would have, perhaps, been fine with Inuyasha taking over the Western Lands with Kikyo so that he might live as he wanted to? Doting, in his own way, on his grandchildren, nephews, and nieces?

"Are you alright?"

It was whispered quite close to his face. Amber depths blinked when he noticed Kagome was crouching, hands on her bent knees, and peering at him in a concerned manner.

Would she always look at him that way?

She frowned and reached out, pushing aside strands. "Sesshoumaru?" she asked softly.

Her skin felt warm against his. Soothing enough to make him close his eyes and sigh out softly. His head dropped into her palm more out of want than habit. He would admit that much to himself.

"Did I say something wrong?" a pause. "We can go shopping another day… I just thought you'd want your own things." Her thumb rolled over his cheek.

"You did nothing wrong," he said back.

She was quiet for a while. He could hear her breathe in and out, one short—as if she were going to say something—and then back to normal again. He could sense her mouth open and shut. And then another thoughtful frown.

He could hear her mother in the kitchen cooking, not having heard them coming yet. The TV in the living room was Souta's doing, a little too loud. The boy laughed every once in a while at something on the program. And her grandfather… he wasn't sure. But it was all idle noise, comfortable in its own way… in a way it shouldn't be affecting him.

He finally opened his eyes and looked at Kagome, ever patient Kagome with her endless blue eyes lacking that spot—still. She smiled at him and he didn't have the heart to not lightly return it, knowing she was worried about something that had everything to do with her and absolutely nothing at all.

"I'm alright," he told her, knowing she would know he was lying. "I think I'll go to your room for a while." He stood, pulling away from her.

She stood with him, but let her hand drop. "You want me to bring you a plate?"

He nodded.

"You're sure?"

Contrary to what Kagome thought, being away from her did not hurt too terribly for a while. He could make due until then. "When will you be up?"

"A few hours? Two or three."

He nodded again. "That should be fine." Without much else, he turned and found his way to the stairs and went upward.

He needed to think; his mind, his thoughts, after all, were the only place hidden to him even if rarely anything else ever was.

* * *

Her mother had allowed Kagome and Souta to eat in front of the TV on the condition that not foodstuff ended up on the walls, floor, or them. Which, was her way of saying they were not to have an 'accidental' food fight; and that wasn't all that unlikely given their normal hijinks in front of the big screen. Kagome thought she had been kind, noticing Sesshoumaru was absent from the meal. Her mother had figured it out pretty quick: Kagome needed to kill two birds with one stone by having her meal and spending time with Souta so she could hurry up to her room. Souta wouldn't feel ignored and she wouldn't have to worry about her inuyoukai houseguest.

"Kagome?"

She stopped at the foot of the stairs before going up and turned to her mother's voice. "Yes? Is something up?"

Her mother was frowning; not an unusual occurrence, but it still made Kagome worry a little.

"I need to speak with you about something."

"Privately?"

"Yes. Can we go to the back yard?"

"Sure." The miko moved in that direction. She had a pretty decent idea about what this might be about, but didn't want to jump the gun. And so, once they were outside, Kagome merely turned to face her mother as she shut the door.

"So…?" she asked.

Her mother was still frowning even as she spoke. "I want you to know that I understand why you're acting the way you have been, and I decided to let it go… thinking you needed time."

"Acting?"

"Towards your grandfather."

So… it was what she thought it was. Kagome sighed. "Mom—."

"Let me speak first," she interrupted, holding up a hand. "I understand what he did to you was not right. Believe me, I'm not happy about it either. It's nothing you're doing directly, but, there is this… tenseness at dinnertime and when we're all together. We all sense it and say nothing."

"What do you want me to do? Forgive him?" she asked, hands spreading. "He could have asked me, you know? I wouldn't have said no, maybe. Instead he just gives me this gift and lets the cards fall where they may.

"That's not fair to me, mom. It's messed up."

"I understand that, but you will have to forgive him eventually. We all live in the same home, Kagome. He is your grandfather. He's not always… the wisest man, but he tries.

"And you know, as well as I do, that forgiveness isn't for him—it's for you."

"I know that… I… I'm not sure I can just yet, mom," she told her honestly, "I'm sorry. I don't…" She crossed her arms over her chest and dropped her head, looking to the side. "I don't want to fight with you, but this is something I have to figure out on my own. If... if dinner is that hard for you guys I can eat up in my room."

"I'm not trying to. And avoiding the family won't help matters…" she replied softly.

"Doesn't it bother you though?" Kagome asked, looking up at her again. "What he did?"

Her mother sighed and linked her hands together in front of her, she looked towards a window. "Of course it bothers me. I told you I wasn't happy. I wasn't happy about not being consulted or you being asked. And while it's not a valid excuse… your grandfather generally has a reason for the things he does—the way he does them.

"Have you considered asking him what those reasons are?"

Kagome watched her mother carefully, knowing what she meant, and yet not being able to wholly agree. If it had to do with her directly she felt she had the right to be asked—told. "I shouldn't have to. He should have been up front with me, mom."

"Don't you want to know?"

"Do you?"

"I asked him about it the morning I first met our newest houseguest. He… wouldn't tell me. In fact, your grandfather was quite vague, but…"

"You think I should talk to him, at least."

She nodded. "Yes."

Kagome grumbled and turned. She leaned back into the outside wall of the house and crossed her arms over her chest. "I want to… kind of? I just… I'm still _so_ mad at him."

She felt her mother come up to her and place a hand on her shoulder, but Kagome didn't look at her. "I don't expect either of you to fix this overnight, daughter mine… However, I do ask that you think about this discussion. Anger does not go away by itself; the one who is angry must consciously let it go. It's a choice, Kagome."

"I know." She couldn't help pouting. It seemed stupid.

"Just think it over. Promise me that much?"

"…Alright."

With that being the end of that, Kagome went right back into the house and up to her room. Her mother went back to the kitchen to clean up with her brother. When she opened the door she felt conflicted, a little torn, and a bit hurt. It was hard to be angry with her mother when she understood her side of it. And yet, her mother had to know this was her grandfather's doing, not Kagome's. The rift in their relationship, and by default in the house, had been caused by him—not her. She didn't think it would be impossible to forgive him, but now was just not that time. She wasn't ready yet; especially since there was so much she didn't know. And part of her wanted to ask him, but the idea of talking to him made her angry all over again.

She wasn't normally this… she didn't hold grudges. But then, no one had ever shackled her with a youkai slave before without asking her. And no matter how Kagome tried to dress it up, at the end of the day… Sesshoumaru's life was not his own. It would never be, not unless she mated with him. Or died and someone else did. And how fair would that be to him? To let him go on with her for years and years, only to wind up in this situation again with—potentially—someone who was just like all his other masters?

She hadn't thought about it too much, but she really needed to start… Because… what if they found everyone anyway and their still wasn't a way out of this?

No, she couldn't think that way. Couldn't.

"Miko?"

Kagome hadn't realized she'd been standing there for a while after she shut the door; however, the moment Sesshoumaru's voice cut through her thoughts, it occurred to her that she still had her hand on the doorknob. "I'm alright," she told him, looking where he sat on her bed with a book. He was wearing a pair of Souta's PJs without a shirt. His long hair was undone, pooling on the mattress behind him in some silver cascade of strands. His bangs hung over his eyes just so, barely concealing them. And when he caught her gaze, like amber-honey, Kagome swallowed a warm sensation that hummed in her throat. This was especially so when his brow furrowed and those same eyes softened.

He was worried about her; though, she was worried about him too.

She dropped down next to him, one leg hanging off with the bottom of her socked foot rubbing the floor. Her hands went to her lap and she looked towards a wall as she idly rubbed fingers and palms together in some nonsensical pattern.

All the while Sesshoumaru said nothing. But, she knew he wasn't reading his book either.

So, after a while, she said to no one in particular, "I never imagined my life would be like this."

"Nor mine," he agreed.

Kagome took a deep breath in and let it out. "I shouldn't even be complaining. Somehow complaining to you just… it doesn't feel right."

"Why?"

"Because, my problems are just… next to yours? They seem silly. Stuff like Himura."

"And your grandfather?"

"That too." Her smile was sad. "You could hear all that?"

"No… just a wild guess given how quiet you've been during dinner. Those are, after all, the only times your grandfather is present with the rest of the family. And, they are the only meals you've been so silent."

She supposed it wasn't just her mother then. She shouldn't be surprised that he'd picked up on it. He was, after all, a daiyoukai. Even if he didn't know her regular patterns, they still had lunch and breakfast with her mother and Souta. Sometimes her grandfather didn't dine with them then.

"My mother wants me to talk to him."

"You don't."

Kagome shook her head and looked down at her hands. "Just too angry to still. Plus, it doesn't help that we still don't know anything about where anyone is. We're still no closer to fixing this mess with you. And I… I just don't understand any of it.

"I mean, Inuyasha running away means he knows something. Why else would he run? I know it's been five hundred years, but the Inuyahsa I know doesn't run like that… not unless…" she closed her eyes. "And my mother thinks I should ask my grandfather about it because he might know something, but…"

"You're still angry and not ready to forgive."

She nodded again. And then came the quiet. She didn't know if he had advise to dispense or not, but in some way it was nice. "Can I rest my head on your lap?" she asked. "It's just been a really awful day, I think. Not just for me."

He didn't say anything, instead tugging her over so that she could move to rest her cheek on his thigh. His legs were crossed. The position elevated her head, but she didn't mind. It was comfortable, especially when he started running his fingers thought her hair in a petting fashion. And the silence ensued, but it didn't bother her for the length of time it lasted.

Eventually, he asked, "Was it difficult for you?"

"Was what difficult?"

"…My brother choosing Kikyo over you."

She thought about it, how to explain it. Had he asked her years ago she might not have been able to talk about it at all. But now… now she was happy he was just asking something, even personal. She didn't care why or for what reason.

"At first? Yeah," she started. "I… I think the hard part was that I couldn't even hate her for it. I just… I hated the pain that came with the rejection. I'm not sure I ever believed he would choose me, but there had been this hope that his happiness meant my own. You know?"

"I do not."

"You've never been in love?" She guessed she could see that.

"Never."

"Is that why you didn't want to…"

"To mate?"

"Yeah."

There was a brief pause; his hand stopped its motion. And then, it began to move again as he replied finally. "I don't think I was ready," he admitted. "I was accustomed to doing things as I saw fit, when I saw fit. It was much of the way of things with Rin. What boundaries she had she was not even aware of. I grew up knowing I was one of the most powerful beings in Japan and never saw any reason to bow to another, even if that person was my own mother."

She smiled at that, unable to stop the memory of Sesshoumaru from before.

He went on, "Mostly… I was too full of myself and I wanted to do things when I wanted to."

"There's nothing wrong with that. Well, the wanting to do things when you wanted to." She turned on her back then so she could look up at him. "I'd kind of freak out if my mother forced me to get married and have kids."

"Your era is very different, Kagome," he murmured.

It was the first time he'd ever said her name and she wondered, silently, if that meant anything. "Yeah…" she agreed, not quite meeting his eyes, "but… that doesn't mean you're wrong.

"It should have been your choice."

"Is that why you're upset with your grandfather?"

"What do you mean?"

He leaned in closer. "Are you sure you're not just angry about my predicament? Is that why you can't let it go?"

Her eyes narrowed in thought. She… hadn't really considered that… "You think I should forgive him as well."

"I do not think you should do one thing or another."

"Then why ask?"

Another long pause of quiet, long enough that Kagome worried. So, she asked instead, whispering, "What's wrong, Sesshoumaru? Why… why didn't you want to eat with the family?"

And then his eyes closed, but he didn't pull away. He was close enough that he had to support his upper body with his arms; strands of his hair hung in her vision and tickled her cheeks. All of it… it was weird being this physically close to someone, this comfortable, and not being in some kind of relationship. Kagome had never had that before. Half the time she didn't know if it was what he wanted, or, if he did it because… and that hurt in some way.

"Does this bother you?" she asked next when he didn't answer. "Being this close. I don't want you to do it because you feel like you…" she trailed off, unable to finish when his eyes opened and he locked on her gaze. Finally, "I… I worry about you, Sesshoumaru…"

"I'm not doing this because I have to," he told her softly. "Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"No."

"When I kiss you does it make you uncomfortable?"

"…No."

"When I make love to you does it make you uncomfortable?"

A blush came at that and she hesitated.

"Kagome?" he implored, not begging and seeming quite serious.

"…I just worry," she repeated. "I worry that you do the things you do because you've been…"

"Abused?" he asked.

"I didn't want to say it."

"But you feel it. In turn, I feel it."

She nodded, unsure of what to say anymore.

"I keep looking or the spot," he told her softly, honestly.

"Spot?" Now she was confused, embarrassment forgotten briefly.

"There is always one," he went on. "Everyone has it eventually. The telltale sign that, eventually, the house of cards will fall—that I will be treated as I have always been. And… you do not have it—yet."

"But you think I will." It would be easy to be hurt by that revelation. Some part of her was hurt that he thought she would use him as everyone else had at some point. Kagome wasn't sure she would ever find it within her, and, even if she did… she didn't want to know that version of herself.

"There is no assurance but your word. This Sesshoumaru has learned that doesn't go very far, be it weeks, months, or years."

"I understand." It hurt, but she did. She looked away, but it was Sesshoumaru who tugged on her chin and silently asked that she looked at him once more.

"It is… very difficult for me to imagine trying once more to trust someone else that way. Despite everything within me telling me I should not let my guard down ever again… I am conflicted with you.

"This Sesshoumaru does not know what to do. That is why I had to decline dining with your family."

He had sort out his thoughts, she realized. Even now, he still didn't know what to do and it was wearing him down. Kagome reached up; fingers slid along his cheek and into strands of silver-white. Her palm cupped and she smiled softly. "I would never hurt you intentionally, Sesshoumaru. I just want you to be happy."

"I know," he said, whispering and leaning into her hand. "I can sense nothing but that desire. That, more than anything else, keeps me conflicted.

"No one has ever wanted as much for me so thoroughly."

Something warmed in her chest, blooming. "I would never ask."

"You would never have to. Some part of me, I think, despite all my best efforts, and regardless of this conversation, has already put forth trust in you, Kagome.

"Some part of me has decided all on its own, without consulting my better judgment at all." And then he moved it to press a kiss to her forehead gently. But, Kagome couldn't keep whatever was within her from acting. She leaned upward, bypassing his motion, and met his lips instead. Her arms went around his head as he reciprocated, tongue curling across her own. His mouth slid, deepening the action she started.

And when Kagome exhaled, all she could think was, _Where is this all going?_

* * *

**AN :: **Sooo… s'been a while. And, no, I obviously didn't forget about this fic. I'm just lame and have a life that sucks up my life from time to time. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. Next chapter should get more interesting.

—**Blade**


	9. Chapter Nine

.

.

.

.

The Taming of the Stubborn Inuyoukai

* * *

_It's been one week since you looked at me_

_Threw your arms in the air_

_and said "You're crazy"_

_Five days since you tackled me_

_I've still got the rug burns on both my knees_

_It's been three days since the afternoon_

_You realized it's not my fault_

_not a moment too soon_

_Yesterday you'd forgiven me_

_And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry._

—_One Week - Barenaked Ladies_

* * *

**Chapter Nine**|Dog Fight!

Bright blue eyes opened with the dawn; they drew careful patterns in the flat white of her ceiling as her body bathed in the warmth it was wrapped in—as it bathed in the comfort of bare skin against another's. She sighed and stretched her arms upward, careful not to knock her knuckles against the headboard. At the same time she wiggled her toes and her whole body shifted just so. Her bedmate growled a purr against her throat and she had to stifle a laugh, not wanting to wake him just yet. Though, it occurred to Kagome that if she wanted to get up then she wouldn't have much say in the matter.

With a mindful yawn she reached over and grabbed her cellphone from the nightstand and pulled up the main screen. Text messages… there. She opened the first and only one. Huh, it was from Kimi-san.

_Can't make it for noon. Is dinner alright instead? An emergency came up. Let me know if seven is alright._

Kagome blinked a few times, considering. What did she have to do today aside from go to the mall? Some training, she supposed. That she'd planned to do in the back yard… but… if Kimi-san wanted to do dinner instead…

And new idea began to form in her head; something a little different that she hadn't done in at least six months. Granted, it was cold as all hell outside but… Her gaze shifted to a sleeping Sesshoumaru. She considered the night before, the conflict, and all of the pent up aggression. Not just hers, but his own.

Kagome looked back at her phone and began to type a message.

_Dinner sounds perfect. Where would you like to meet?_

She waited a few moments. It would likely be silly to think Kimi-san had time on her hands to text if she were busy with an emergency, but Kagome figured she'd stare at it for a bit longer before shutting off the screen and putting her phone down.

But, sure enough, the device beeped a tune and she read the reply.

_I'll send a car to pick you up at 6:30. I hope that's not a problem?_

Kagome replied, telling her it wasn't. But, she needed to know what dress attire would be required. When Kimi-san told her formal kimono Kagome told her that would be great and that she'd be sure to be ready on time. Goodbyes were given and the miko finally put her phone back down. She wondered just what the emergency had been, hoping that—perhaps later—she could find out.

Ah man, this did mean she'd have to beg her mother to pull out some of spring kimono from storage. Or perhaps she bribe Souta with the promise of bringing back goodies. Maybe. It was a good thing her grandfather liked to keep traditional items for festivals and the like or she would have been hard pressed to inform Kimi-san she didn't have anything _that_ nice.

Speaking of which, wasn't the old man planning one soon? It was another thing she'd have to ask her mother about. But, in the meantime, she had a daiyoukai to wake up.

He was coiled around her in such a way that she found no real trouble in shifting her legs so they would straddle him she rolled them over—him onto his back with her atop. She grinned as she blankets and sheet slid down her bare back and he groaned with a half yawn. She earnestly laughed when he put his wrist over his eyes and yawned again—well enough for her to see into his mouth, to get a good view of his canines.

"What time is it?" he murmured.

"About seven," she told him sweetly, bending down to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"You don't have to work today," he reminded her, surprising her when both arms were wrapped solidly around her well enough to pull her chest flat down onto his. She grinned when he forced her face to rest in the bend of his neck, when his own went to hers and he inhaled the tussle of back strands that muffled his feature from her.

"Yes, that's true," she agreed, smiling. "But, I do have other things. And I have a few plans that involve you. Unless you're too tired…?" She didn't laugh, forcing herself not to before she said, "Did you wear yourself out last night, Lord of The Western Lands? Or did I?"

And then he rolled her over and placed himself between her legs; the length of him slid along her core once—pressing and hardening as honey-amber met her gaze with electric promises. "Is the miko challenging This Sesshoumaru? I assure you nothing will get done today if she is."

It was hard to take him seriously right then, but it was equally difficult not to when he was looking at her like that.

So, she did the only thing she really could. Kagome leaned up and pressed a kiss to his mouth, one that had them both opening to one another. And when she pulled away his body was languid enough that she could manage slipping out of bed. Grinning with her back to him, she made her way to the shower. "I'm going to get cleaned up, alright? We've got a ton to do today since Kimi-san canceled lunch."

"Are you not seeing her at all then?"

"I am, but for dinner. So, I'm going to take you shopping first. The rest is kind of a surprise." And before he could ask her anything else she slipped into the bathroom. She didn't think he would; it wasn't _exactly_ a surprise, but she kind of wanted it to be.

_Today needs to be a good day_, she told herself. _It has to be_.

* * *

By the time Kagome knocked on Souta's door, tray of food and drink held precariously in one hand, she was sure Sesshoumaru had started dressing. Unfortunately, her mother had shopping to do today; groceries mostly. There was no way she could count on her to pull a few kimonos from storage to air out and spray lightly to get rid of the musty smell. Her only hope, short of asking her grandfather, was her little brother. And given her feelings about the old man—the ones that weren't exactly ebbing very quickly—her only real hope was Souta if she wanted to go forward with her plans.

He didn't have classes today, thankfully. He wouldn't for a few more days with the break in full swing. Kagome, having chosen to take spring semester off for her job, didn't have worry about her own until at least August. She supposed, all considered, it wasn't bad thing. She had enough to consider with Sesshoumaru without university studies on top of it. Though… it did make her think about adamant her grandfather had been in support of taking time off for work…

She blinked out of her thoughts when she heard a thump from Souta's room. He still hadn't answered… With a frown she reached for the knob.

"I'm coming in," she said loudly before entering. But, it appeared the oldest Higurashi really didn't have much to worry about. Her brat of a brother was snoring loudly, lying on his side. The noise, she realized, was a book that had fallen off his bed and onto the floor.

Kagome rolled her eyes as she stepped into the room and shut the door with her butt. Both hands held the tray as she came to side of his bed and sat down. Once she placed it on his nightstand she reached over and shoved him lightly. "Wake up, Souta…" she sing-songed. He grumbled, but didn't move. With a grin, Kagome began to poke at his cheek. "Time to rise, imp," she said next, only laughing when he swatted her hand.

"Why… what…?" he finally opened his eyes and blinked at her. "What time is it…?" he asked next, looking for his alarm clock.

"Eightish," she told him.

He moaned a protest and rolled over, giving her his back. "_Why_ did you wake me up? Go away."

"I made you breakfast," she offered sweetly.

He was silent for a moment; it was long enough that Kagome began to wonder if he went back to sleep. But soon enough he rolled over and sat up, looking at the platter of eggs and juice with toast on his nightstand. Groggy eyes turned to her, leveling a telling look. "What do you want?"

She pouted just so and looked upward. Her mouth twisted as she leaned back with her hands on her knee. "Well… Kim-sam changed our meal plans. I'm having dinner with her instead and wanted to get a few things done today… But, the dinner is a little formal and I need you to air some kimonos…"

"Why doesn't mom just do it?" he asked, scratching his bed head.

Kagome reached for the tray of food and held it for him as he adjusted himself to sit up better. "She's got her own stuff today. Grocery shopping, mostly."

"And gramps?" He pulled the legs out on the tray before he took it from her and set down.

"Still mad at him."

"Figured." With a yawn Souta grabbed a spoon and began scooping at his eggs and shoveling them into his mouth. "Yeah… I guess I can. You know which ones you want pull from storage?"

"Something for spring. No yukata and make sure it's formal attire."

"I think we've still got a few furisode."

She nodded. "That'll work. Nothing red though."

"Sure." He took another bite or two and then washed it all down with his juice after swallowing. "How's your boyfriend?"

Kagome frowned at the term, not entirely sure if she should scold him for it. Then again, there wasn't really a word for what Sesshoumaru was to her other than slave. And he hated that word more. So, she decided to let it go, even if the word boyfriend implied he had a say in their connection. "Good, I guess. He wasn't in a bad mood this morning."

"He has moods?" Souta's brow rose.

Kagome stuck her tongue out at him, wishing instead she could grab a pillow and smack him with it. "Yes, Souta, Sesshoumaru has moods. He's just very... internal. And really, I don't blame him."

"Where you taking him today? Said you had plans, right?"

"Well… the cherry blossoms are blooming right now… but, I was thinking of going to my spot."

"Better him than me."

Kagome laughed at that.

"Gonna be a hike though. I can see why you wanna leave early." He then began to munch on his toast.

"Sorta. Once we get to a certain point I think I can get him to fly us the rest of the way." When she didn't go with Souta Kagome would usually cut her time in half by using her miko energy. "I still have to go shopping first."

"That should be interesting. If I didn't have to air out kimonos I might go with you. Actually… knowing you and knowing he's a youkai… it would be worth it." He frowned, body slumping a bit.

Kagome could only smile, leaning in his direction with one hand placed on the mattress. She reached over and ruffled his hair, chuckling when he grumbled and swatted her hand away. "We'll take you another time. I promise. Maybe next week. Sound good?"

"I'm not a kid, you know." At this he took a large bite, looking a little too much like a chipmunk.

"Getting there." She stood up then. "Thanks though. I'll bring you something back from dinner later. Just make sure the kimonos are ready by four. She'll be sending a car to pick me up around six-thirty." When he waved her off, too busy with food in his mouth, she just rolled her eyes and slipped out of the room.

Shopping first and then she'd come back home and grab a few things; then, to the spot; and finally come home to clean up and get ready. Sesshoumaru was probably already downstairs, eating; maybe even finished. She'd taken her breakfast while making Souta's. So, when she got to the bottom, she grabbed her bag and peaked in the kitchen. "Ready?" she asked, spying him on a bar stool as he took a swallow from a glass of water.

"I am," he told her once he set it down.

"Cool let's go. Did mom already leave?" She turned and went to the door to put her shoes on.

"Yes. And your grandfather went to tend to some matters in his office."

"It'll be a quiet day for Souta then I guess." With a grunt, she stood and only waited long enough for him put his own shoes on. After that, she went out into the morning air. She inhaled once the chill hit, and tightened the scarf around her neck before digging her hands into her coat pockets. Maybe she should have grabbed a hat…

"Where is This Sesshoumaru going?"

"The mall. We'll have a lot of options there; which helps… since I'm not entirely sure on your style. Do you have one?" She looked over at him then as they came to the bottom of the shrine steps and made their way out onto the sidewalk. He'd been wearing Souta's clothes the whole time; while her brother's sense of what looked good was ok by modern teen standards, she didn't know how Sasshoumaru felt about it. Overall, he seemed mostly indifferent.

"I have not contemplated it," he admitted once they came to a stop at the sign for the bus and began to wait.

"Why not?" Even if he didn't have much of say in what he wore before she couldn't imagine not having a preference.

He shrugged and the action felt out place on someone who was usually so… regal? "I did not have a reason to consider it."

"Well, you do today. Are there any colors you really like? Materials?"

"I am, admittedly, not fond of the jeans your brother wears. They are impractical were there a need to protect you."

Kagome smirked as she looked at him. "Well, most people don't wear hakama anymore. If you really wanted to though, you could. It's not entirely out of place since we live in a shrine."

He blinked a few times at that, meeting her gaze, perhaps not entirely sure if she was serious.

"What? My grandfather wears them all the time. He even goes into the city in them. No one bats a lash. How about we get a few and some modern cloths as well? Sound good?"

"That would be most acceptable."

"Awesome." She pulled her gaze away from his as the bus showed up and she got on, making sure to pay for the both of them before grabbing a seat in the back.

The ride was made in almost silence, giving Kagome some time to think. She wondered how long it had been since he'd worn a hakama or haori, much less an obi. Japan hadn't been westernized for too long; surely not by the standards of his life. And really, there was no telling how his other masters dressed him. Kagome, in truth, didn't have the heart to ask. Maybe one day, when he was free of it all. But, right now she just didn't want him thinking about the past—especially not when today was going to be good day.

By the time they arrived at the mall they'd switched busses once. It was at least nine and she was losing daylight. Also, it didn't really help that with spring break still in full swing, and with it being a Friday, that the mall was busy. She was happy when Sesshoumaru let her take his hand so she could lead him to the shops she knew would be best.

The first one had modern cloths; she wanted to get the hard stuff out of the way. It would be easy to lead him around and make suggestions, but it felt better to just let him wander and choose for himself. "I can hold things if you want to try them on," she told him when he stopped at another rack and flipped through a few shirts.

He stopped, stilling a moment. "They don't have anything I want."

"Well… what do you want?" She began. "We know you're not into jeans. Do you like t-shirts?"

"They are comfortable."

"So… you want comfortable stuff?" She let herself think, tapping her chin as her brow furrowed. "Did you like the dress shirts he had?" Kagome didn't have enough money to buy him nice suits. Slacks would be too restrictive if he didn't like jeans. And really, he couldn't run around in sweats; that would be too much.

But then, something hit her and she snapped her fingers before he could answer. "C'mon. I think I know a place." She wasn't sure it would be his style, per se… and, she had to admit it might look odd on someone like Sesshoumaru—someone who's branded image in her mind included Japanese silk kimono, hakama, and haori, but, well… maybe it would work. If he didn't like it they could always try again somewhere else.

She'd gone nearly across the whole strip of the mall when they finally made it. When she looked over to gauge his reaction she wasn't sure if he was hesitant or curious. With a smile, she just tugged him in.

The floor of the shop was painted concrete, shined into some rusted array of coppers and brass tones. High on the walls her were surfboards and decorative masks. On the tops of tables, walls racks, on sitting on the top of clothing racks were shell necklaces with shark's teeth, woven ones with beads, and stones statues with zen words on them. Most of it was all a novelty, but they hadn't come here for the junk.

When she followed him she noted the hesitance still; though, eventually curiosity won out and before long Kagome found her arms piled with thermal tees, loose fitting pants made of gauze, and a few other odds and ends. When he grabbed a pair of sandals and eyeballed them she said, "Get them, but you'd probably be better off wearing them in the summer." A few of the pants were a thick that looked to be made from kimono silk—thick enough for winter. So, she didn't say anything about the gauze ones or the ones made of a thinner material that were probably imported from India.

"You know," she told him, "There's a store here I think that sells jeans that are more comfortable than Souta's. People my brother's age like them tighter than I used to growing up. Did you want to give them a shot?"

"Do we have enough time?" he asked as they made way to the dressing room.

"Should. And I think you should have at least one suit for formal occasions. Then we'll get some traditional Japanese clothing and head back to the house." This was said as she hung his stuff up and just before he nodded and closed the curtain. Kagome waited in the main shop area.

The process wasn't long, but she found herself laughing every once in a while at the options he'd chosen. "No, just no," she told him after the third time because of clashing patterns. "Are you doing this on purpose? I thought you had a better eye than that."

"Do you want to come in here and help me?"

She stuck her tongue out at him as he raised his brows in question. "No. I'd rather not get kicked out before we buy it all." She put her hands on her hips. "Are you making a joke?"

And then he just smirked before shutting the curtain back.

Kagome shook her head, but the smile remained. It was another fifteen minutes before they finished. Next they purchased four pairs of jeans he liked; ones that weren't too tight and had been made for martial arts. Then they picked up a few hakama, haori, and obi. And finally, she had just enough money to buy him an inexpensive dress shirt, black slacks, and matching suit jacket. They had enough time to get back home, eat lunch, and then get on their way to the next destination.

_Round two_, she told herself as they got on the bus.

* * *

Surprisingly, Sesshoumaru didn't ask where they were going when they got on their way towards the outskirts of Tokyo. But, he did keep an eye on the world just outside the train window as it got greener and greener—as more of the forest and the natural wilderness of Japan took over. He remained ever silent as they got off and began the long walk. But, the miko had to break the silence once they were a good mile into the brush.

She stopped and turned to look at him on her right. "You think you can fly us the rest of the way?" She pointed up the mostly overgrown path. "About twenty miles that way?"

He looked in the direction she motioned to, pupils dilating and then narrowing. She watched as he inhaled deeply before shutting them and then eventually turned to look at her. "Are you certain we won't be seen?"

"There's really no one around for miles. I promise."

"Very well." Without much else, he took the long black back from her and slung it with the other over his shoulder. His hands came under her knees and back, lifting her as she wrapped one arm around his neck. And without any real warning, he leapt up through the tree and took to the air, careful to keep below the top boughs and avoid branches.

"Thank you," she told him over the noise of motion. "It would have taken a lot longer on foot."

He was silent again, just as silent as on the train. But, she could tell he was thinking this time; trying to form words from thoughts before he spoke them. "…Thank you."

"For?" Now she was confused.

"It has been some time since This Sesshoumaru has been outside the city."

It wasn't something she expected, but made her happy all the same. She could feel a touch of heat paint her cheeks and didn't feel worse for it. "I told Souta I would bring him next weekend with us if he wanted."

"We still need to make a trip to the country," he reminded her.

"I'll figure it out. Maybe just take him along for that too and kill two birds with one stone. It'll… Oh! Here! Land here," she told him, pointing below.

The space they dropped into was wide open, revealing a waterfall some hundred yards or so ahead breaking free from the mountainside. There was forest all around them, but the green space was open and a little overgrown with grass that was just starting to grow back. Up here it was cooler, crisper, and muffled away from the busy bustling life of Edo. She took it in, putting her hands behind her back to clasp as Sesshoumaru set down the bags. Her eyes closed, like his before, and she inhaled deeply. Birds chirped in the distance and a wind stirred her hair—it rustled leaves.

Her spot.

"It took me about a year to find it," she told him.

"This place?"

"Yeah…" she opened her eyes. "I wanted a place to come and let myself go, to not have to worry about holding back and scaring people. When I first started really working on my miko training with grandfather I couldn't do much. But, eventually, I got better. I learned how to control and manipulate it—my aura and power. It became easier to imbue more than just arrows with the energy. So, he told me to find a more suitable place other than the shrine. He used to come here with me, but after a while I did it a lot on my own between studies." Talking about it made her heart ache a little. She and Souta joked about how senile the old man was all the time, but… he knew a lot more than most people gave him credit for when it came to the old ways. Without him, it might have taken her twelve years to get to where she was instead of six. Maybe that's why it hurt so much, his betrayal… the closeness they'd shared as student a teacher had somehow been breached and she just didn't understand why he'd done it. But, she also didn't understand why any of it had happened at all—_why_ Inuyasha had run from her.

When Sesshoumaru touched her shoulder she realized she'd been holding her hand to her chest, clenched, and looking down. How long had she been quiet in her own memories? "Sorry," she murmured, meeting his gaze.

"What did you have in mind?" he asked instead.

And then she smiled brightly at him before turning to the bags. She knelt and zipped them open one at a time, revealing sheathed swords and appropriate clothing. She caught he gaze against as he looked at it all. "I think we both need to let loose a little. It's been rough since we were saddled together."

"…Are you certain?"

She smirked. "Are you afraid I'll hurt you, old man?"

"I could argue as much in your regard, miko."

"Is that a yes?" A brow rose. "I mean, when was the last time you really got to fight anyone? You know, in the last century? Swords aren't exactly legal in this country without a license and people tend to frown on bloodshed."

He sighed.

"You game or what?" she prompted. "I didn't come all the way out here to meditate."

"I do not want to hurt you," he said honestly.

She rolled her eyes and stood. Her hand went to her hips. "You won't. Believe me, I know what I'm doing. I need a good fight; I haven't had one since the feudal era and my skills were a joke at best then. Fighting a daiyoukai would be good for me—a challenge." Another smirk. "You sure you're not afraid I'll just wipe the floor with you. It's had to have been a while for you."

At that, he flicked her forehead, causing Kagome to yelp and cover the worried skin. "This Sesshoumaru thinks you are foolhardy, but he will acquiesce."

"Awesome!" She began to dig about for some clothes. "I'll go change in the brush. Pick something out and do the same." Without waiting for a response she jogged to the forest's edge. Some part of her realized it was silly only after she began to take off her clothes; he'd seen her naked plenty of times. But, maybe it was for the best; seeing him in his birthday suit might lead to other activities.

It took her five or so minutes to put on the black sweatpants, sweatshirt, sports bra, and to tie her hair back tightly. When she returned, it was to Sesshoumaru dressed similarly—picking at his clothes. If she'd seen him like this for the first time since she'd left the feudal era it would be difficult not the laugh. But it wasn't so bad now. Aside from the face markings and long silver hair, he looked like any other Japanese man getting ready for a jog in the cooler months.

"Something wrong?" she asked anyway.

He eyed the sweat shirt, tugging at the chest portion. "No. It will do." And the he dropped his hand.

She shrugged, thinking perhaps he'd never quite feel like himself until he got into the traditional clothes later. She bent towards the second bag and pulled out the sheathed blade Kimi-san had gifted her with for her birthday.

And suddenly, Sesshoumaru asked in a rather stiff tone, "Where did you get that?"

Kagome blinked as she stood and pulled the katana out of its sheath. Her brow furrowed at his expression: partially opened mouth and eyes just slightly wider than usual. He appeared surprised. "I had it the night you appeared. Don't you remember?"

"I do not."

She supposed he wouldn't with what they'd gotten up to. "Kimi-san gave it to me for my birthday. Why? Is something wrong?"

His eyes narrowed and his mouth shut. His jaw visibly flexed. In some way, Kagome could see the wheels turning in his head. "Sesshoumaru?" she asked again, a little worried.

"How did she come by it?" he asked next, ignoring her question.

"Kimi-san?"

"Yes."

Kagome shrugged. "As far I know it was a collected piece. I've met her on a few occasions to date and identify weapons."

"How exactly did you meet this woman to begin with?"

This was starting to get weird… "Well… about two years ago I found out she had an impressive sword collection that had been compiled over generations of her family. I made a few calls, pulled a few strings with other people that I knew, and arranged to see her. I wanted to know if she had tessaiga and tenseiga…" Kagome narrowed her eyes. "What's this about? You're acting strange even for you."

He met her gaze then, pulling it away from the weapon in her hand, away from the pearl gleaming in the sunlight overhead. She watched as he swallowed. "It was a family heirloom," he told her, "given by my father to my mother upon their engagement, and every bride before her."

Kagome's eyes went wide before the flicked to focus on the blade. The irony, in a way, was not lost on her. "I'm… wow… I'm sorry." She looked back at him. "Do you want me to use a different one?"

"No," he told her. "It is fine. I was just…"

"Taken off guard?" he offered when he trailed off.

"Indeed." Her shook his head, causing silvered bangs to sway just so, tickling his brow. "What do you want me to use?"

Kagome could sense the intensity leave him; he wasn't lying to her, she knew. But, she was still worried all the same. "Um… just pick one from the bag and we'll start, I guess. I don't think I need to make any rules, do I?"

"I am fairly certain we are both clear on trying not to injure one another."

"Just making sure," she told him when he finally chose a blade. It was another from her collection. The sheath was a dark abyssal color, wooden and carved with various designs in a painstaking clarity. The hilt had a traditional black and white wrapping. But, when he pulled it from its casing, the kanji on the weapon reflected.

"This is a youkai weapon," he told her.

"I could tell that yes."

"You would be able to, being a miko." He set down the sheath and turned the blade over in his hands. "It will do."

"Good." She set her own aside and began to walk to an appropriate place in the middle of the field. "Toss a rock. When it hits the ground it'll be the signal to go." Anticipation ran a rapid fire through her veins, pricking her skin and causing goosebumps. She couldn't help the way her muscles flexed, making her wonder why she hadn't thought of this sooner.

Once she was happy with the distance she turned to face him. And wasting no time, she allowed her aura to bloom around her; it was strong enough to be seen. Bits danced around like otherworldly flower petals, falling and rejoining before separating again. She could feel it in the center of her, suffusing and pouring forth into every crevice of her body. She could sense when his youki exploded. At this distance it was hard to see the red of his eyes or the elongation of his claws, but there was no mistaking his own aura—crimson red and radiating raw youki.

She was drawn to it, thinking that despite all of the natural, intimidating, and raw malice it gave off… that it was beautiful in its own way. She remembered this—this explosion of not just aggression, of power, of everything he'd somehow forgotten about when was on the cusp of a battle; no, it was more than that. She remembered the way he once was; that first meeting and the time after. The way he always stood proudly, profoundly, and in his own way having the same tenacity Inuyasha possessed. Inuyasha had always been loud and crass—speaking his mind in a hundred different ways and never willing to back down. But she realized Sesshoumaru had that too; it had been beaten out of him. And now… like this… she could see it again—a drive, an unspoken refusal to bend and break.

_Maybe it was hidden… all this time…_

She was so enthralled in him, in her own revelation, that she almost missed the stone toss. But when it hit the ground she kicked off the ground, body dashing the distance in a streak of electric magenta. Perhaps some part of her expected him not to move at all, to wait and do something else entirely. But instead, he kicked off at the same time, blade swinging in a controlled arc. A flare of red followed the stroke and the brilliant humming pink of her own weapon met his. When he drew back and struck again she moved to the side, counterattacking. He leapt back, barely missing the tip. And then he dove again. But this time when he struck she pulled her forearm up. Hesitation showed in his eyes and she smirked as the edge smacked against a barrier. The brief pause was enough for her slip past his defenses and strike. She stopped just short of piercing the material of his sweatshirt and they both halted. Pink and red, their auras, intermingled and mixed as she held the pose.

"Point," she told him, smirking. And the she jumped back, creating enough space to go after him again. They clashed weapons repeatedly, striking over and over—weaving and feeling each other's styles out. Kagome changed up as she needed to, not wanting him to get too used it her motions. Still, she couldn't help but laugh when he moved a little too quickly for her and she felt the heat of his blade on her back.

"Point," was all he said before she turned and swung, grinning and parrying his blade away. She pushed on, ignoring the way her lungs burned for air, the way her muscles screamed in beautiful agony, and the way her joints cried in protest. Blue depths caught his, wondering if he felt the same ferocity she did. She couldn't stop, she didn't want to. And she couldn't help but be satisfied every time his jaw flexed when she pressed her sword against his, using her power to force him back.

In that instance she pulled back, striking the same time he did. The shear momentum and raw pulse of energy broke the grip from her hand, his, and she held his gaze in surprise as the two blades twisted in the air before hitting ground, tip first.

For a moment, she wondered what to do; and then something snapped in his eyes—electric and all-consuming. She stepped back once, bracing herself as he cut the distance between them—wrapping her in an embrace and pressing his mouth to hers. She inhaled deeply though her nose at that, eyes shutting. Everything burned and coursed a blaze of liquid heat through her. His mouth took possession of her, branding all that he was into her. She couldn't quite describe it; it was so different—not just passion. She'd sensed youkis before, felt them, understood that signature of power and energy that was unique to each youkai. But this… she'd never felt it this way before. Some part of her felt like he was touching her soul. And suddenly she couldn't get enough. Her hands fisted in his top; she pulled at the neck, moaning into his mouth in a half cry as she ripped it in two down the center.

He growled, but it didn't sound angry to her. No, she could feel that it wasn't. Satisfied, that's that it was. He was happy. She could feel him ripping into the back of her clothes, pulling them asunder—bra and all. Kagome lost her footing, falling flat on her back. And yet it didn't stop her—him. She felt her bottoms come off, slipping past bare feet as her hands caressed over his chest, up around his neck, and then down and towards his back. He bit her neck a she drew her nails down his back. In tandem, he moaned into her throat as she cried out. The sounds intermingled and bounced off one another.

There was no preparation when he jerked her hips up and slid home. Kagome didn't need it, not with that glorious fire and cataclysm of feelings shooting through her. She rose to meet him. And after that, it was a blur of sweat, heat, and blissful release. She couldn't figure out where his touch began and hers ended. His mouth was on hers, her neck, and both breasts as he bit, nipped, suckled and kissed. And when tears of neither joy nor pain prickled at her eyes, he licked them away.

After she came she rolled them over, forcing him to relent even as her body shook with fervor—aftershocks. There were no words; only actions. She was submerged in want, desire, and euphoria. She was high on the rush of the fight, of this. Boldly, she took him in her mouth and satisfaction bloomed when he cried out loudly, half growling, and dug his fingers into her scalp and the long waves of ebony. Her tongue painted a path from base to tip; her teeth scraped and bit just enough to get a rise out of him; and it wasn't until she took him entirely in her mouth that he ripped her away.

She let him roll her into onto her stomach, let him jerk her hips upward, and the sounds that escaped her once he entered again—she was sure—were not sounds she'd ever made before. When he came this time she her muscles clamped harder than before, so much harder. She could feel her aura expand further—take root in a new way. In that moment his whole body stilled and the cry he released rang in her ears. In the end, Kagome was left panting as she listened to Sesshoumaru try to catch his breath as well. Her aura retreated, pulling away from his. Any strength remaining went with it and she collapsed to the grass. In the process he slid out of her and dropped onto her back, his cheek pressing into the space between her shoulder blades.

She was glad she didn't have the energy to speak; Kagome wasn't at all certain what she would say even if she did. It would be easy—too easy—to fall asleep there. And she seriously contemplated the pros and cons of doing as much for a good twenty minutes. But, eventually, she felt like could move again. The air was no longer comfortable but cold, and, it dawned on her that she was going to have to put her other clothes back on not only sweaty—but beyond dirty.

"What in the hell was that?" she asked as she shifted to move, as Sesshoumaru pulled away from her. When she sat up she rubbed her temples, trying to rid herself of a progressing headache.

"Something I had not expected," he admitted before attempting to stand. "Something I should have."

"You're being vague again," she told him, groaning as she stood up as well. God… she needed a bath.

He sighed. "It is nothing to worry about. Our auras intermingled and set off a chain reaction."

"A chain reaction of what?" she asked as she moved to pull her blade out of the ground.

His gaze followed her, watching the way her legs shook with each step. "It is a glimpse of what being a bonded pair would be like at its most intense. Sometimes youkis do not mix well; both parties will do what you would call a trial run before committing to one another."

"And have sex?" she asked him, brows high. "Isn't that jumping the gun a little even for youkai?"

He offered her with an impatient look. "It was not customary to couple."

"Then why did we—."

"Because, auras—your miko and my youki—became overwhelming due to our combat. Inadvertently, those auras interacted and reacted to one another, causing our coupling."

Kagome grabbed the katana she'd loaned him next, moving towards the bags. "Well, I guess that makes sense…" When she wobbled a little, almost tripped, she felt hands on her shoulders steadying her. "Thanks," she murmured.

"I'll put them away," he offered as he took both blades from her.

"Aren't you tired?" she asked.

"Extremely. But your needs are greater than my own."

She frowned, but followed him anyway and opted not to argue. "I wonder if I have enough time to grab a nap before I get ready. Crap… what time is it?" She knelt then, digging in the bag with clothes for her cellphone. Once she retrieved it and turned the screen on she sighed a little in relief. They still had enough left to make the last train home. She'd be able to get a shower, get dressed, and be well on her way to where Kimi-san wanted to eat.

But god, she couldn't lie to herself. She felt better… so much better. Even thinking about her grandfather then didn't quite make her as angry. She felt too good to be angry at anyone. Being with him, like that, it felt good…

"Is it always like that?" she asked as she got dressed slowly, as she snapped her bra straps into place and adjusted the bust. Ah man… no undies… Well, at least she'd been wearing pants, right? Too cold for a skirt. She slipped into a long sleeve shirt and then tugged her knit sweater on.

"The coupling between mates?"

She nodded as she sat down and put her socks on.

"Not always; that kind of intensity all the time would leave you unable to do much of anything. However, during the heat it is always that way."

"Mating season?"

"Yes." By then he'd gotten most of his clothes on. All that was left were his shoes and socks.

Kagome smiled and she slipped her jeans on and buttoned them up. "What? Do you guys just stay inside for a few days?"

"A week, but yes. The heat comes at different times for each youkai; it's not seasonal but biological." He paused. "I once considered it bothersome."

"Really?" She was shocked, not entirely sure if that was because he'd admitted it or because some part of her had thought him to be a sex god even in the past. But that had probably been too many romance mangas talking to a fifteen year-old her.

"Very much so," he said as they both stood and grabbed a bag after they were zipped closed. Sesshoumaru took hers and then picked her up in his arms, leaving the same way they had come.

"Is it bothersome with me?"

He smiled and looked down at her. "Why would you ask that?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. I guess I'm still trying to figure out if you want this."

"I have yet to do anything I would not enjoy doing with you, Kagome."

Her cheeked pinked a touch and she smiled. "Good. If it ever is, I want you to tell me."

"I shall."

"Promise?"

"This Sesshoumaru promises to tell you if ever a time comes where making love to you is bothersome, miko."

Kagome curled into him and closed her eyes, enjoying the way the air swept over them both and tousled her hair. She pressed a kiss to her neck and let her cheek rest on his collarbone and shoulder. "Was is bothersome before… when…?" she asked softly, knowing he would hear her. She swallowed once. "I want it to be better, you know…"

"You have said as much before," he agreed gently, quiet in thought. She could feel it even if she couldn't hear what he was thinking. The emotions that passed between them gave her a glimpse. "It was not always bothersome, but it was rarely ever good." Another pause. "And it was never before as it is with you."

Vague again, not entirely earth-shattering insofar as giving her an idea of what he meant. But, she understood what he wasn't saying either. And that warmed her. She wondered if it would really be wrong to fall in love with him, to commit to becoming his mate… Would he want that?

"Sesshoumaru?" she asked softly.

"Hm?"

Kagome licked her lips and stared at the pale skin of his neck. "Would you want to mate with someone?" She exhaled deeply, poignantly. "…with me?"

"Are you asking if I would _want_ to, not _have_ to?"

She nodded.

He didn't say anything right away, thinking that happened a lot to him when they had these kinds of discussions. But it wasn't an easy question to answer, especially when it was one he'd not been asked earnestly before that he could remember. "I would do almost anything for my freedom, Kagome," felt to him to be the most honest reply.

"But would you want to?"

"…I do not know." He looked down at her as they landed finally and he gently set her on her feet. Blue met amber as she took a step back, hands on his chest. "However… if it had to be with someone of my choosing, someone from the list of those who have possessed me, it would be you.

"Does that answer your question?"

_Not quite_, she wanted to say. But what in the hell was she looking for? For him to say he loved her? She'd done things with him she'd never done with another man, things she'd never even considered doing with Inuyasha. The things they'd shared too, the nights together where they talked about her day and his… it all blended together into something she couldn't help but want that all the time—want the way he curled into her in the middle of the night and purred—of all things—into the back of her neck.

"I think…" she started, voice a little broken and full of something as she stared at his chest. "Maybe I'm asking because I'm falling in love with you," she admitted, willfully pushing the words out. Her hand reached for his, taking it in her two. She pressed his palm between her breasts and looked up into his eyes—at the way they widened, at the way his lips parted just so at her verbal revelation.

She felt a heat prickling at her cheeks, her throat and behind her eyes. But it didn't hurt. She was happy, really happy. The rawness of that feeling flooded her and she couldn't help how it poured into him from their connection. "Can you feel that?" she asked. "Maybe that's why I don't want it to end. But, because of that, because of how I feel, I don't want you to do it because you feel like it's the only way out, Sesshoumaru.

"I have no idea what you've been through, you know?" she released him so that she could wipe away a tear. "I don't know how many people hurt you before you got to me. And it's hard. I worry… I worry that you're right. I worry that it can't be broken, the curse." Kagome let him embrace her, allowed him to soothe away the ache she felt on his behalf, and allowed her frame to swallowed by his larger one. She exhaled, ridding herself of the tears and winding down in her exhaustion. It overcame her and all was dark and warm.

* * *

Kagome didn't wake up until they were home and crossing the threshold of her front door. Sesshoumaru was glad for that. He could rest while on her body as the tattoo during the dinner. But, Kagome would have not been able to get much if she wanted to be ready.

"Is that you, Kagome?" he heard her brother call from another part of the house.

"In here," Sesshoumaru called back as Kagome wiped sleep from her eyes and stood groggily.

"What… happened?" she asked, blinking a few times as her blue eyes focused on him.

"You passed out," he explained. "But we are home now. Your brother is calling for you."

"I'm sorry," she said at once. "I didn't meant to."

"It is fine." He squeezed her shoulder for reassurance.

"There you are," Souta said, coming into the room from a door across the room Sesshoumaru had not yet explored. "I've got the kimonos ready. You up to picking one out before you get a shower?" His eyes narrowed as he looked her over. "…Maybe two?"

"Shut up, imp," she grouched. "Where are they?"

"In the shrine." He jutted a thumb behind him. "I also found something else pretty interesting, if you want to look."

"Like what?" she asked as she followed behind him when he started in that direction.

Sesshoumaru adjusted the bags on his shoulder. "I'm going to put these away," he told her.

Kagome stopped and turned to look at him over her shoulder. "Just leave on the floor. I'll put them away later." And then she waved for him to join her.

He thought to argue with her, but with the need for his own rest dangerously close there wasn't much heart to be had in the action. Thus, he but the bags back down and followed the two siblings. As he passed through the shrine entrance from the main part of the home Sesshoumaru realized he'd never actually been inside of it before. But, like other shrines, it had a wide open space with hard wood floors, scrolls on the walls with various expressions or images, and an alter at the foremost center back wall. Incense was burning faintly; the scent made his nose wrinkle. As he looked towards the center he could see that Souta had a few kimonos hanging out on racks with obis.

"Oh, you grabbed the good ones," Kagome told Souta as she looked at each one. "I like them all, honestly." She turned to Sesshoumaru. "Which one do you think I should wear?"

The inuyoukai took a moment to gaze at each one, equally admiring all of their colors and patterns. They would all look lovely on her, but… the one with the cherry blossoms painted in a blue with white as the primary color and black along part of the sleeves and the bottom edges reach out to him the most. He pointed to it. "The color will match your eyes."

She nodded. "I think you're right. I might have a hair piece to match it."

"So, did you want to see what else I found?" Souta asked from the side, hands on his hips. "Or are you just gonna ogle your pretty dresses?"

"You're being an asshole, you know," The miko told her brother.

"Yeah, so what? You wanna see or not?"

"Fine, whatever. You're going to drive me crazy until I do anyway." She waved her hand dismissively. "Show me."

Souta then turned to a crate on the floor. The lid had already been pried open with a crowbar, so he lifted it with ease. "Look, it's really cool. Usually we just have ceremonial stuff, you know? Nothing with armor like this." He smirked. "Not since mom made gramps get rid of those broken chestplates."

"We still have the samurai armor," she argued with a frown. "I thought you liked that one."

"I do, but this is different. Looks too new to be an antique. Maybe a cosplay. Do you think the old man would buy a cosplay on accident?"

"What? No…" Well, maybe… But she doubted it. "Quit being a moron," she huffed as she came over to the box. "He's a little weird, I'll give you that, but he knows his… an… tiques…" Kagome's hands settled on the lips of the crate and she frowned at the contents. "Sesshoumaru…?" she asked.

"Yes?"

She waved him over, not once looking away from the folded silk in blues, whites, reds, and golds. The dark armor looked shined and clean. The silver of what she considered shoulder guards gleamed in what lighting they had in the main hall of the shrine.

Kagome, unable to stop herself, leaned down and ran her fingers over the thick steel and swallowed. Was this supposed to be some kind of weird omen? First the sword and now this? Just where had it come from?

"Have we always had this…?" she asked, pulling her hand away as she felt Sesshoumaru move to stand next to her.

"I don't think so," Souta said with a shrug. "It was way in the back though. I kinda got bored after I got the kimonos out and went digging since mom didn't need me today and gramps is MIA."

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed as the siblings spoke to one another. Golden hues focused on the clothing, a mixture of memories filling him—good and bad. His gaze rolled over it, features impassive. He took in the colors, the newness of it, and asked himself… was someone trying to toy with him? With Kagome?

The last time he recalled wearing this item was the day before the evening his mother set the curse upon him. The binding gave him new attire, the clothes Kagome had initially found him in. At the time he'd been sleeping in a yukata. The clothing in the box… it had been set aside for the following day, cleaned and ready for the morning. He'd always kept several of this same style hakama and haori for when he went out, for when he journeyed. They were family colors… the red and white were more than any other. Wearing them announced his pack affiliation. His mother rarely ever donned the red, especially after his father's infidelity…

He hadn't even realized he'd picked up the haori, the armor slipping away from it, until Kagome asked him if he was alright. He didn't look at her then; didn't say anything. Instead, he just stared at the fabric in his hands… rubbed the soft silk between his thumbs and thought on all the time he'd missed with Rin—Rin who had spent more time with him while he wore this than any other individual.

"You can have it," Kagome told him. "If you want. I mean, it's yours. I don't know how it got here, but if grandfather has a fit over it I don't care."

Part of him wanted to tell her no; a very large part of him wanted to toss it back into the box and forget it existed. And yet… another part of him wanted the exact opposite. And in the end, the good memories won out. He nodded.

"You should wear it tonight," she told him. "Well, probably not the armor." Out of the corner of his eye he watched her smile. "I'll wear the red and blue furisode with the geometric shapes instead and we'll match."

He looked at her fully then.

She sighed and put her hands behind her back. "I know you said you didn't want to eat with us. You don't have to. But, it'll make me feel better if I know you're wearing it, even if you aren't there."

"How much time do we have?" he asked softly.

"'Bout three and half hours," Souta told him.

Sesshoumaru repressed the urge to sigh as he held Kagome's gaze—one that was filled with all the love she'd admitted to earlier. Cracking… everything he'd build up over the years… hundreds of years… was cracking. Crumbling and falling—all the walls and iron-barred windows. And the longer he went on with her, without force on her part or orders, or punishment… without that spot… without hate, malice, without pain…

When had anyone other than Rin told him that they loved him? He could remember the girls in court, a few soft confessions when he'd been younger behind a veiled balcony or hidden alcove… Ages ago… they hadn't known what they were saying. He hadn't really known what they felt, what he felt. But Kagome… he could feel that. He could see it in her eyes. Every smile, every touch, every laugh was filled with her unconditional love.

"I will accompany you," he told her. "But, I will need time to rest. Two hours in my tattoo form in your body will give me enough sleep."

Kagome's eyes widened—brightened even. Everything about her lit up, and that poured into him too. He wondered if there would ever be too much of that feeling, if he would overfill like a goblet with too much wine.

"If you're sure," she said.

He nodded once.

Kagome clapped her hands together and turned to Souta. "Help me get this stuff upstairs."

"Man… all this manual labor better get me something good—that's all I'm sayin'."

The miko ignored her brother and gave Sesshoumaru a hug. "Thank you," she whispered, "really. You don't know what this means to me. All of it."

He did, but he didn't think he needed to voice it.

* * *

Kagome was ready by six-fifteen sharp and waiting at the bottom of the stairs with a white faux fur stole around her shoulders and small silk bag in her hands. Her hair bad been pulled back and her bangs pulled to the side—straight and loose. The rest of it was held by a comb given to her by her mother; blue flower petals blinked in the light. The kimono itself had long sleeves; the material nearly draped to the floor when her arms were resting at her sides. Red and blue honeycomb shapes dotted the sleeves and bottom of the garment; flowers in gold and off-white made up the rest; however, white became the prominent tone. The underkimono had a red collar that bore a stark contrast to the white while also tying in with furisode itself. Her obi contrasted appropriately with little gold and a more blacks.

Her mother had been happy to assist her while Sesshoumaru dressed in Souta's room. For that she was glad, knowing full well that the costume change would not have been possible without the older Higurashi. It had also been a while since she'd seen her mother so happy; even if it was all too much, she was glad for that. But it wasn't entirely shocking. Kimi-san liked to eat in top-dollar restaurants. At least, that was Kagome's impression thus far.

Blue eyes darted down toward the wall clock, half wondering if Sesshoumaru was ready. She turned to go up towards the stairs and check on him, but it was at that moment that he appeared from around the corner and stepped into the room, geta shoes in hand.

Nothing had changed, she mused to herself as she took him in. The armor wasn't there, his hakama weren't tucked into the boots he once wore, and his hair was tied back a few inches below the base of his neck from what she could tell; however, in some way it felt good to see him like this. It made her believe that for a moment he really could be free of it all. And she wouldn't pretend it was the clothes, but there was something in his eyes.

"You look amazing," she told him, voice surprisingly strong.

"As do you."

"Thank you. Are you ready?" When he nodded she turned to the door and slipped her shoes on and stepped out into the closely approaching evening air. She warmed when he tucked her arm into his after shutting the door so that she could get down the stairs. "I won't trip, you know," she told him.

"I know."

"Did you get enough sleep?"

"More will be required, but this evening's activities should not be so terribly taxing that This Sesshoumaru will succumb and embarrass you."

Kagome chuckled as they made it to the shrine entrance and waited for the car. "I don't know… that might be pretty funny."

"For you, perhaps," he admitted with a small smirk.

She leaned her head onto his upper arm and part of his shoulder. "You have a very subtle sense of humor, you know."

"Rin once said as much."

Kagome laughed softly. "I guess she would know better than anyone. You did spend most of your time with her, didn't you? And Jakken?"

"When they were not both wandering off together, yes."

"I used to wonder why you took her in—back then, you know. It went against everything I once saw in you."

He remembered asking himself the same question once; he also recalled telling himself it was because she'd helped him when no one else would have. His one act of kindness, however often he had tried to tell himself it had merely been a test, had given him a daughter he might not have otherwise had. But, he could see now how Kagome would have viewed a girl like Rin following him around—the one called The Killing Perfection—as beyond abnormal if not a little strange. It had went against all that he had been, all the distaste he had for human beings. And yet, one little girl had somehow become an exception.

"I believe my only in regret in regards to her is never being able to tell her that she was the key to my compassion… humility."

Kagome looked at him then, curious about the open admission. She watched his features soften just so, barely noticeable to anyone who hadn't spent a considerable amount of time with him. But she could see it in the way his eyelids dropped just a hint, the way the corners of his mouth slightly tugged down, and in the way his head tucked lower only a little.

Kagome squeezed his arm. When he met her gaze she smiled gently. "Then you mother was wrong; she just never took the time to really see you. Rin did though, didn't she?"

He smiled back, closing his eyes once before their gazes connected again. "And you as well," he told her quietly, only barely distinguishable over the hum of the car that pulled up and the voice of the driver calling to them. Before she utter another word he stepped forward and opened the door for her. Only when she was settled did he step around and get in himself.

"How far is it?" Kagome asked the driver as soon as they were off.

"Fifteen or twenty minutes," the man replied.

Kagome nodded, thanking him before she adjusted the way she sat forward to avoid ruining the bow in her obi. She wanted to slide it to the front so she could sit back, but didn't want to risk damaging all the work her mother had done.

Instead, knowing that Sesshoumaru wouldn't mind the silence, she turned to watch the scenery—what was left of the sunset drifting away completely—and waited. She wasn't sure if it was the lack of sleep or her own jumble of thoughts about her afternoon admission, but time swept by and before long the car came to a stop in front of a demure-looking restaurant. She moved to open her door, but Sesshoumaru placed a hand on her knee.

"I'll get it," he said before exiting the car himself.

It took a beat of a moment for him to come around. Kagome took his offered hand and got out the car, thankful for the assistance. She didn't want to admit it, but she wasn't accustomed to walking around in kimono; hakama, yes, but nothing that required her to take agonizingly small steps.

Again, once the car door closed, Sesshoumaru took her arm in his and led them up the stairs and opened the door for her. She laughed softly once they were inside and he took her arm again. "You don't have to keep doing that, you know. Really. I mean, I needed help getting out of the car, but I can manage fine on the stairs—I promise."

He gave her a stoic look, only serving to make her smile more.

"I do appreciate it though. I promise."

"Can I help you?" A woman standing before a podium asked. Her attire was black tie and her dark hair pulled back tightly.

"We're expected," Kagome told her. "The name should be under Tanaka Kim."

Without looking at her reservation book the hostess smiled and said, "She only just arrived. Come, I'll show you to your table." When she stepped away and moved deeper in the dimly lit restaurant they followed a few steps behind.

And it wasn't until they got further in that Kagome understood why Kimi-san has requested she wear formal kimono. It was traditional in the sense that all of the servers were dressed in kimono as well, some of the performing simple tea ceremonies before guests in the open eating space. Customers, in turn, were either in kimono as well, well dressed for a night out, or in their business clothes for an after work dinner. It wasn't one-hundred percent what she would really compare to something like a Ryokan, but, it was a wonderful atmosphere either way.

The hostess led them away from that area though and down a short hall. She stopped before a sliding door and pulled it open with a smile. "Enjoy. Someone will be by to take your orders shortly."

Kagome bowed barely, thanking her before going in with Sesshoumaru and letting her shut the door behind them.

"Kagome, it's good to see you," Kimi-san said as soon as she laid eyes on her, as Kagome met her gaze.

"You too," she replied as the older woman stood and came to envelop her in a hug. "I'm glad you could make time for me despite the emergency," she said when Kimi-san pulled back and released her.

"Yes, that is a different matter altogether. Let me look at you." Her hands had remained on Kagome's elbows, but she pulled away further to gaze at her chosen attire for the evening. "Beautiful. Does it belong to the shrine?"

"Yes, but I can't promise it always did." She grinned. "Not everything is as romantic as you make our history out to be, I promise." And then Kagome's eyes scanned her own kimono; it had shorter sleeves, but that wasn't entirely unexpected given that Kimi-san was likely in her late twenties to early thirties. "I think you outshine me a little in that though." It really was lovely; all black, blue, and soft violet with blooming lotus flowers.

"Thank you." And then her emerald gaze shifted to Sesshoumaru. "Oh, but you've brought a guest. How rude of me. Tanaka Kim," she introduced as she held out a hand. "And you are?"

"Sesshoumaru-san," Kagome told her. "He's a family friend who's been staying at the shrine for a while." She was glad Kimi-san was too kind to be put off by his facial markings; she was also glad the hairstyle he's chosen hid his ear points.

"Really?" she asked as he took her hand, smiling. "So very nice to meet you. Usually Kagome comes by herself or with her mother. A new face is refreshing."

"…Thank you." Sesshoumaru was glad that she was meeting his gaze head-on. It would have been odd for him to stare at her so intensely. And yet… the moment her hand had gripped his…

…Something was off. Not wrong, but off.

"Come then, let's sit. It would be rude of me to keep you standing near the door." She waved a hand in the direction of the table low to the floor with cushioned seating. "I ordered some sake. I hope that's alright?"

"Perfectly fine," Kagome answered as she slipped off her geta and moved to take her seat. Sesshoumaru moved to take his next to her and Kimi-san across from her.

"How has the university been treating you?" she asked as she poured glass for them all.

"Well enough—thank you," Kagome told her as she took the small cup from the other woman's hands. "My boss is a little agonizing, but nothing I can't handle."

"Himura, right?"

Kagome nodded before taking a sip. "Yeah, part of me wonders is he's trying to drive me insane, or just off the job."

"Have you tried standing up to him?"

"I have suggested much the same, but she will not listen," offered Sesshoumaru finally, taking the glass Kimi-san passed to him with a nod of thanks.

"I just don't want to lose my job."

"Well, I can understand that, knowing how much you care about your position. Still, you might consider it an option." She brought the drink to her lips and partook gingerly of it.

"How have you been?" Kagome asked.

"Busy, mostly. My husband, as you well know, spend a lot of him time taking care of the business. And I manage the family and a few other smaller tasks." She sighed and smiled a little lopsidedly. "There's always something amiss, some kind of world-ending matter to attend to. Diplomacy might be useful in politics, but with family it's almost entirely useless."

Kagome chuckled at that. "If your family is anything like mine, I know how you feel."

"You would like them. Perhaps you should come over for our next visit."

"I would love to."

Conversation was momentarily halted when a finely dressed server entered and asked about their orders. Kagome felt taken off guard, not even having looked at the menu. "I don't want to impose," she told Kimi-san. "I always love what you get. Would you mind a suggestion?"

"Not at all." She leaned forward at that, pointing to her favorites. "All of these are lovely. Very aromatic and great for spring."

"Sesshoumaru?" Kagome asked, looking over at him.

"I shall order whatever it is you decide on."

She nodded and listed her choice to the server, adding a glass of water in as well. Sake was all good and well, but she hadn't had much real hydration since before their training session in the woods.

"So, what about you, Sesshoumaru-san? How do you occupy your time?" The brunette asked once the woman was gone.

"…I am between professions," he admitted, not knowing what else to say. "But, I am considering taking a position as the shrine."

Kagome blinked at him. "I didn't know that." As soon as she said it she realized how stupid it was. Of course he would tell Kimi-san that. It was the easiest cover story without making a mountain out of a molehill.

Even so, she smiled sheepishly when he looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

"You must like it there very much then," Kimi-san replied. "What does Kagome's mother think?"

What Sesshoumaru wanted to say was, 'You ask a lot of questions.' What he said instead was, "I imagine she does not have a problem with it."

"Wonderful." She smiled and then engaged Kagome in conversation once more, leaving him to half listen while he thought for a while.

Sesshoumaru had not met many of Kagome's friends. In fact, aside from the girl at the café, Kimi-san was the only other one he'd interacted with in person. And Sesshoumaru chalked that up to Kagome being too busy to really do anything but go to work, school, and spend time at home with her family when she wasn't practicing her sword forms. But, he had seen a number of them. At work he overheard a lot while hidden on Kagome's skin. And of all the people he'd come across thus far who were involved in her life, Kimi-san bothered him the most. Why would a woman with too much money spend thousands of dollars renovating a stranger's shrine, why bestow her with gifts, and why take an active interest in her life?

As dinner was served, he continued wondering. Was he being over cautious of Kagome? Had the life he'd lived caused him to see things that simply weren't there? It didn't make sense. Logically, it wasn't entirely out of place for someone of Kimi-san's standing to take someone like Kagome and her family under her wing. For all he knew it could be a hobby of hers, or, perhaps she really did have a soft spot for the legend surrounding the holy temple.

He must have been quiet for a little too long, because when Kimi-san excused herself to use the restroom, Kagome nudged him and asked, "Are you alright? You haven't said a word for at least forty-five minutes."

He nodded as he took a bite. It wasn't until he swallowed that he said, "I have some things on my mind."

"Should we leave early? You're not still tired are you?"

"No." He offered her a small smile to reassure her. "You should know by now I have very little to say most of the time."

"Not true at all," she argued with a snort. "There's always a lot you could say; you just don't always want to.

"What's bothering you?"

"Can I talk about it later?"

She paused to think about that. If it was anyone else should have assumed it was placating tactic. But, she could sense he wasn't lying. Then, it only stood to reason that whatever was on his mind needed to wait until they were alone together. "Yeah."

He nodded and went back to eating and not saying much of anything when the shrine's sponsor returned. And instead of submerging himself into thought once more though, he listened completely as they conversed.

He watched the way Kimi-san reacted to Kagome. And no matter how much he tried to find some kind of flaw, some kind of hidden agenda, some ulterior motive… there was nothing but kindness and honesty in her. Nothing about her body language, facial expressions, or manner of speech indicated she was anything but.

He was wrong, seeing something that wasn't there. Whatever Kimi-san was, she wasn't a danger to Kagome. He was just too jaded to know the difference anymore. Had to be.

A server came in to remove their dishes and refill their cups. It was the last place he expected a threat to encroach. And despite his generally quick reflexes, he couldn't help but hesitate and the sheer stupidity of it all.

As the server gathered the utensils and placed them on the tray she held in one hand, hovering over them in a partial crouch while she reached for others, a knife slipped. He watched in slow motion as it fell, point down, towards Kagome. Maybe he expected her to notice it, not at all thinking that she would have been reaching for her cup of water as the server also bumped the table—not all thinking she was trying to keep it from spilling right into her lap and onto her beautiful furisode.

He couldn't help the way his aura beat once with the thump of his heart as he reached out. However, what took him entirely by surprise was the other youki that briefly expanded once in the room as well—making itself known…._known._

Gold met green as Kimi-san's hand brushed his own, as they held the knife mere inches from the top of Kagome's head.

All at once, Kagome let out a breath and the server apologized profusely, bowing and fussing. But all he could see was green—green that shouldn't be green. And they remained that way until she released the knife first.

"It's alright!" Kagome told the waitress, smiling and laughing a little. "No harm done. Don't worry about it. Please."

"Are you sure?" she asked, looking as if she'd just shattered a precious vase from the Ming dynasty.

"Positive. Just bring us a little more sake."

She nodded, bowed a few more times, and then left the room.

"Goodness…" Kagome said. "That was close. So…" And the she noticed, finally, that something wasn't quite right. Kimi-san and Sesshoumaru were standing up. Both of them had this stiffness about them—an intensity without words as they stared at one another across the table. The miko blinked several times and looked at the inuyoukai. And then something else hit her; her eyes widened and she stood up as well.

_Rage_.

Her fingers grazed the sleeve of his kimono and he flew across the room. Kagome watched, in horror, as he wrapped clawed digits around Kimi-san's neck and shoved her into the solid wall. Briefly, she was thankful they hadn't been sitting on the other side of the table. Otherwise the two of them would have gone through a thin layer mostly paper constructed doors. That thought was brief though.

She let her aura expand, creating a bubble of silence within the room and then shouted, "Sesshoumaru! What are you doing? Have you lost your mind?" She stepped forward.

"Stop," he snapped.

"You're going to kill her," she argued. "What do you mean, stop? You stop. This is crazy."

And then he smirked, eyes red and radiating malice. Kagome could feel it in every fiber of her being. "Tell her," he said as he stared into green eyes, "Tell Kagome," he went on, voice snapping with rage, "do you think I should stop…

"_Mother_?"

Kagome stilled, cobalt depths immediately shifting from Sesshoumaru to Kimi-san. "What…? How… how do you know?"

But Sesshoumaru didn't answer her. "Do you know the hell you have put me through?" he went on coolly. "Do you know how long I waited? Do comprehend the years you have robbed me of?" with each question his voice grew louder and louder.

Kagome had seen his quiet anger—always stoic, calm, collected. But this… this was something entirely different. There was no stoicism in this, no control. The hate that flooded her heart, making it ache, was unlike anything she had ever felt before. And some part of her was terrified. This… this visceral version of him was terrifying. And yet, she could do nothing but watch, torn between stopping him and doing nothing at all.

"Say something!" he snapped next.

But Kimi-san remained silent.

"I should have trusted my gut," he bit off next. "The family sword, the donation to the shrine…" He laughed, the sound bitter and soaked in grief. "After all these years… nothing?"

Kagome watched as Kimi-san looked away from him, eyes shutting against tears. Why wasn't she fighting him? _Why_? Kagome watched as his grip tightened further.

"Speak!" he cried, his aura flaring, arcing now.

Kagome stepped forward then and reached for his arm. "Stop it, Sesshoumaru!" she whispered loudly. "Please." But he ignored her. And she knew, in some way, he couldn't hear her anymore. If she let this go on, he was going to kill his own mother. "You're going to kill her!" she said next, trying one more time.

"Good."

She wasn't going to get him off her unless she used her abilities. But, in the state he was in… that could make it worse; he might end up attacking her and... Oh god no…

_No_.

As his grip became tighter she realized there _was_ no other option, not if the only other one turned the entire city block into war scene. And if she engaged him, forced him off his mother, that's exactly what would happen. She could feel it her bones, in the raw rage and youki and rolled off of him. In that moment, she knew some part of her was breaking as she released him and took a step back.

"Daiyoukai," she whispered… ordered, with a hanging head. "Take your hands off her. Stop."

_Today_… she told herself once she realized what was breaking was her heart… _was supposed to be a good day_…

* * *

**AN :: **So…. that was a long ass chapter. I felt bad about not having any lemony goodness at the top of the chapter considering the ending of my last chapter. So, I decided to roll with it in the fight and add some. I doubt I'll hear any complaints.

Anyway, this could have been split into two chapters. _Buuuuuut_… I was really adamant about this ending being at the end of this damn chapter. I needed to next one to be fall a part one. I know a lot of you already suspected Kimi-san. And not to be a barrel of clichés, but I didn't feel like changing my plotz. Also, I suck at know Japanese seasons. When I originally started writing this I figured they were in August. But, then I established it was freezing ass cold. Turns out, spring is cold as balls—for me at least—in Japan. And August is like swealtering... So… I never _actually_ said it was early fall and changed it all up. In case you all are confused, that's why. Blade sucks at knowing other countries weather patterns.

Also, I really didn't want to give Sesshoumaru's mom a surname. It's fake; totally fake. They don't have one. She just has one because modern times and personal documents. _Also_, I don't give a damn when Kagome's birthday is. Apparently Rumiko sucks as dates, ages, and timelines. So… we fanfic authors just have to make shit up.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the long ass chapter. I worked all day long on it. And if you notice a few errors, please give me a heads up—a quote. It's like, six thirty in the morning here and I did my best to edit. I figured you guys would rather have something to read over me withholding for another day or two because 'the' was spelled 'teh'. Much love~!

—**Blade**


	10. Chapter Ten

.

.

.

.

The Taming of the Stubborn Inuyoukai

* * *

_It's been one week since you looked at me_

_Threw your arms in the air_

_and said "You're crazy"_

_Five days since you tackled me_

_I've still got the rug burns on both my knees_

_It's been three days since the afternoon_

_You realized it's not my fault_

_not a moment too soon_

_Yesterday you'd forgiven me_

_And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry._

—_One Week - Barenaked Ladies_

* * *

**Chapter Ten**|Lie to Me

He could feel it in is blood; he could feel it working its way through to muscle fiber, tissue, and burning into his pours. Every fragment of who he was in that moment had been built on anguish, betrayal, agony, and pain long numbed by age. Centuries of torment, emotional manipulation, the wanton desire of human power—youkai power—and lust had led to this. He'd been a toy, an instrument of amusement, a means to an end—in both body and soul. And nothing—_nothing_—would have felt more satisfying than to watch her skull pop from her neck like a ripened grape, to listen as it thudded to the ground—as bone broke along her spine, to feel as hot blood rolled down his digits and the tops of his hands.

_He_ was hot; his body was on fire with rage—beautiful and uncontrolled rage waiting to be unleashed in some symphony he knew would lead to satisfaction. It had to.

There was no Kagome, only a voice.

There was no world, only the two of them.

There was only the rush of blind hatred—pain.

In some part, between the flashes of molten loathing, he was wrapped in his memories. He asked himself in the separate, conscious, part of his mind—why? Had she ever loved him? Had he only been a tool for his mother as well? Had she always been so far removed, so apathetic, that she couldn't take the meager amount of time to consider what this would mean for him—this death sentence? In all this time had she ever looked in on him; had she ever felt remorse for what she had done; had she once considered the consequences? Had he not been a youkai the number of times he'd been broken would have killed him by now. What was left of his spirit, his pride, remained in the scraps he'd carefully tucked away in a box for no one else to see. And those scraps, fractured as they were, never had any hope of being repaired.

Some pulled at him, cut through the red and fire—forcing him to release. And then he heard the words.

"Daiyoukai," she whispered, "Take your hands off her. Stop."

Crimson washed away to white; amber-gold snapped to attention and met cobalt. His flexing jaw loosened before tightening again. And then he felt the pain anew as he watched her, as he ignored his mother in light of this unexpected and searing defiance. He couldn't stop staring at her even as his grip languidly pulled away, as clawed fingertips slid along the pale column of his mother's neck, as his feet carried in back one step against his will.

He could feel a gulf, a bridge, wider than any other suddenly form. Blackness, abyssal blackness, too large to see the other side separated them. But he couldn't stop the way she felt; nor could he stop the way he felt her heart slicing into strips. He could not remember a time in his life, in his imprisonment, ever feeling that much from another human being. And despite that, he carefully tried to erect the already crumbled stone blocks that once encased his own heart to no real avail. Like a malnourished and grieving soldier, unable to replace what had already been picked apart for love, embrace, and unconditional support, it felt impossible to push her away—Kagome.

That part of him that tried replace the brittle walls, the one that didn't want to fight against her helpless assault, also wanted to embrace her—to sooth her. But, as he swallowed, he refused to allow that to happen. There was another part of him that could not hate her, but felt clearly all that she had done with so few words: robbing him of his satisfaction and proving to him she, like everyone else, could only go so long before succumbing to what his servitude offered.

"May I leave, mistress?" he asked, voice lacking all that he felt, lacking even the warmth he'd offered upon first escaping the fude brush. He had to go, to flee. The pain of being without her nearby, no matter the length of time it extended, was preferable to everything that had come undone in this room.

He pulled his gaze from her then, choosing to lower it practiced submissiveness instead.

He could feel her staring at him, those eyes begging he look at her. He could feel tears. And he knew if he looked up that it would be impossible to hold his resolve no matter the amount of anger or betrayal he felt.

"…Yes."

Without looking back, he stepped out of the room and passed through Kagome's pink barrier. He stepped through the hall, the main portion of the restaurant, and walked in whatever direction his socked feet led him.

* * *

There was silence.

Nothing but the silence. It bounced off the walls, the muffled laugher from the other rooms and the main dining hall, and wrapped her in an embrace of frozen confusion. She couldn't move; she couldn't speak; she couldn't even swallow the lung that had become lodged in her throat.

She stared at the space he'd occupied as if holding the afterimage of him there, perhaps thinking it was possible to keep him in place by want alone.

_Mistress…_ not Kagome, not miko… mistress…

A sob escaped her, unable contain itself any longer. Still, she held onto the tears until the capacity to fight them no longer remained. And when each one fell, they painted a path that scorched her skin.

Something snapped; she wasn't sure if it was clarity or anger—anger for him or her. She turned then. Ignoring the way her kimono tugged at her thighs from the tight binding, she crossed the room and grabbed Kimi-san's arm; fingers coiled tightly and jerked her away from the wall. As green eyes flashed hers, swallowed by tears, she pushed her aura outward and into her. The energy wrapped like a vice—seeking and invading to her youki. And it a flash of red and pink, the glamour was gone. She felt something shatter and ignored it.

Silver-white strands that were piled in a series of knots to hold their length at bay fell over her shoulders and down her back. Perfectly styled bangs dropped to just above her brows. Eyes… eyes that were so like ones…

Everything about her looked like Sesshoumaru, reminded Kagome of the beautiful broken man who'd had to endure the consequences her selfishness.

The smack radiated in the room long before Kagome realized exactly what she had done. But she didn't regret it; she didn't regret the way her hand stung, the red marking on the other woman's cheek. If anything she hated the way Kimi-san failed to react.

"_Why?_" Kagome hissed once she let her go and her aura retracted, as she stepped back. "Why for… _any of it?!_" She was screaming, heavying heavy breaths her body could not compensate for. "Why didn't you contact us? Why did you do anything? Do you give a damn about him at all?"

"…I deserve that." she whispered, finally touching her cheek.

Kagome grabbed her again, hands on the lapels of her kimono, and shoved her against her wall. Never in her life had she ever felt the need to be so violent to anyone. Not even when Naraku plagued her, her friends, like some kind of disease. "This isn't a game," she snapped. "_You ruined his life!_"

"I know that."

Kagome shoved away from her; she looked away because of disgust, anger, and hurt. She really didn't know what to say anymore.

"I never imagined it would turn out this way," Kagome heard her say next, voice shaky while she wiped tears and composed herself.

"How did you imagine it would turn out then?" Kagome asked bitterly. "You turned your son into a slave."

"I was a different person then, Kagome."

"That's not an excuse!" Her hands fisted.

"I was angry," she went on. "Petulant. I never thought he would be used this way, that I would have to watch him…" Her eyes closed and her lips became a wobbling flat line. "He is my son; I love him. In the beginning there were many youkai females that wanted to bind their life to his. I assumed he would fight it for a while…"

"Are you saying this is his fault?" Kagome did look at her then.

"No, Kagome. I'm only trying to explain how we ended at this point, at this place. I understand you're angry."

"No," she snapped, "You don't. I don't think you could understand everything I'm feeling right now—what I'm feeling from him."

She nodded.

And then there was silence again. The anger was ebbing away, the heat was. Her tears were subsiding as she calmed down. But it didn't stop the hurt, any of it. Did she want to know? Was it worth hearing? Did she have the stomach to listen to his mother right now?

Kagome sighed.

No, she did. And if she left now, all she'd be going home to is an empty room. It would come crashing down the moment she went through the front door. Her mother would have questions the minute she saw her face—ones she didn't want to answer. And she knew in her gut that he would not be coming home tonight. The promise of letting all of that festering come undone in her dark room…

"Tell me," she said finally. "I'll listen. Tell me… tell me what happened."

She nodded again, not saying anything as she stepped slowly across the room and took her seat once more. After a short while, Kagome found the strength to return to her own.

The inuyoukai took a deep breath in and folded her hands into her lap. "I'm sure Sesshoumaru has told you some of it…"

"About not wanting to get married, yeah. He put you off."

"Yes, he did… We argued frequently. I wanted him to take his rightful place—the one that was expected of him. At the time, I considered Inuyasha… But, it was a different era. Regardless of whether or not his brother would have been ready, he would not have been accepted."

"But I thought you guys were making peace treaties. It had been, what, about a hundred years by then? Hadn't opinions changed?"

"In some ways yes; in many others? No. It was imperative that Sesshoumaru assume his duty. My granddaughter was an adult and well taken care of; with that, urgings from the lesser families became more pronounced."

"But you guys live forever. Why couldn't you have kept on doing it?"

"Do you ever wonder why youkai don't overtake human population in numbers, Kagome?" she asked instead.

"Well… I haven't, no." She frowned.

"It's a combination of several factors. One, it is very difficult for us to conceive; sometimes it can take fifty or more years. Two, age wears on us. Keeping an entire family in order, setting disputes—even now—is a trying task for more powerful youkai. Many of us retire after a millennium, and others eventually go somewhere to die.

"I wanted to retire, Kagome—desperately. I wanted to give it all up when his father chose another over me. I wanted someone else, Sesshoumaru, to take my place. But, it is a long-standing stipulation that the heir to family must marry first. Unrest would ensue had he not followed that tradition. It would have led to war." Her hand lifted, clutching the material across her chest. "I didn't know what else to do, having never truly given myself to grief for the infidelity, for the death of my mate. I was angry, yes. Bitter. I believe some part of me thought my son was trying to spite me."

"Did you try, you know, telling him how you felt before you turned him into a slave?"

Kimi-san's smile was bitter. "That would have been better, yes. But, I was not the woman I am now. Sesshoumaru had come a long way since agreeing to allow Inuyasha and Kikyo to become part of the pack, but he has always been… if nothing else…" she trailed off.

"So, because you both sucked a communicating properly the next _logical_ course of action was to curse him to some damned brush? Did you think for a second that might be taking it too far?"

"At the time, I did not. And when he fought it through the first girl, a youkai, I still felt anger. It wasn't until the second…

"All of them were wonderful at first, Kagome. Beautifully wonderful. And he eventually let his guard down, surprising me—giving me hope. He… begged the third girl, a human female. I thought, in that moment, this was it. Opinions have changed, he can mate with a human girl. Surely… surely it will be different this time.

"But she hid her true nature well. After that, he never begged again, and I never wanted to see that—ever. Not after he shut down entirely and gave into whatever was forced upon him." she swallowed and met the miko's gaze. "The last one was the worst of them all. I… let it go on for five years. But, it grew to be too…"

"What happened?"

She sighed. "Rin happened."

"What?"

"I ordered one of my own to execute her. In the past, it wasn't uncommon for one of our assassins to do as much, especially when situations among the families became messy and it was required. But in the modern age… it had not been done for at least a hundred and fifty years."

"You asked Rin to?" Somehow Kagome couldn't imagine it, but then her view of Rin was skewed. She only remembered the sweet little girl who talked about herself in third person.

"She went of her own accord. By the time my agent arrived… she was leaving, the deed done. I later found out that she'd somehow gotten a hold of my mirror and saw what I had been trying to shield her from."

Kagome sighed as she tapped a few fingers on the small table. "And what about me? Did you pick me as well?" Her voice was still low and spite clung to it.

"Inuyasha did," she admitted with a smile. "He insisted on it, if I recall."

"What..?"

"I had chosen all the others. When he found out what had happened to his brother wasn't happy—understandably so. Rin wouldn't speak to me for… it was while. I didn't see her or her family for a long time. But Inuyasha remained long after he told me exactly what he thought. Kikyo, I think, was the only reason he did. She insisted that the only way I would be able to see my grandchildren ever again if I kept them abreast of what happened and if anything changed.

"But yes, he chose you."

"So, you gave my grandfather the brush? And he what? Just decided to give it to me as a present? He knew there was a youkai in the brush, but he didn't seem to know it was Sesshoumaru." Had he known who it was? Had her grandfather met with Kimi-san before Kagome had?

"The truth is… I met with your grandfather just after you were born. Before Inuyasha approached me about you, he asked that I not make a decision about the fude's next owner. And he spent the next few months looking for your parents and your grandfather. When he finally located you all, he explained to me his plan. He said that if anyone would do right by Sasshoumaru that it would be you, Kagome. And I trusted that judgement and went to meet with the owner of the shrine. I explained to him the situation, about you and what you would eventually do—going back to the past and so forth. I entrusted the brush to him and asked that he give it to you after the well closed."

The well had closed when she was fifteen—far too young for what has occurred the moment he'd come from the brush. Why hadn't he given it to her when she was eighteen, nineteen, or even twenty? Why wait until she was twenty-one?

"You may want to ask him about it. After we spoke that day, I didn't speak with him again until you made contact with me."

"There's just one thing I don't understand," Kagome said to her.

"That is?"

"Why you didn't just release him from the curse a long time ago. You said it was painful, that you had regrets. Why didn't you—."

"I cannot break it. It is binding. Only when someone agrees to mate with him can it be broken."

"There's nothing you can do? At all? I would have to agree to be his mate in order to free him?"

"I'm sorry."

"Then at least tell me what all the secrecy is about. You owe me that much."

"Well… I didn't want to interfere. I didn't want you to feel burdened in your choice. It was meant to be, and still is, your decision to make in regards to my son. And I wanted you to come to that conclusion on your own. I wanted any possible feelings you could develop for one another to happen naturally."

Kagome shook her head. "There's nothing natural about any of this. Natural would have been bumping into him and getting a date for coffee. This is just…

"I'm so tired of being pissed off at people," she said aloud. "You, my grandfather… And Sesshoumaru is… I've never ordered anything of him, Kimi-san. And you… Why didn't you just…" she slammed her fist on the table, rattling the cups. "You should have told me—all of you." She looked at her then. "If you had approached me, asked me, told me what was going on…"

"Would you have agreed to mate with him? Can you honestly say that?"

"I love him," she snapped. "And that is one of the few beautiful things to come out of this. But he's so fucked up because of your pride and stupidity I'm not sure he even understands love anymore. You _wrecked_ him. All the counseling the world might not fix it.

"Do I want to spend the rest of my life with him? I'm not against it; I might not have been against it if you'd just talked to me before forcing this on us both. But what about him? All he knows is that to get out of it means making a choice between being a slave for all eternity, or, by committing to someone in some soul-binding ritual.

"That's not a choice—it's not his. It's the lesser of two evils." She stood then and Kimi-san did so shortly after.

"I'm going to go home… I don't know when I'll contact you again… but, please tell Inuyasha I'd like to see him—the sooner the better."

Kimi-san nodded.

"Goodnight."

* * *

Kagome didn't take a car home. It was tempting to just walk off all the pent up aggression, the hurt, and the tears that attacked her every so often until she made them stop. Punishing her feet by walking miles to the shrine in geta, or even in socked feet, wasn't going to do her any favors. She was carrying both hers and Sesshoumaru's in her hand, half wondering if he'd had any money to take the bus as she had. She didn't want to think about him hurting himself out of…

She sucked it all down as she took the stone steps one at a time, thinking how nice it would be if it were raining. She wasn't sure she cared about ruining her kimono; she wasn't sure she ever wanted took at it again once she took it off. But, the rain would have soothed her—even in the cold.

When she went inside a few lights were on. Souta was passed out on the couch and the TV was still blaring late night infomercials. She was happy her mother wasn't anywhere in sight; maybe she'd gone to bed early.

…She didn't want to go to bed.

"Kagome…?"

She inhaled deeply and looked over at Souta, forcing a smile. "Yeah?"

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, eventually giving her a narrowed look. "You alright? Where's Sesshoumaru?"

"He needed to take a walk," she said softly. "I'm fine."

She knew he wasn't buying it, but he nodded anyway—she was thankful for that. "Mom went to bed early; said she had some stuff to do in the morning. And gramps… I think he's out at the archery targets."

"At this hour?" She looked towards the back of the house, momentarily distracted from her melancholy.

He shrugged. "He turned on the lights. Don't know if he's actually doing anything though, the cracked coot."

She couldn't remember the last time she practiced archery. A year ago?

"You going to bed?"

She didn't answer him right away. Instead, she stared at the wall as if she could look right through it and see her grandfather. It was so much more that some meddling at this point; he'd known. He's known before she'd ever made her trip down the well. He'd known about all of it—every bit. And she wasn't upset he hadn't told her about going back; none of that mattered.

God damn him, she couldn't even hit him. The shocking part was that she wanted to. Kagome had always been kind, compassionate, caring. She really didn't like violence—at all. Protecting loved ones and practicing was one thing, but this urge to do physical harm to people…

"_Have you considered asking him what those reasons are?"_

"No," she finally said to him as she slipped off her shoes. Next came her obi, the fur stole, and her kimono after—the comb in her hair.

"Hey now! I don't want to see my own sister naked!"

"I'm not getting naked, you idiot," she shot back, "Not all of us wear our birthday suit under kimono." She stripped down until she was in nothing but a pair of pajama shorts and a short sleeved t-shirt. "Can you put those somewhere for me?" she asked.

"You're not going outside like that are you?" he asked as she caught the stuff she threw at him.

"No, I just don't want to wear _that_ anymore."

"What is _wrong_ with you?" he called after her as she made way to the laundry room on the other side of the house.

"I'll tell you later!" She shut the door behind her and went right for the basket her mom had done earlier. She changed quickly, putting on a pair of sweats over her shorts and a hoodie. Once zipped up, she left the laundry room and went to the back door and put on her shoes. And then she was out and walking the distance, hands stuffed into her jacket pockets and exhaling clouds of breath.

She could see her grandfather aiming in the distance, in the space between the well house and where their old house used to be, replaced now with a storage building.

"I'm pissed off at you," she hollered before she made it to him.

"That's nothing new; you've been that way for two weeks, girl." He pulled back on the string, eyes narrowing. She stopped and watched as he aimed, focusing, and the released the arrow. She frowned as it hit two inches shy of the mark, hands on her hips

"Why didn't you tell me about all of this?"

"So, you spoke to his mother finally." He grabbed another arrow.

"I've _been_ speaking to her for years and you _knew_. Do you know how fucked up that is? How all of this is? You are my teacher, jii-chan—my mentor. You taught me everything I needed and wanted to know about being a miko."

"Because you asked."

She rubbed her temples, praying for patience. "That's not even the point." Her hands dropped and slapped against her side. "You hurt my feelings. You're supposed to be on _my_ side, not lying to me and hiding things behind my back. I know you're not that stupid. So why?"

The next arrow hit the fence and he sighed. She wondered if he was annoyed at his emotionally-driven aim, or, at her. "You knew I was seeing her tonight," she went one, "Why didn't you warn me?" she whispered. "At the very least, I could have left him home and talked to her first. That way…"

He looked at her then, aging eyes meeting her own finally. "What happened?" he asked, voice finally serious and concerned.

She sighed. "I want to fix things with you. I can't be at war with everyone. But, I can't talk to you about what's wrong until you tell me why you did it. My side, remember?" She beat her chest with her pam for emphasis. "We're family. Doesn't that mean anything?"

He frowned and wiped a hand down his face, looking to the archery target. "I probably should have told you. I'm sorry for that, but at the time it was out of my hands." He shook his head. "When Kimi-san came to me she was plagued with grief. I could see it in her eyes. She deeply regretted what she had done to Sesshoumaru and I was, as she saw it, her only hope. You were.

"I didn't want to at first. I didn't want to subject you to that. And it became harder for me to even consider it when you asked me to help you, to teach you the old ways. It was never my intention to hurt you, Kagome." His soft gaze found her, a little defeated.

"Did you do it for the money? The repairs?"

He snorted in response. "No. We've never had a lot of money, but we've never really hurt for it. Kimi-san did that on her own because she wanted to. _No_," he shook his head. "I did it because I didn't want that boy to hurt anymore. I made the decision a week before your birthday because I knew you were strong enough to help him." He set his bow aside and reached for her hand, squeezing it once and then patting it. "You have grown into a very strong and resourceful woman. I am proud of you for that, not just for continuing the old ways. I believed, in my heart, if anyone could help him that it would be you."

"Helping Sesshoumaru means mating with him. It means taking the choice away from him. I don't want that. I don't want to be the lesser of two evils."

"There is always another way," he argued.

"But Kimi-san said—."

"Who cares what she said? Nothing is ever set in stone. And you'd be addled to think so."

"Maybe…" she sighed out, not entirely sure, but not exactly up for arguing anymore tonight. "That still doesn't tell me why you kept it from me. Why didn't you ask? You said it was out of your hands. What does that even mean?"

"Because I am a man of my word. When I made the agreement with his mother she asked that I not tell you."

"You could have refused."

"Yes, but then he would have been given to some other poor excuse for a woman who would have used him—again. I didn't want that."

Kagome shook her head.

"Inuyasha asked that I agree to her terms, Kagome," he told her honestly, "He kept you safe in the past, that much I know. I felt indebted to him for that reason alone, even if he didn't use that as leverage to sway my decision. It felt wrong to say no." He released her hand. "I'm not asking for your forgiveness."

"I want to give it to you." She plopped down on a bench behind her and moved to play with the hem of her hoodie. When he joined her she didn't move away. "I'm not mad at you," she said next. "I just want you to be honest with me. I could have avoided this whole night if…" she trailed off and he didn't push—he didn't ask again. She felt a hand on her back, rubbing, and it all came out in one fell swoop, a trail of words all half overlapping one another. And she didn't cry because she wasn't sure she had any tears left.

"I wish I could talk to Sango," she said in finality. "I miss her."

"The demon hunter from the past?"

"Yeah."

His hand dropped from her back.

"She was human. And with the well closed there's no going back. But… I would give anything to just have a chat with her about this."

"Do you remember what we were working on before you stopped speaking to me?" he asked.

Kagome's brow furrowed as she thought. "Deep meditation, right? Spiritual submersion or something? You didn't really go into it much at the time." She glanced over at him. "Why?"

"I believe there's a way to make up for my transgression against you, granddaughter." He smiled. "Not tonight though. I'll need some time to pull the books back out and make some preparations. Tomorrow night will you meet me in the shrine's main hall? After closing time?"

Kagome was a little confused, but she was also pretty tired too. "Yeah, sure." When he moved to stand and clean up she stood up as well. "I guess I'll try to get some sleep."

"You could call him back home," he offered.

Kagome shook her head. "I think I've done enough damage for one night." She smiled bitterly. "Night, jii-chan."

"Goodnight."

* * *

It had been his every intention to walk into the night, down the sidewalk, and allow himself to just keep going until his body gave out. Maybe. He didn't have a plan, not at first. But by the time he'd reached the bottom step of the restaurant's front entrance enough logic had returned to him to wait. So, in the space between buildings he had; he'd waited until Kagome had walked out and then finally for his mother. He'd watched as she got in a sleek black car, only leaping to the top of the closest rooftop and following—shadowed by night—when it drove off. Even when the city became suburbia he kept his pace, flying when the environment allowed for it. It wasn't until the car pulled up to a large gated house—and estate home—that he stopped.

When the car was allowed in, the electric gate separating in the middle, he jumped over the stone fence. He stayed away from the private road and instead stuck to what trees would keep him out of sight until he reached the front of the house. He watched as her car pulled to a stop there, as she got out, and went inside. He watched as it took another road towards the other side of the home.

He stood there for a while, ignoring the way his socks had become soaked with dirt and evening dew from the grass. Should he knock? Risk being physically close enough to his mother to kill her again? ...No.

But that didn't mean he couldn't explore a little, perhaps find out find a few things out… kill some time; better here than the side of the road. If he found nothing, perhaps he would return to Kagome's… but, really, he didn't want to do that either.

He turned and headed towards the back of the home, following the wall of stone and the landscaping that lined it. Idly, he rubbed at his chest, trying to push away the burning pain that was sure to only become stronger as time passed—as night became the dawn. He wondered, absently, how long he could go on this time.

Maybe he wanted it to numb him, to blanket him in an agony he would welcome that was entirely separate from the one he'd experienced hours earlier. It had been some time since he'd passed out from the pain, but perhaps that would be better. Losing consciousness would keep him from having to think about any of it. Death would reap the same result, but at this point it was too final were he even allowed the choice.

There was more landscaping behind the home, a plethora of garden and rocky-pathed walkways. Cherry blossoms speckled the ground and swayed in the breeze. He found himself wandering beneath them, fingers grazing a swaying branch with pinked petals. And after a while he sat down on a stone bench beneath one, eyes shutting while he inhaled and borrowed from a serenity that was not his own.

What had they talked about, he wondered. His mother and Kagome had remained at the restaurant for at least another hour, not leaving until a little after ten by his own rough estimation. He had felt the wide array of emotions from the miko. Her rage nearly mirrored his own, all of it directed at his mother. And her empathy, unsurmountable, had still been directed at him. He'd been in this game long enough to know when feelings were felt on his behalf, when they were _for_ him. Kagome wasn't doing it on purpose; she had never asked how. It was the only indication that he had that it was earnest—real.

He wanted to go home. Her arms.

But he didn't know if it was him or the pain talking. The logical part of him argued that she had only done it to keep him from murdering his mother; the broken part of him, the one that had been looking for the spot, told him he should have known better. And yet, every feeling coming from Kagome told him otherwise. Regardless, he still couldn't go back. Not now. Maybe not until she called him back. Would she? There had been tears in her eyes after the order… the one she hadn't wanted to execute.

_She loves you_, his heart whispered as he dropped his face into his hands. _You idiot, she loves you. The only reason she won't mate with you is because she doesn't want to hurt you._

But she had.

_She's done nothing but try and save you_. _Can't you see that?_

He saw her face then: all the times she smiled, laughed, and even the tears from that night. He just… he hated his mother. He hated her for putting him in this position, for putting Kagome there. She'd known the whole time, the whole damned time. She'd never forgotten about him; she'd just kept everyone at bay. Rin, all of them.

Oh god… this was worse.

He let the tears come then, alone in the dark and under the swaying cherry trees where no one could see it. He hadn't cried since he'd been a child, not even when he'd begged to be free of this hell, not even when he'd felt the first lash of emotional and physical pain, and not even when his mother and set him upon this path.

A cry left him, the sound washing away with the wind, and in some way it felt good. Maybe it would be alright to fall apart for once in his life, to allow himself to finally deal with everything that had built up, even if he didn't think it was possible to let it go.

"..O…Otousan…?"

His gaze snapped upward, locking on a woman's—no, Rin's. Brown eyes, nearly black, softened on his. He watched as her hand flew to her mouth, as a sound escaped her—perhaps a sob of disbelief. For a moment he was taken aback by how different she was, how her long black hair had been cut short and cropped into a stylish pixie cut with elongated bangs, at how unusual it was to see her in jeans and a wool jacket with sneakers. And she was wearing make-up.

"It is you," she whispered breathlessly. "…Otousan…" She stepped forward then and he stood so that he could wrap his arms around her the moment she embraced him. His hand went to back of her skull as he choked on another sob and shut his eyes, as he squeezed her smaller frame to his.

"I missed you," she told him. "_So much_." He could smell her tears, hear them in the words she spoke. "Stop crying," she said next. "I don't think I'll be able to stop if you don't." She laughed softly and then finally pulled back to wipe her face.

She was beautiful—stunning, he thought.

"Why are you here? Did Kagome come with you?" she asked before grinning again. "Not that I'm unhappy to see you. It was just kind of the last thing I expected on my nightly walk, especially when no one told me you'd come."

"No one knows I'm here."

She blinked. "Why not?" And then her brow furrowed in thought. "I mean, I knew grandmother was meeting with Kagome for dinner tonight, but she said you weren't going to be there…"

At the mention of his mother his jaw flexed and he shut his eyes.

"Otousan…?" she asked softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You don't look well…why don't we inside?"

He shook his head. "No. I don't want to be near her."

"It's alright," she soothed, rubbing his upper arm. "We won't. I live with my family in the west wing and she's in the northern one." She smiled gently this time. "Sometimes weeks go by without my ever having to see her, especially when she goes to the city for a few days." She squeezed once. "Or I can call Kagome to come get you. I have the shrine's number."

"I can't yet," he admitted, hoping she wouldn't ask why.

"Then let me take care of you," she pleaded, "You look terrible, more terrible than I've ever seen you as a child. Then I couldn't give you a warm bed, food, and something to drink.

"I'll make sure she doesn't know you're here. Please, otousan, I want to help you."

He looked at her, right into her soft brown eyes. Rin didn't have a reason to lie to him; she was, in all likelihood, the only person he'd ever placed all of his trust in. If she said his mother wouldn't find out then she wouldn't. And so, he nodded and let her lead him towards the house—through the dimly lit rooms, stairs going upward, and down a long hall before going to another.

"Do you want a shower?" she asked once she'd closed the door and turned on the light in a room with a large window and a four poster bed. "There's stuff in the bathroom you can use. We keep them stocked for guests."

"Probably," he murmured before taking a seat on the edge of mattress.

"Do you want something to eat? Drink?"

"No." He looked at the walls, passively studying the gold, blue, and off-white strips of decorative paint. No red. "I think I'm going to bathe and go to sleep."

"Alright. I'll get you some clothes and leave them on the bed. Do you want me to have what you're wearing washed?"

"If you can have as much done without my mother finding them."

She snorted. "Her? Go anywhere near the laundry room? Yeah right. You're safe there, but I'll probably send that to cleaners. We have one we've been using for years that specializes in antique Japanese silk."

"Do you have hakama and hori?"

"Yeah, do you want me to get you a few sets? No modern clothes?"

"No modern clothes."

She smiled. "Nothing really changes, huh?"

He raised a brow as he met her gaze, not quite sure what she meant.

"It doesn't matter." She waved it off. "I'll leave the clothes on your bed and let you get cleaned up." She came towards him, bending down to give him one last hug. "I don't know what's wrong, aside from the obvious, but if you want to tell me—I'm here." She pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Sleep well, otousan." The door shut with a soft click behind her.

He sat there for a bit longer before going into the bathroom and stripping down, only leaving to place his clothes on the bed for Rin to retrieve; then came the shower. He ignored the way the all the buttons and knobs—complicated, but understandable now—reminded him of a certain miko. He pushed himself through the motions, dried off, and went back. Clothes were changed into, a pair of satiny pajama pants, before he pulled back the bedclothes. And when he slipped into bed after turning off the light, he realized that sleep only came—even through pain expanding from his chest to the rest of his limbs that he tried to ignore—because of exhaustion.

It was cold without Kagome.

* * *

**AN ::** No don't you dare think this is means feeling bad for leaving you guys hanging. It's not. Really. I love my cliffhangers. And as much as they make a vein twitch above my head when I'm reading other stories, they are awesome. You _know_ they are. We love them for the same reasons we hate them. So, yeah, I updated again because I caught the bug. You get an extra, folks. Alllll because I was in mood to write my way through some feelz. Plus, we're getting close to the end and I love that. Makes me all squishy and warm when I get near finishing a story.

Someone told me in the reviews a few chapters ago that if Sesshoumaru and Rin's reunion wasn't all full of some fluff they would be very angry. I'm telling you right now that not why I did this. I did it because I love fluff too. So there. Ha. But, I will admit that Kagome slapping Kimi was a reader suggestion I had to run with. I hope it was poignant enough. It felt that way to me.

The hardest part of this chapter was the chat between Kagome and her grandfather. It felt choppy. But I realized that it _would_ be choppy because the way Kagome talks to 'the old man' wouldn't be how she talks to everyone else. He a little brash—rough around the edges and crotchety. In fact, I'm positive Kagome got all her snark from him. So, naturally there'd be some choppy snark. Plus, they're close.

Love any of it? Hate any of it? Let me know. Or hey, just read and wait for the next one. I enjoy reviews, but I'm ok without then too. Love you guys. Sorry for the TL;DR. I'm long winded—blame my father. He never shuts up.

—**Blade**

P.S. The chapter title is from a Buffy episode. Look it up.


	11. Chapter Eleven

.

.

.

.

The Taming of the Stubborn Inuyoukai

* * *

_It's been one week since you looked at me_

_Threw your arms in the air_

_and said "You're crazy"_

_Five days since you tackled me_

_I've still got the rug burns on both my knees_

_It's been three days since the afternoon_

_You realized it's not my fault_

_not a moment too soon_

_Yesterday you'd forgiven me_

_And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry._

—_One Week - Barenaked Ladies_

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**|Double Edged Love

It was so faint it was a wonder she could feel it at all—the heartache, the lingering call. Kagome was drawn to it, the invisible thread tugged at her even as she worked through her sword forms. She couldn't ignore it, try as she might; however, she did so for _him_.

He knew where to find her.

Strands of black hair stuck to her forehead and neck as sweat coiled a path down her throat, between her breasts, along her back, and then some. She could feel it coming loose from the high and tight ponytail she's bound it in. With each motion a burst of cold air swept over the bare parts and under her haori, tickling her skin and easing the burn.

She was fighting an unknown foe, striking and watching as electric magenta energy created a trail of light that blended with sharp rainbow steel. She spun, inhaling once, and cut the air as she closed her eyes. The exhale through her mouth left her the moment she stepped into the next position.

It would feel better to hit something, she realized. When she opened her eyes and struck forward she saw him—amber hues, long silver strands, and a heat in his gaze. No, a passion. When he deflected she smiled and struck again. _One, two, three, four…_ over and over again. The clang of metal against metal became a prong of noise—no, a beat—in her ears. It was a song, a series of notes; perhaps theirs. The more she wove into it, the more she followed those motions, the more everything hurt and lifted at the same time.

Kagome flipped back as he drove on, racing towards her. When she landed she remained in her crouched position and lifted the flat of her blade, supporting it with the palm of her hand. When he struck down on her just as she defended, bearing with all his might, she cried out and pushed back with a burst of energy. Another cry; she was stepping forward and up, following her fluid steps with beautifully angry strikes.

When he pulled back again and struck at her with the whip, a thing of raw youki, she struck it back and allowed it to become entangled in her sword. A grin; a burst of overwhelming power; a flick of her wrist. It died and broke apart.

_You're not here…. but I wish you were…_

And then she jumped, holding her blade high. Her eyes locked on his, watching the way they narrowed and softened. And when he defended her blow this time—the same way she had a moment ago—the image shifted… faded. But, not into nothing as she'd been expecting.

Kagome panted, drew in breath as she relaxed her form and took a step back. They were the same eyes, just not the ones she wanted—the ones that called to her last night and kept her from sleep. Cobalt blues held his for a moment, briefly taking him in: the tied back silver-white strands, the lack of tuff-topped ears on his head, the loose-fitting faded jeans, the long-sleeved fashionable sweater in red with a scarf, and… the way he wasn't saying anything—just carefully watching her with some kind of understanding in his eyes.

She closed hers, exhaling once more, and wiped her brow. And then she looked at him again. A beat of moment passed before she flicked her wrist, silver-pearl reflecting in the light with a rainbow of shimmers, and charged him.

He met her easily, youki pouring off of him—the Tessaiga. Amenonuhoko, the blade in her hand, felt powerful. As she fought him, her emotions an overflowing internal pot, her aura became suffused with whatever the holy weapon offered. Love, anger, joy, regret, and sadness—but, mostly love for a man she wasn't sure would let her save him anymore. And then something clicked; something she hadn't been feeling before. It wrapped up her arm as she continued her assault, sinking into to her muscle fiber even as she both ignored it and fed it.

Somehow her steps, strikes, became smoother than before—faster. And in a matter of moments she had him disarmed, the charge of his weapon dispersing as it struck into the dirt a few yards away. Once again, it looked like an ordinary katana.

She was panting again, grip hard on the hilt in her hand. She was staring at him, this time not looking away. She half wondered why he'd risen to her challenge, why he wasn't saying anything. Not a word… just staring at her with those soft golden depths as they caught their breath.

Eventually though, she did look away. She took purposeful steps towards the old well house and reached for the towel hanging up on a nail. She felt him behind her a moment later as she wiped her face and neck, as she dropped the terrycloth over her shoulder and reached for a bottle of water.

"Not exactly the reunion I was expectin'," she heard him say.

"Same," she murmured before taking a swig. Water trailed down her neck in drops; when she pulled it back, gasping, she wiped her mouth on the towel before turning to him.

She wasn't sure if she should be angry at him. It didn't seem right; he didn't have anything to do with his brother's imprisonment. No, not at all. But, he hadn't told her either. And then there was the surreal uncertainty about how to react. She'd loved him once, after all. Seeing him now… she wasn't in love with him anymore, but memories had a way of tugging. What ones surfaced were bittersweet.

Kagome picked up her sword from where she'd leaned it against the well house. She slid it back into the scabbard and moved to rest it where it had been once more. She wasn't sure what she was more surprised by though with his next course of action: the fact that he felt comfortable enough to hug her, or, that he assumed it would be alright. But… she let the rage caused by Kimi, by her own actions and Sesshoumaru's feelings, ebb away. Kagome shut her eyes and wrapped her arms around him, returning the gesture as her heart swelled. She let herself feel all that she'd told herself she'd feel for years if she ever saw him again.

It didn't seem worth it to be angry at him.

"I'm sorry, wench," he whispered, using her caustic nickname like an endearment as he squeezed once. "I should've just told ya."

She felt laughter bubbling, caught up in a sob. "It's alright. You were always a moron."

"Still am." He held her a bit longer, letting his slightly larger frame swallow her—perhaps to shield her from whatever grief he understood her to be feeling. But when she started to shake a little he pulled back. His hands went to her shoulders. "Aw man, don't cry, Kagome."

"I'm not, you idiot," she denied while wiping her eyes, as he reached up and brushed tears aside for her. When he gave her a pointed look caught up with a smirk she sighed and smiled. "Alright, maybe I am." She paused, looking down at her hands as she messed with the belting holding her hakama around her waist. "I missed you. Bad timing, as usual—but I missed you. That and I really want to hit you."

"Too bad the beads are long gone, huh?" he grinned unabashedly as his hands went to his hips. "You could've just sat me to death."

She sighed, but the genuine smile remained as she met his gaze. Even when things were really bad, even when he'd been a complete jackass, Inuyasha always had a way of making her feel better. Sometimes it was on purpose; though, most of the time he did it without even trying.

"I'm glad you're here."

He scratched the back of his head, looking thoughtful. "Yeah, well… the old lady said ya wanted to see me. Hell though, after what she told me I would've come anyway—invited or not." His gaze shifted to the house and then back to her when his arm dropped to his side. "He's not here, huh?"

Kagome shook her head. "No, he didn't come home last night either. I'm worried about him, but… I'm not going to force him to see me. Not after…"

"Yeah… I hear ya…" It was his turn to sigh.

Kagome inhaled deeply, refusing to cry again. She'd done enough of that last night. And so, she forced her face to brighten. "He'll come when he's ready. In the meantime though, you want something to drink? The cold's starting to catch up with me."

"Beer?"

Kagome grabbed Amenonuhoko and hooked her arm through his, leading him towards her back door. "Maybe. I'll have to look. I know we have sake."

"Anything'll do at this point."

"Bad morning?"

"Eh… I'll tell you about it later." He removed his arm from hers so that he could open the door for her. Before she went in he caught her gaze. "Right now I'm more interested in helpin' you, got it?"

And then Kagome realized why she couldn't really be upset with him despite the lies, despite the hiding. Inuyasha was, if nothing else, a devote friend; if there was anything she needed right now… it was a good friend. When she smiled again it wasn't as forced.

"Thank you."

* * *

Amber-gold depths focused on a place in the sky beyond the glass panes, idly listening to his own breath as he sat there. He listened to beating of his heart as well, the steady rhythm it provided. In some way it allowed him a calm he did not truly possess; not when every nerve in his body was made to be frayed and rubbed raw. The pain had spread from his chest his limbs at some point last night; he could walk, but getting up from the mattress felt lackluster when he was unmotivated.

Had he ever been as much?

The plush bedclothes were crumpled around him, pushed aside and half rolled. His legs were crossed into a partial lotus pose, but his feet were under him rather than resting atop his thighs.

Rin had come by to give him breakfast, asking him if he wanted to do something. He'd told her no then, wanting to sleep more and perhaps focus on getting a handle on the way his whole body felt—as if ice water was suffusing into his veins. He'd meditated after eating, but it had only ebbed to a tolerable level.

He couldn't help but think about Kagome then. It wasn't that the pain made him want to go to her. The curse had nothing to do with forcing his want. Her feelings…. his… that made him want to go. But he wasn't sure he could face her, not when he felt like a two-sided coin and couldn't make up his mind. And the internal war made it worse, he supposed… All that she'd wanted for him…

It was the first time in his life in a long time he'd felt like someone wanted him to be who he had been once before. Kagome wanted him to regain his confidence, his drive, and his ability to made swift decisions for himself. She'd, in effect, made him feel safe enough to make some choices; not just about clothes. Fighting her… it hadn't been like it once was, but there was something euphoric and freeing when he'd done it. It had been ages since he'd taken up a weapon even just for a sparring match. And when he felt her desire to go back to the way things had once been… he couldn't help wanting to feel that way as well.

His hand drew up, palm pressing flat to center of his bare chest.

He was a little numb without her—cold. Was this some kind of dependence brought on by abuse? Had it been her light he'd grabbed onto because it had been the only one in his many years of servitude? Was there something more?

Sesshoumaru sighed, shutting his eyes against the sunshine streaming in from the window. His hand dropped to his lap.

No, he wasn't angry with her. She'd gone back on her vow, true. That made it difficult. But beyond that, Sesshoumaru had always had a difficult time with trust—with love. Learning that he possessed compassion for Rin—that she wasn't just the result of a test or a passing amusement—had taken him to the bowls of the underworld after all.

And she did love him… Kagome did. Her feelings were too pure and brilliant to be anything else. He hadn't known what to make of them before—why they affected him so; not until that day after their battle. Her words brought clarity; they shifted something he still couldn't name.

There was the way it felt after: confused, overjoyed, and entirely at her mercy. It was incredibly hard not to love her, even if he didn't think he knew how; maybe that's why he didn't want to go home—to her home. It wasn't just his mother, it wasn't that Kagome had broken his trust; it was that he didn't know what to do with himself in lieu of so many emotions he'd either never been taught or had forgotten how to manage.

Loving Rin was easy. Loving Kagome… it wasn't the same. It wasn't a familial love. It required him to give more. He didn't know if he had anything left worth giving her—worth giving to a girl who did _nothing_ but give.

"Otousan…?"

He was surprised he hadn't heard the door. Slowly, his eyes opened and he turned his head just so in that direction to look over his shoulder. Rin looked much the same as she did yesterday. No sweater; just a short sleeved t-shirt and another pair of jeans with sneakers. Her hair was pulled back with a headband, allowing him to see all of her face.

"I am awake," he told her softly, turning back to look out the window.

"I brought you something to drink. Is green tea alright? I brewed a fresh pot." She came around to the side of the bed that faced the window as set down a tray on the mattress.

Idly, he looked down at the small porcelain pot with rose colored designs. Two matching cups sat next to it. "Please," he replied.

Rin smiled brightly and took a seat on the edge of the bed. One leg hung off the side while the other folded at an angle in front of her. He watched as she went about the process of pouring. "Feeling any better?"

He didn't want to lie to her. "Well enough." He paused for the length of time it required him to remove the cup from her hands, nodding once. "…How are the children?"

"Not here, unfortunately." She took a sip of the hot brew and then licked her lips. "Jiro decided to try spelunking in America and Kai has taken an acting contract in Los Angeles."

"Acting?" he blinked.

She laughed softly, covering her mouth. "Mhm… he started in stunt work, but…" she shrugged. "Turns out he enjoys the limelight too much."

"And Taishi?" She was the oldest. Rin and Hiroto—her mate—had decided to name her after her great grandfather. At least, as close as they could without emasculating the name. She'd been the only birth he'd been around for, and twins… they'd been named beforehand.

Rin let out a long sigh, looking up but not disappointed. "Doctor, if you can believe it. She mostly works with youkai children these days. She'll probably switch to something new in another fifty years. For while she ran her own dojo and then came the art phase."

It felt good knowing his grandchildren were doing well. "Are they happy?" he asked in finality.

"Very."

He nodded again and looked out the window once more; at the same time, he took a measure of peace from the company she provided. It was unusual. As a child, Rin had shaken him. She'd made too much noise, asked too many questions, and relieved him of sleep so often that he'd eventually grown accustomed to dozing through it. And now… here she was, looking out the window with him and basking the silence.

It made him smile when he shouldn't feel like smiling at all.

"What?" she asked in the same soft voice; the one that wasn't so loud it grated his already fried insides.

"I was merely observing your silence."

"Does it bother you?" He felt her smirk more than saw it. "I could talk more. I just sort of thought you might not need conversation at the moment."

"You are not wrong," he agreed before lifting the cup to his lips. "But… I never minded your chatter."

She chuckled at that and her warmth bloomed. "You never talked enough, Otousan. And well, Jaken…" She wrinkled her nose, but he could tell it wasn't done spitefully. "He wasn't much fun at all."

He resisted the urge to laugh. "He did his job."

"Ah yes… making sure I stayed out of trouble. Wasn't always successful, you know." She leaned on her arm then, hand on the bed. Her free hand lifted the cup and she partook once more. "How long are you going to stay away from Kagome?" she asked seriously.

He didn't reply right away and she took that as an indication to keep going.

Rin sighed as she looked at him. "What happened? Did she do something—."

"It wasn't her fault."

"Ah." A long pause, but she didn't look away from him. "I called them back—the kids. Might take a few days though. I figured you'd want to see them."

"That would be good." He was glad she changed the topic.

"Did you want to stay in your room all day? It's the weekend and she won't be here. She and Inuysha both are in the city residence."

_Probably for Kagome._

"We could go watch some TV. I can make dinner," she offered. "Hiroto would love to see you."

He should leave the room, he realized; he should move. Already, he could sense the ache traveling to his bones. Moving would alleviate it. But he wasn't certain he wanted to leave this particular wing of the home for risk of seeing his mother—for fear of what he would do to her if he saw her again. Just the thought of her had his blood roaring and his youki threatening to make itself known.

"Can we stay in this wing?"

"If you prefer. We have our own living room. Well, a room we turned into one."

"I do."

"Alright. Did you need some more sleep?"

His body sought it even as he tried to quell the desire. Silver bangs jostled against his cheeks as he shook his head. "No. I believe I have slept enough." His gaze met hers finally, pulling away from the window. "Allow me to get dressed and I will join you in the hallway."

"Sure."

She gave him a hug and then departed as quietly as she'd come, making him realize the reason he hadn't heard her wasn't entirely his fault; it wasn't just that he'd been distracted by his own inner turmoil. No…

Rin's quiet was entirely her own.

* * *

"What are ya gonna do?"

Several hours had passed in Inuysha's company. Souta was at a friend's house, trying to suck up the last of his spring break; her mother had plans with her own; and her grandfather was busy doing kami only knew what. She absorbed the absence of anyone in the house to talk to her long lost friend, in some way using him to ease the lack of one daiyoukai.

"I don't know," she told him from where she sat on the couch. The TV was off and she could see daylight gradually departing from the softly curtained window. "I don't want to push. I want him to make up his own mind. He's had enough of other people deciding his fate for him." She looked at him. "She told me you threated to leave."

"The old lady?" he asked as he met her gaze. He was slouched, legs spread in front of him in a way that was purely Inuyasha. She watched as he rubbed his chin. "Well, yeah. I sure as fuck did. I mean… back then he pissed me off, right? But, hell, I love the bastard. I loved him then.

"Wasn't her place—anyone's—to the pull that kinda crap. If it weren't for Kikyo I'd have just given her the middle finger and slammed the door."

Kagome failed to stifle a laugh. It was hard not to. "Yeah, I heard."

"I'd tell you to call him back, but I get why you don't want to." She watched as his ears drew back at the same time his eyes lowered and his lashes dropped just so. He'd gotten rid of the glamour once they were inside of the house. It felt right being able to see his expressions that way. She'd forgotten how endearing it was. "He's stubborn though. He'll just keep on enduring the pain until you go get him or make him come to you."

"I know… I just…" She sighed and her whole body curved into itself.

"I don't envy you one bit."

"Inuyasha?"

"Yeah…?"

"Why'd you pick me?" she asked softly as she looked down at the can of pop in her hands. She bent over then, elbows moving to rest on her knees. "His mother explained some of it, but… I want to hear it from you."

"It ain't obvious?"

She punched his shoulder.

"Hey!" He pouted at her.

"Don't be stupid. Ok?" She frowned, looking down even as her upper body faced him slightly. "I just… I want to know. I need to hear you say it. _You_."

He rubbed his arm, fingers flexing over his bicep around the material of his sweater. "'Cause I knew you wouldn't fuck it up, alright?"

"What the hell does that even mean?"

His lips curled into a scowl and he huffed once. "You were always a good person, wench. Always. Alright? You just got a way of getting under people's skin and doin' the right thing—making them see the light. I didn't like the idea of you not gettin' a heads-up, but I knew if you got a chance to fix this you would. You'd figure it out. Hell, maybe in the process help him through all the bullshit he'd been put through." He paused. "And you have, ya know? Some of it. The bastard's actually smilin'."

"Yeah, he has been…" Her smile was sad—doubting.

"Plus, it helps you knew him before."

"What do you mean?"

He finished of his soda and then crushed the can in his grip. "To all of them he was just some sideshow, a way to pass the time once the shine wore off. They didn't know him back then. At least not past the first girl or two. And they didn't have a reason to care, like you do." He met her gaze once more. "You were my friend, Kagome. You loved all of us and you hated leaving. Back then, in your own way, you cared about him too.

"I… don't know how to explain it, really. I went with my gut."

Her heart warmed at that. She understood what he had a hard time saying, what didn't totally make sense to him. She let out a breath and allowed her body to relax in the warmth his words provided. "Thanks… But, I still don't know how I'm going to fix it. I love him. And because I love him I want this to be a choice for him…"

"All he wants is to be free, Kagome. I don't think the worst thing for him is getting saddled with you…" He set the crushed can on the coffee table. "The worst thing is him going on like he has."

She conceded that point, she supposed. "Too bad youkai can't get…" She stilled as familiar words started to form themselves son her tongue.

"What?"

Kagome blinked as it hit her. Blue eyes went wide. "Sesshoumaru told me youkai can get divorced."

"Well… yeah." He blinked. "It's just not done often. S'pretty risky." And then his eyes narrowed in thought. What she was implying clicked in place. "Kagome…" he hedged.

Her eyes flashed to his. "I know it's risky, but it's possible, right?"

His lips were a flat line as his eyes shot daggers at her. "If you expect me to tell you how then you're out of your damn—."

"What else do you suggest?!" she snapped. "He's suffering, Inuyasha. He's been suffering for four lifetimes."

"I know, god damnit," he muttered. "But I'm not keen on helpin' you kill yourself either." He watched as she looked to deflate entirely, her body slackening and her eyelids dropping halfway. "…God, you're just as stubborn as the rest of us," he bit off next. "You realize if you do this it's a death wish? You thought about that? Huh? Thought about what Shippou would do if you left this world before he got to see you?" When she didn't say anything and just kept on drooping he went on. "I'm not saying no…"

"But you're not saying yes either."

Kagome got it; she did. She wasn't 'keen' on dying either. It wasn't just Shippou. What about her mother? Souta? Her grandfather? Would it really be so bad to mate with Sesshoumaru? To stay with him? To spend the rest of her life trying to make him happy…. even if meant it hadn't been one-hundred percent what he wanted?

"I guess I don't know what I want to do," she admitted softly.

"You love him, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then you know." Inuyasha reached for her hand squeezed. "Look," he murmured. "Think about this. Really think, alright?"

"And then what?"

She felt his fingers on her chin and let him pull her gaze to his; she let him hold it. His eyes were strong, serious. Hot amber bore into hers as he spoke. "Mate with him, wench. Give it a week, alright? If after a week you're still sure about doin' this, 'bout goin' down this path, I'll give you anything you need." And then he released her. "But there's another condition."

"I'm listening."

"I don't know how to do it. Never had a reason to. And the only person I know who does is the old lady. You'd have to talk to her."

"Figures…" she muttered.

"Forget about her. You still gotta decide you wanna dive into the commitment. And you gotta realize if you do and then decide to do this he's gonna be pissed at you, right?"

Kagome blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Sesshoumaru," he deadpanned. "He's not gonna be happy about breakin' it if ya do this."

She hadn't really thought about that.

"He won't let you, Kagome. Think about that."

She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off.

"You hide this from him and he won't be happy either. Would you be happy with him doin' this for you? Doing this insane shit you're talkin' about doin'?"

Kagome hesitated. She recalled that day on their way home, the day she'd broached the topic with him and the way he'd reacted. No… no he wouldn't happy about it. She wouldn't be happy about if she were in his place either. But… he'd be free… she'd be without him… perhaps forever…

…but he'd be free.

* * *

Kagome stepped into the silence of the shrine's main room. Her socked feet padded across the gleaming wooden floor and her eyes drifted towards the assortment of lit candles. The lack of electric lighting gave it a lulling glow; so lulling in fact that she found herself standing there for a few long moments in a sort of trance until her grandfather's voice pulled her out of it.

"Are you ready?"

Kagome blinked, refocusing her gaze towards the old man in the center of the room. He sat across from her almost. "Yeah," she murmured before joining him, moving to sit down with her legs crossed under her before him. A single candle was on the floor between them.

There was a part of her that felt transported back in time, ironic as that sounded. The hum the candles, the fact that they both wore matching haori and hakama, and the very essence of the space made it seem that way.

"Do you remember what I told you earlier today?"

Kagome nodded. "Focus on my breath, my energy, and the one I want to connect with."

"Create the image in your mind—of your connection to them," he told her. "Force all else out; this room, your fears, me."

"I understand."

"This isn't entirely without danger either. I'll be here with your body so you won't have to worry about anything happening to that."

"There's a but in there somewhere, isn't there?" Her smile was rueful.

"You can't stay for too long," he urged seriously, ignoring her attempt at humor. "You won't be able to get back if you do."

"How will I know to return?"

"You'll feel the tie to your body fading—as if a bulb were going out from within. For some people it's a sharp tug."

"Duly noted." she gave another sharp nod.

"Your mother will kill me if you don't come back, girl," he bit off, no real anger behind the remark. "Don't do anything stupid."

"I won't," she promised as she moved to rest her hand on her knees, palms up and fingers relaxed. "Got anymore sagely advice, old man, or can I start?"

"Watch your tongue," he shot back, scowling at her briefly. And then it faded to a soft frown. "Yes… be careful."

She replied to his remark by simply closing her eyes, by allowing her aura to expand from within her core. She let it moved slowly so that it could branch out in equal measure from her chest to her thighs, shoulders, forearms, toes, fingers, and finally her neck and up to her head. She focused on balancing the amount until she felt whole with it—until she felt one with herself and her energy.

"Good," she heard her grandfather murmur.

And then she shut him out and took steady breaths through her nose, exhaling out of her mouth. She could sense it channeling, that energy moving like blood through her veins. There was never more or less in one place or another. And once she was sure she she'd done it correctly, that she could no longer hear or feel the world around her, that she could only feel her own essence floating in her body… she thought of Sango…

She thought of her voice, her face, the way she fought; she focused on her laugh and all the times she slapped Miroku for his wandering hands; she thought of the way she lifted Kagome up, the way she spoke, the way her eyebrows would rise and her lips would part in confusion when she didn't quite understand something… the way Kagome had always viewed her as a sister… as someone to lean on… as someone who'd confided in her and vice versa.

Most of all, she thought of how much she missed her.

_Sango…_

Pink engulfed the darkness behind her eyes, pulling her far away and above. For a brief moment Kagome saw the world under her; she saw the top of her own head and her grandfather. And then there was nothing but the light—a billion blooming candles. That light overtook her and she found herself shutting her eyes, closing away from it entirely as a whirlwind of something swept her away.

There was a roar of wind in her ears and then nothing. She'd been sitting before; so when she felt something under her feet she reached for solidity to regain her balance. But there was nothing. Kagome open her eyes, one foot stepping forward as she inhaled sharply.

...The feudal era…?

She blinked several times in some vain attempt to remove the gloss that covered everything. It all glowed for a while and she realized her essence, the not-body she was in, was adjusting to the world she'd entered. Suddenly, bird song could be heard. It was muffled initially, but then became clear. Everything became clear slowly, seeming less like a dream and more like reality.

"…Kagome?"

She turned where she stood on a green space of earth. Trees became a blur around her as she moved to face where her back had been. And then she smiled—ran. The woman before her dropped what she'd been holding and laughed as she embraced Kagome.

"It is you!" she cried.

Kagome laughed with her, refusing to shed tears even as the demon hunter pulled back and gave her a once over.

"Kami, you've grown," she said next, surprised. "How old are you now? Twenty? Wait, how did you get here?" And then brow knit. "You didn't—."

"I'm not dead," she assured her, still unable to stop smiling. "I just needed to see you. Grandfather taught me how to send my spirit to realm of the dead so that I could. But… I don't think I have a lot of time."

Sango let out a sigh as her hand came to her chest, obviously relieved. "That's good. Wonderful, in fact. I'm not unhappy to see you, but…"

She looked just the same as ever, Kagome thought. The yukata she was wearing was the one she'd always donned when they weren't fighting for their lives. There was nothing out of place; even her hair looked just as it had to the day she's gone back home through the well. How old had Sango been when she passed? How had she died? Did Kagome want to know?

"You've got a lot on your mind," Sango said next, as if sensing it. Her brow knit and Kagome could almost feel the way she looked right through her. "But I can sense what you mean about time…" Her gaze drifted to behind Kagome, looking as if she could see something the miko could not. And then she moved to her side, her hand on Kagome's back to urge her. "Come, let's sit down. Tell me what's wrong."

Kagome wanted to ask her a million things all at the same time—about Miroku, about her life, if she'd had any children. It all swam in her head, beckoning. But she forced down. These were things she could ask at a later if she came back—she would. Right now she needed to talk to her friend about her most urgent problem; she needed an ear and a voice that would understand.

And so they sat down side by side on the hill. The miko wasted no time in divulging it all from start to finish. She told Sango about the curse, about her grandfather, about Inuyasha, and about Sesshoumaru's mother. She told her about the night before and how awful she felt. And by the time she was done with the whole story she found it difficult not to cry again.

And Sango said nothing; she'd been quiet for a time, but Kagome had expected her to say something once she finished. The miko found herself staring at the brunette as she looked out over the landscape before them, as Sango wrapped her arms around her bent legs. Her eyes were narrowed and contemplative.

"That's…" the other woman started. "…I don't really know what to say." She met her gaze then. "What does your heart tell you?"

"…I want to go through with it," she admitted. "But I don't want to lie to him."

"You fear he'll reject you after you break the binding?"

Kagome nodded.

Sango sighed. "I must admit, I worry about you dying just the same as Inuyasha. I love you like a sister, Kagome, and I'd love to have you here with me…. but… not before your time." She was quiet, waiting for Kagome to say something—to argue with her. But when she didn't she continued speaking. "Do you think if you do this it will be irreparable with him?"

"I don't know."

"That is your fear though," she repeated, almost as if to herself. "You don't want to be like his mother."

"I don't."

"You're not, Kagome."

"How is this not being like her?" Kagome asked as she spread her hand in from of her and stared at them. "I'll be deciding things for him without asking how he feels."

"But you know how he feels about it."

"And you think his mother didn't know how he'd feel? About her trapping him?"

Sango place a gentle hand on her shoulder and leaned in. Kagome jerked to look at her, eyes wide and shaking. Sango watched as Kagome bit her lower lip, as she shut her eyes.

"I'm _scared_, Sango. I don't know what the right thing to do is."

"Listen to me," she whispered. "This is different. It is. She did what she did out of selfish desire brought on by grief. And you I both know she could have named someone else heir—Inuyasha even. She could have. It wouldn't have been the first time blood was shed or lives were lost over youkai posturing, trust me. Such wars begin over less and are ended on more. Do you hear me?"

Kagome nodded once, unable to find words.

"Now, I don't know what the right answer is…. but lying to someone out of love is a hell of a lot different than lying to them for your own benefit. You're reasons are pure, Kagome. I can't promise he won't hate you, but I can promise you that you're not her.

"_You're not_."

"I don't want him to hate me, Sango… I just… I want him to be happy. I want him to have the chance at a life that's his own."

"That's love, Kagome," she urged her strongly, quietly. "Love means sacrifice. Sometimes it means taking the hard road. For you…. that road might be losing Sesshumaru if you go through with this."

"There's no right answer, is there?"

"No."

Kagome exhaled shakily and wiped her eyes. She looked out over the endless distance of green and blue. Sango's advice was honest and real even if it didn't help her entirely. "What would you do?" she whispered, needing to know. "If it were Miroku… what would you do?"

"I'd take the risk," she said just as quietly. "I think… I think I'd rather him hate me and be free to love who he wanted or not at all."

Kagome nodded.

"If he really loves you, Kagome… you'll have to bet on him forgiving you. That's really what this is all about."

She was right. Kagome knew. Doing it this way required a leap of faith; it required her to potentially hurt the man she loved by doing to him what he would view as yet another betrayal. But she also recognized that it wasn't the same thing. She wasn't doing this, planning to do this at least, because it benefited her. In fact, _nothing_ about it benefited her. She could die. She could, potentially, end up right where she was right now with Sango for company. Well, assuming the rules for the afterlife landed her here… somehow.

A very big part of her hated that she had to go through his mother to do it. It would be better if there were someone else. Anyone else. She hated involving Inuyasha as well. She knew it would cause a strain on their relationship—his and Sesshoumaru's. Really, it wasn't fair to put him in such a position. She couldn't.

"_There is always another way."_

She almost jumped at the way her grandfather's voice rang in her head, arguing that she was being short-sighted. It sent a chill through her, raising gooseflesh and asking she look at all the angles. The miko inhaled gently, wide eyes rippling with something—something burning on the cusp of her subconscious.

"Kagome?" Sango asked, hand squeezing her shoulder.

She met her gaze again, blinking once as she came out of her thought-inducing epiphany. "I think I know what I need to do," she said at once, voice airy and full of disbelief.

Sango smiled as if she knew; she probably did, being dead and in a spirit realm. It wouldn't shock her to learn she could read minds. "I know, but you need to go, Kagome."

It was then Kagome felt the tug to return to her body or risk being stuck here forever. Her hand reached out and she intertwined her fingers in Sango's—squeezing. "I'll miss you. I'll come back."

"I look forward to it." When Sango hugged her she returned it. Even as she let herself slip away, let her body merge with the grasping brilliant light, she held on tighter.

"Thank you for your counsel," Kagome whispered.

"Anytime…" she heard the demon hunter say before it was gone—before all that was before her was lost in the roar of wind in her ears.

* * *

When Kagome was in her body again—her real body—she was heady. Dizzy. Her spirit and aura felt as though they'd been tossed into a blender on high. There were hands on her shoulders to steady her. Her grandfather's. His voice sounded like she had ear muffs on; the ringing didn't help either. Eventually something was pressed to her lips. Water. She drank it and gasped when it was pulled away.

And then the world slowly came back into focus. Lines cleared and she could see his eyes, the age lines under his eyes, and his angular face.

"Can you hear me now?" he asked.

"Yeah…" she managed to get out, blinking.

"Take a moment."

Kagome nodded, not feeling well enough to speak again. She closed her eyes and waited for her spirit and aura to separate like oil and water needing to settle in a bottle. Minutes passed on in silence. Blatantly, she wondered if the reason for the candles had everything to do with how her senses were fried coming back and nothing to do with the process of seeing Sango.

Finally, the world felt normal.

"Better?" her grandfather asked once she opened her eyes again.

"Much." And that's about the time she noticed the look in his, the worry. Her own narrowed. "What's wrong?"

"Rin called the shrine while you were out," he admitted. "I wanted to tell you immediately, but—."

"Sesshoumaru's Rin?" she asked, not waiting for him to finish. "Is it about Sesshoumaru?"

"Yes. She wanted you to call her right back. She sounded—."

Kagome got up immediately, not waiting for him to finish. She felt it all at once; why she'd taken so long to get her bearings. Her body had been trying to sort out just what she was feeling—what _he_ was feeling.

The door thwacked the wall behind her and she nearly slipped reaching for the phone in the kitchen. Kagome had never hit the buttons on her caller ID so quickly, nor had she been more happy that someone's number hadn't come up 'unknown'. She couldn't say she'd ever dialed quite as fast before either.

Her heart hammered in her ears as she heard the ringing tone, praying to kami someone picked up.

"Kagome?" she heard a female voice say.

"Rin?" she asked, unable to keep the urgency out of her voice. "What's happened? I can—."

"He's in pain, Kagome," she said brokenly. "He didn't want me to call you. He begged me not to. But I can't—," Kagome listened as the other woman took a breath inward. "I can't _keep_ watching this happen to him.

"_Please_."

"Give me your address."

As she did so Kagome jotted it down on a slip of paper next to the phone that was hung on the wall. "Take a cab. I'll pay the fare," Rin told her next, voice a little stronger. "Just get here as soon as you can."

"I will."

* * *

**AN :: **I love it when a plan comes together; at the very least, when I can update on time. Fair warning though, school is starting later this month and I have Dragoncon in the beginning of September. So... if you see a delay on the update, well, it happens. Life, that is. I will try to get them done beforehand though-all my chapters for all my stories. Yar.

Anyway, did you like it? Love it? Hate it? Wanna bash me in the head for being so bloody effing drama-ey? Wasn't this fic supposed to be half humor? Gah, what the hell happened... Hell, even the lyrics in the start of every chapter hardly fit anymore. Murrrrr~ oh well. See you guys next month. Feel free to check me out on facebook under Kit Roe. Yes, that's my author page. Har har.

**—Blade **


	12. Chapter Twelve

.

.

.

.

The Taming of the Stubborn Inuyoukai

* * *

_It's been one week since you looked at me_

_Threw your arms in the air_

_and said "You're crazy"_

_Five days since you tackled me_

_I've still got the rug burns on both my knees_

_It's been three days since the afternoon_

_You realized it's not my fault_

_not a moment too soon_

_Yesterday you'd forgiven me_

_And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry._

—_One Week - Barenaked Ladies_

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**|Rubbed Raw

"Do you want anymore?"

Sesshoumaru looked up from where he'd been staring at his empty wine glass. Rin had just removed the plates from the table and handed them off to a maid of some sort. At present, she met his gaze with raised brows and one hand on her hip.

"I could pour you another glass."

The alcohol helped dull his senses enough to forget his body's complaint; however, it would take a bit more than three glasses to numb him enough to think it wasn't there at all.

"Please," he told her as he lifted it to her waiting hand.

When the maid left, her cart full of dirty dishes, he asked, "Will they not tell your grandmother I am here?" His gaze focused on Rin as she popped a cork with a grunt.

"They work for me, not grandmother," she said as she poured next. "And they know I would fire all of them if I suspected they told her about you."

"Can she not smell me?" His mother wouldn't be able to sense him; Sesshoumaru had become very good at keeping his youki hidden. But a nose… that was difficult to lie to, especially in a place so remote with so few scents.

"I don't want her in my business. It's agreed that I stay to my wing with my family and she to her own unless we invite one another. We only meet in the middle of the house." She shrugged. "Hiroto had wards made a long time ago so she couldn't smell who came and went on our side."

"They haven't been on good terms for a while," the very man she spoke of offered to his left. He smiled gently as he met her scowl. "You hide it well, but you were never very happy with her after what she did to Sesshoumaru-sama."

Sesshoumaru found his gaze traveling to Rin's husband. Like all inuyoukai of their clan he had silver-white hair, amber eyes, and a fair complexion. His hair was long, as was traditional; bound up in two braids that fell down his back. His face markings were minimal, but visible enough on his chin and forehead. In some ways he reminded Sesshoumaru of Inuyasha; easy to smile, easy to speak with, and mirth never far from his eyes. Unlike his brother though, he did not anger quite as easily, and when he did it was not as violent. Well… as violent as his brother once had been. Sesshoumaru could not speak of his brother's emotional outbursts anymore than he could of Rin's former perpetual chatter.

"I don't hate her," Rin argued as she took a seat on the other side of the table next to Sesshoumaru and across from Hiroto. She slid the glass of wine to her father. "It's just difficult for me to be close with her."

"Didn't say you did," Hiroto remarked as he moved to rest his chin in his hand, elbow on the table. "I'm just commenting on the fact that there's tension."

Rin shrugged before taking of a sib of her own glass. "We don't fight," she told Sesshoumaru. "But it doesn't matter much anyway. I didn't invite you to dinner to talk about her."

"Why don't you show him the photo albums?" Hiroto offered with another smile. "We have stacks of them."

"That is a good idea." She stood up quickly and dashed across the room and out.

Hiroto chuckled as he watched her go. "I don't care what anyone says, she hasn't changed at all. Still talks a mile a minute if you get her going about something she's interested in and still just a flighty if you get her distracted."

"I wouldn't know," Sesshoumaru answered perhaps too honestly. There was no reason not to be though, and he hurt too much to try and hide it—physically and emotionally. Aside from that, he felt no desire to pretend in front of those he still considered family.

"…You didn't miss too much," Hiroto offered softly.

"I was not around to see the twins born. Nor was I there for their first hunt."

"True." A pause as he tapped the table a few times with his fingers, thumping them with a roll of motion. "You're here now though."

But for how long, he wondered even as he tried not to think about it. He brought the glass to his lips as he looked on at the door Rin had left through.

"She's really happy to see you, you know. Wanted to for a long time."

"My mother stopped her, I'm sure."

"She did, but I think it was Inuyasha that kept her from doing anything too rash." Sesshoumaru turned to look at him as the other man rapped idly on the table with his knuckles. "She's snuck out a few times to look in on you over the years. Always kept her distance though."

"Did she?"

Hiroto nodded. "Most of the time your mother didn't know."

"Why didn't anyone try to visit me?"

"I think they were worried it would hurt your pride, especially if you found out there wasn't much anyone could do. They knew you were going through a lot. Why make it worse with sad faces?"

Sesshoumaru wanted to snort at that. Perhaps two hundred years ago it might have hurt his pride. Any time after that and he would have been happy to have seen his family, even if only in passing—even if they lied to his former masters about who they were to protect him.

"Found them!" Rin exclaimed as she came back in the room with a tablet. "We still have them in books, but I keep them all on here to protect the originals. Had them scanned a while ago." She practically plopped down in her chair before scooting closer to Sesshoumaru.

The tablet was already on and settled on a picture—an old black and white of the family.

"Eash, the clothes were such a pain then. I wished we had a camera for when they were born! They were so cute. Too bad we never bribed Kagome into giving us one with a few rolls of film. I would have saved them…"

Sesshoumaru snorted as they began swiping through the images. "You? The imp you were? You would have taken pictures of everything else—butterflies and trees; and that's only if your thumb didn't cover more than half the images. I'd have been lucky to save a roll of it for later use when the pups were born."

Rin grumbled once, more so when Hiroto began to laugh.

"He's right," his son-in-law told her. "Might as well wipe that frown off your face because you know he is."

Sesshoumaru basked silently in the laughter that came after as they went through the pictures. Decades passed on before his eyes, stories did. He listened as Hiroto and Rin told him about each day, each place, and each graduation everytime one of them went to school and got some new degree for some new hobby-career. Black and whites folded into color, folded into panoramic images, polaroids, and eventually HD images and those from camera phones sent by email. It was an endless collage of images representative of all the time he'd missed out on. And while half of him was overjoyed at being able to see this, the other half of him knew it was yet another reminder of all that his mother had robbed him of.

For moment the affectionate numbing of the wine could no longer help him.

"Otousan…?"

Sesshoumaru blinked several times as a wave of pain hit him. He shoved it back forcefully and shook his head before wiping a hand down his face. "I… I'm fine. But I think I need to go back to my room."

"Do you want me to take you?" Hiroto asked, his voice soft. Concern enveloped that voice and he wondered if Hiroto knew just how much he ached because he couldn't bear to go back home—because he was too stubborn to give in.

"I think I can manage," the inuyoukai replied as he stood slowly.

"Are you sure?" Rin asked.

He nodded as he lifted his hand from the table and forced his legs to move one step at a time. But something gave way entirely before he felt the ground jump up to meet half his body. The other half became cradled in arms that eventually wound around him like a vice. Rin was saying something… his name…?

Everything was black now.

But he knew she was crying. He could smell it even as he frowned for not be able to do anything about it.

* * *

Be careful, her grandfather had told her. Be safe, he'd said next before telling her he'd let her mother and Souta know where she'd gone. Kagome didn't know what he meant by safe and careful, but she thought he might have been talking about her heart—an organ that was beating a million miles a minute as the taxi drove her the long distance to wherever the hell Sesshoumaru was; and Rin.

The city passed her by, eventually turning concrete structures into trees along the road. Kagome's fingers twined together, folding and clasping; every so often she squeezed them as she took in a deep breath or bit her lower lip.

She hadn't bothered changing out of her shrine clothing. Not when she could feel that pain, the echo of agony; the closer they got the stronger it became.

"How much longer?" she found herself asking the cabbie as she leaned forward, the seatbelt tugging at her chest and hips.

"Say about… two or three miles."

She nodded and slumped back into her seat. Blue oculars went to window as she allowed her body to relax for a moment. Why did he stay away so long? Why? Didn't he know she hadn't wanted to push him? To force him back or seek him out? To give him time? _Why, you stupid idiot?_ she asked, _Why?_

Kagome hated the double edged sword; that's all it ever was since the moment she'd used the fude. No right decisions, no wrong ones. Each one offered her a path equally laden with thorns and brilliant light.

"Passed through some open gates," she heard the cabbie say.

"Good… I guess… Um, just keep following the road?" She hadn't gotten all the details from Rin, but she had to assume it would lead them somewhere. If not, she'd just try and remember the phone number so she could dial it on her cell.

Soon enough though, the road led right up to a rather large and overbearing home. Mansion, was more like. But Kagome didn't have time to stare; the second the cab stopped at the front a shadow flew out of the house and opened the door. Kagome unbuckled as she watched Rin pay the cabbie. She listened to her thank him profusely before shutting the door and turning to her.

Kagome let her take her hand. "I'd say hi, but I—."

"Where is he?" Kagome interrupted.

"Come on." She led her through the front door, the dark house, and up a series of stairs. Halls and more halls greeted Kagome, much of it a blur. She didn't care; her body and mind were on overdrive—every sense pushed to the edge and focused on Sesshoumaru the closer and closer she got to where he was.

And then a door was opened for Kagome. Rin released her, cutting through the silence for the first time. "We… we put him to bed. He collapsed earlier."

Kagome stared across the dimly lit room at the body laid out and covered by a too plush duvet and cushioned by an abundance of pillows. She could see a sheen of sweat reflecting off his forehead… his eyes fluttering behind closed lids.

"You know what happened… right?" Rin asked.

"…Yeah."

"You could have come sooner."

The miko swallowed. "He… he didn't want to see me. Not after…"

"After…?"

She shook her head and turned to look at Rin. The corners of her mouth curved, each side feeling weighted to express an emotion that did not quite wish to be present. "I'm happy to see you," Kagome told her. "Not the best circumstances, but I am." A pause. "Can… can I have some time alone with him?"

Rin nodded and Kagome could tell the action was reluctant. Sesshoumaru hadn't told her everything, Kagome guessed, or not much at all.

"It'll take all night, I imagine," Rin told her. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Thanks for calling me," Kagome got out quickly.

"Just help him get better… please," the miko heard her say before the door clicked shut.

Rin wasn't upset with her; Kagome didn't think so… not that she would blame her. Cautiously, she turned around in the room. Her gaze once against settled on the bed. Her stillness was momentary before she placed one foot in front of the other and crossed the distance.

Fingertips brushed the mattress as her hip and thigh moved to lean against it. His lips were parted; they did not close even when his jaw flexed ever so slightly. Strands of silver stuck to his forehead. Slick moisture separated clusters of lashes. His chest did not heave.

Parts of him were pulled taunt like a too tight string; others gave, unable to continue fighting. At the same time, the bedclothes swallowed him—embraced him in a way she envied.

Minutes ticked on where she stared at him before eventually sitting on the end of the bed. Some time after that she found the courage to push hair from his brow, to draw it away from where it stuck on his cheeks. She counted her breaths as she watched him, counted his as she unconsciously made hers sync with own and wondered all the while what was going on in his head. Were there nightmares? Or was it all pain; pain so overpowering that images—dream-laden terrors—were a fog of nothing?

Kagome sighed, her eyes shut, and her hand moved to lie on his chest.

Compared to this, her jumps back in time seemed so simple. It was almost always clear who the bad guy was, what the end goal was, and what needed to be done for a happy ending. Well… until that ending had been near. Then Kagome hadn't been certain until she'd made her wish of the jewel.

But this… this felt so… washed in grey.

She felt the like villain looking at him like this. Rin's words writ through her; Kagome felt it as an accusation because she blamed herself. She should have come the first moment she felt the faint pang of agony. She wanted to tell herself she hadn't know how great it was, but Kagome also reminded herself that she should have known better. Respect of one's unspoken wishes only went so far when their health was at stake.

Maybe his wasn't… but he didn't deserve this; he didn't deserve it even if he inflicted it upon himself… or because Kagome hadn't wanted him to kill his mother… had only been trying to do the right thing…

Hot moisture made a path down her cheek and she wiped it away, inhaling deeply.

"I'll make it right."

She stood them, pulling off her hakama and other garments: socks, her top, everything aside from the pj shorts and tank top she wore under it. After each item was carefully folded and set aside she walked around to the other side of the bed. The lamp she turned off after pulling back the covers. And then she slid in, drawing close to him. Kagome's leg fell over his two, her arms went across his waist. She didn't shut her eyes until she was comfortably settled next to him with her cheek on his shoulder.

"I'm here," she murmured, soaking in his body heat and giving some of her own. "I'm sorry," she whispered next.

This… this had to end, she told herself.

It _had_ to.

* * *

When Kagome woke next there was a sense of emptiness that came with it. Physically, she felt warm and wrapped; though, not in the embrace she'd wound herself in the night before. And when she opened her eyes it was to a very curious, however hesitant, set of amber ones.

He was leaning towards her as she lay on her side. One of his hands pressed into the mattress close, but not too close, to her; he was using it for leverage. White silk draped over his arm; the sheen of it blended with unbound strands that fell over his shoulder. His face was impassive, lips a relaxed flat line. But his eyes…

His brow was not knit, but she could see the skin wanted to crease—or had before she woke up.

"Morning," she murmured.

He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped. To Kagome that felt wholly un-Sesshoumaru-like. He never seemed to second guess himself, only acting when he was certain he should.

"I'm glad you're alright," she said next. "I… I'm sorry."

"For?"

The question surprised her more than the previous hesitance had; she could only assume he felt he needed to say something—anything.

She knew she should sit up, but hiding under the comfortable layers of cotton only made her want to burrow further. "For not… I dunno…" she sighed and shut her eyes. "I'm just sorry." A pause. "Are you upset with me?"

"For you coming here or for keeping me from killing my mother?"

"Both."

"No to the first," he said as he looked at her, as she met his gaze once she opened her eyes again. "…As for the second… I cannot blame you."

"But you do."

"No." He shook his head. "I blame my mother, for whatever little good that does."

"But you are upset."

"I am."

Kagome sighed again, this time actually giving into the desire to burrow further into the bedclothes. Though, it was at the moment she felt Sesshoumaru tug back, keeping her from doing so.

"Please stop hiding, Kagome."

She didn't want to pout, but her bottom lip took on a will of its own. This was especially true when one very persistent daiyoukai took a hold of her upper arms and tugged her towards him. Kagome couldn't help the tears that came, but was thankful that it wasn't any worse than a few sniffles. No broken facets for eyes.

"I'm really sorry," came her breathy whisper, half muffled against his chest. "I hate it when you hurt. I hate that _I _hurt you." Kagome inhaled deeply as his palm rubbed circles into her back. Her arms, wrapped about him, were loose. But her hands gripped onto the soft fabric of his robe.

"I know…"

Kagome chose not to say anything else. She closed her eyes, settled her tears, and let it all… be. Like last night, she focused on the rise and fall of his chest, the rhythmic beat of his heart, the slow inhale and exhale of breath that came from them both.

She was once again reminded of the silent vow she'd made to herself—of the conversation he'd had with Inuyasha, Rin, and her own inner debate before finally coming to a resolution.

"Sesshoumaru?"

"Yes?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Alright."

Kagome slowly pulled away from him. She placed her hands on his arms, thumbs creating a pattern of circles as she met his gaze. "A serious talk. About us—you. About…" She swallowed, but didn't look away. "About the mating."

He blinked once.

"I want to."

"Kagome…" he began, eyes narrowing.

She gently squeezed his arms as she bit her lower lip. "I've thought about this long and hard," she began. "It's not fair to you to keep going on like this. It's also not fair to force you into being with me. The choice you have isn't really a choice."

She watched as his mouth closed and his brow wrinkled. This time when he opened his mouth to speak she held two fingers over his lips. "Just… please let me finish…" Only when he nodded did she drop her hand and go on.

"When I talked to Inuyasha while you were gone I asked about the divorce again. I… I seriously considered going through with it. You know, the mating contract and then breaking it off behind your back. I didn't—I still don't—think you'll want me to take that kind of risk. And I get it. I understand why you'd be worried." She took in a deep breath. "I even traveled to the spirit realm to talk to Sango about it…

"But… I realized I _don't want_ to be that person. I'm not… I'm not going to lie to you." She took his hands her own and looked down at them, watched as her fingers wound between his and locked gently. "I want to give your freedom, but not at the price your mother dictated. I will mate with you and then I will go through whatever needs to be done to break the contract."

She looked at him again, not at all surprised to see a mixture of fear, confusion, and surprise. "You can tell me no if you want to. I can't force you to agree to mate with me. But this is what I want—for you. And I'm not going to lie to you to give that to you.

"I just… I need you to let me. Please."

Kagome wasn't certain what she expected after her speech. But, the silent click of the door behind him after he left was not it. She considered being sad; she was… a little. But, she guessed it was better than him… maybe yelling or something.

"He just needs time… maybe…"

_Maybe_.

* * *

**AN :: **Yeah for late updates! WEEEEEE~! Or not, ya know.

Nothing much to say about this chapter. It's shorter than most of the other ones, but I don't think you guys probably mind too much. Anyway, let me know what you think and stuff. Or not. Reviews are appreciated but never required. Yar~.

—**Blade**


	13. Chapter Thirteen

.

.

.

.

The Taming of the Stubborn Inuyoukai

* * *

_It's been one week since you looked at me_

_Threw your arms in the air_

_and said "You're crazy"_

_Five days since you tackled me_

_I've still got the rug burns on both my knees_

_It's been three days since the afternoon_

_You realized it's not my fault_

_not a moment too soon_

_Yesterday you'd forgiven me_

_And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry._

—_One Week - Barenaked Ladies_

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen**|Introspection &amp; Confrontation

Moments after Sessourmaru left it occurred to Kagome that he'd been in pain for a full day prior, and some of the night before that. It made her chest coil in immediate fear and she shot up out of bed, not even bothering to worry about changing out of her pajamas. It's not like she had anything else to wear anyway. And she couldn't risk him running off now—not again. She couldn't see him like again, no matter how upset he was with her request.

What she hadn't expected when she'd opened the door to go look for him was the find him standing just a few feet away from it. Kagome started and hesitated, narrowed eyes focused on his robed body.

He sighed, frowning.

"Sesshoumaru?" she hedged softly, curiously.

He crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes. "It might be best if we return to the shrine."

"Um... if you want..." She really didn't know what else to say. She'd fully expected him to be gone, to retreat again. She'd half imagined that she'd have to call him back and had not at all been looking forward to such a prospect. "Are you..."

He held up a hand. "I don't want to talk about that right now. I... can't just yet. But, more importantly—right now, I can't stay here any longer."

"Why?" Not that she didn't want to return home, but she was curious.

"Hiroto just came down the hall—Rin's husband. He informs me that my mother is returning shortly. I do not want to be in residence when she returns. I cannot be certain that you will not have to restrain me." He paused. "Regardless of what I feel for her... it would not make anything better to give into that desire. I understand that now, given all the clarity I've obtained in the last twenty-four hours."

Kagome blinked at that. She wasn't sure what it all meant, but it sounded to her like he wouldn't blame her if she did stop him from trying to hurt his mother again. Kagome didn't know if she wanted to try and stop him a second time. "I'm not sure I'd be able to. Stop you, that is." Her hand came up and she rubbed her arm. "...If I'd _want_ to," she muttered.

Just barely, she saw the corner of Sesshoumaru's mouth curl. It was promising, but she didn't comment on it.

"I'll say my goodbyes to Rin. Will you join me?"

Kagome nodded. "But I don't have anything to change into." She indicated to her pajamas.

He waved at his robe as well, retying the knot in the front. No, he wasn't dressed any better that she was. "It will be alright." And then he turned down the hallway, fully expecting her follow. Kagome did, wondering briefly if the distance she now felt between them was caused by her request—if it was somehow worse than the previous one she'd created when she'd stopped him Friday night.

Rin hadn't wanted them to leave, Kagome could tell. She hadn't tried stopping Sesshoumaru, but Kagome could see the sadness in her eyes. Instead she'd told him that she'd stop by for a visit with the kids and let him know when his mother was back in the city again—hoping he'd return. They'd all hugged, said their farewells, and both Kagome and Sesshoumaru had gotten into a cab. All the while, in the back, she'd felt the gulf between them—the separation that encompassed less than two feet in the back of the car. The physical space between them was only a small representation of the emotional one.

Kagome didn't know what to do—again. Didn't know what was worse. And yet... she didn't regret not lying to him. He hadn't said yes... but...

...he hadn't said no.

Not yet.

* * *

This was worse.

It had been over a full week, a whole eight and a half days since they'd done more than be cordial with one another—passing politeness. Kagome hated it. Every moment. Sesshoumaru's grandchildren were supposed to be in town in three more days and Kagome didn't know how she was going to handle being the smiling personification of joy when she was all but shattering inside. She'd tried once more to approach him about the topic—about the mating and the divorce. But he'd brushed her off again—told her he needed more time. He didn't want to talk about it yet. Which... might have been fine if they weren't sleeping together in the same bed while hardly touching. Sex was distant memory.

Alright, so maybe she hadn't exactly tried to change that, but she wasn't so sure if she should, if he was ok with her going back to how they'd been before. Not with all the things he had on his mind. And to be fair... there had been a few times that she'd purposefully brushed her hand against his just to test the waters. He hadn't really reacted aside from physically distancing himself further. If that wasn't a sign to keep herself at arms' length from him she didn't know what was.

She found herself pushing her body during practice, sometimes until she couldn't do more than shower, shove a bite in her mouth, and drop like a rock into her own bed after. It made sleeping easier when the person next to you barely seemed to do much more than feign politeness. No... that probably wasn't right. He wasn't faking it, but she knew it was a kind of mask to hide the hurt.

Kagome sighed over her desk, happy that he couldn't hear her thoughts while he slept on her body. She reviewed the same line again, words blurring for a moment. She'd reread the file seven times, she realized. Nothing was wrong with it and the day was coming to a close. At that moment nothing would make her happier than to go over the newest shipment of artifacts, ancient weapons, that had come in an hour ago. She'd just turn this into Himura and—.

"Higurashi."

Kagome blinked a few times, halfway out of her stool as Himura stood before her.

He was eying her with a raised brow. "I tried knocking a few times, but there was no answer."

"Oh, I'm sorry about that. The hall was noisy so I shut it." she didn't feel like explaining why she'd been distracted, much less than she had been at all.

He nodded and tapped the file in his hand.

"More paperwork?" she asked, voice almost tight.

"It's the one you handed off yesterday. I need you to look it over again."

"What's wrong with it this time, doctor?" Somehow she managed to keep the sigh out of her voice. _Here we go again._

"You'll know it when you see it." He held it out to her.

Kagome stared at it and tried to hold back her glare. She felt a pounding in her head—from Himura, from Sesshoumaru, from Sesshoumaru's mother, from... all of it. She was physically and emotionally exhausted and for the first time since she'd gotten the job? asking herself just what in the hell she was doing here. Was this crap, this... this vague and shadowed and borderline bullying from her boss worth it? Was this _job_ worth it? Kami, she was a top student. She'd graduated highest in her class with her masters. She'd only taken the job here because it was so close to home. Yes, it was difficult to find a paying position in Japan, she hadn't lied to Sesshoumaru about that. But she'd been offered positions in America and England as well. She just hadn't considered them viable until now. She hadn't wanted to be away from home at the time. She still didn't, but Himura didn't know that—didn't need to.

Something in her snapped and her eyes shot to her boss as she stood. "Dr. Himura..." she began, "Do I look like an idiot to you?"

"I'm sorry, Ms. Higurashi?" His eyes narrowed curiously.

"I could have taken a job anywhere else. I had other offers for my paid internship," she began, voice strong and decisive. "I could be in London right now—America. Working with some of the best and brightest. Granted, I wouldn't be studying many Japanese artifacts... but, nonetheless, I wager I'd be getting more respect than I have been here—from you." She might have snapped that last part, but she didn't care. "I don't know what you're up to. I don't know if you just don't like me, want me to quit, or a combination of the two. Either way, it ends. Today." She slammed her hand down on the desk beside her, right on top of the file she'd been reviewing. "There is nothing wrong with any of the files I've looked over or written myself. The work is sound and well-written. Good enough for an archaeology journal, I'd wager. And I've read enough of them to know. Trust me.

"Now you can either quit bullying me with busy work and vague answers about what's exactly wrong with my assignments, or I can talk to the dean. We'll see what he has to say about your harassment."

"That won't be necessary," he told her without missing a beat.

"Oh?" she asked, arms crossing over her chest and the haunty air in full force. It wasn't something she'd really called on since she'd been a teenager yelling at Inuyasha.

Himura was smiling at her and for a moment Kagome was a little uncertain about what he had planned. She watched as he slid the folder under his arm and tucked his hands into his pockets. "I've been wondering when you'd finally say something."

"I'm... I'm sorry?" Kagome's brow knit as confusion swept through her—jarring her. "What does that mean? What are you talking about?"

"You're and excellent archaeologist, Higurashi—a researcher. More so than many of the people who've assisted me at the university in all my time here. Actually," he said, taking a second to think. He looked like it for a moment as he glanced upward briefly. "Probably more so anyone I've met in my career."

"I'm so confused right now," she muttered as she pinched the bridge of her nose and flopped back onto her stool. "You've been driving me _absolutely crazy_. If you liked my work then why in the hell—."

"Because you there are times when you seem overly concerned with how other people feel; more often at the expense of your own feelings. Don't get me wrong, it's good to worry about others. About how the thing you do might hurt them or make tasks harder for them. But... you do still need to consider yourself as well." He moved then to lean back against her high desk. "You've got amazing potential and talent, but you're going to meet some serious... excuse my language... assholes in this line of work—hell, any line of work you're in. And you've got to learn to take care of you too—even if it hurts someone else. Even if they don't want to hear what you have to say. Even if that person is, heaven forbid, your boss.

"So if I've been a prick it's because I want to see you succeed to the best of your ability. It's important you can stand up for yourself and confront others when you think they're wrong, or if you think it's important enough to say something. Even when they don't want to listen to you."

Kagome was watching him, one arm on the desk as she leaned into it. His words washed over her and she wasn't certain what to do with then. At all. But she could see what he'd been doing and she wasn't certain if she should be happy or pissed off; relieved or irritated. "So you're not really a jerk."

"No." He grinned. "Not at all."

"Ok then... I'm not sure I totally get the lesson... but I hear you."

He nodded. "Good. You done with that?" He motioned to the other folder with the one in his hand.

"Uh... yeah." She gave it to him mutely before brushing hair out of her eyes. "Does this mean I can take a look at the weapons shipment?"

"I would love that, yes. And if you could take some notes to leave in my inbox that would great as well."

"Alright then." She offered a weak smile. "Thanks, I think."

"Anytime."

* * *

When Kagome finally got home dinner had long been served and put away in the fridge, but she knew her mother had left something for both she and Sesshoumaru. Her grandfather was likely busy with heaven knew what; bills probably. It was that time of the month. And her mother had gone to bed early from the looks of it. Souta would be also be in bed, or close to falling asleep because he had school tomorrow. That had started back up for him last Monday, much to his displeasure.

Coming this late made the house feel... deserted.

She shuffled into the kitchen after taking off her shoes, sliding into some slippers, and setting her bag down in the living room. She went to fridge first and took out the two plates covered in foil. In a about fifteen minutes she had heated up each one in the microwave, set them on the table, poured a drink for herself and Sesshoumaru, and prodded the inuyoukai to come out. She knew he wasn't asleep now, and he'd likely only pretended to nap most of the day. But... at least her thoughts were hidden from him. At least she had that, for what it was worth.

"Dinner, Sesshoumaru," she said aloud softly.

A moment or two later and she felt the tattoo move along her abdomen, the sensation warm, before she felt it go away entirely. And then he was before her, dressed in the usual haori, montsuki kimono, and hakama; all of which were a muted shade of burgundy and deep blue.

"Let's eat," she told him as she took a seat and picked up her chopsticks. And just like that they ate in utter silence, the only noise the clip of their glasses on the table, or, the scrape of their utensils across their dishes.

Kagome was beginning to feel like a ragdoll: beaten and lacquered in dross. It wasn't enough to make her cry, but if this went on much longer between the two of them she was likely to find herself hiding a lot in the bathroom and wiping away at her eyes in the middle of the night.

Which was pitiful and awful all at once.

She supposed she should at least be grateful Himura wouldn't be breathing down her neck anymore. That was one good thing that had happened today. She tried to focus on how much easier and more enjoyable work at the university would be now; she tried not to think about the man sitting adjacent to her.

But that only brought her back _why_ Himura had been such a pain in the ass to her. Was she really a push over? It didn't make sense. She didn't remember being that way as a teen. Kami, she'd beaten sense into Inuyasha enough in the feudal era. Though... that had mostly been for stupid shit; Inuyasha being an idiot. Himura also hadn't exactly said she was a push over, just that she seemed to worry about people too much, and, that he thought she also had tendency to put her needs before others too often; to the point that she avoided bringing up things that might upset someone; to the point that she endured her own special kind of pain at someone else's expense.

Kagome thought about Inuyasha then; what she'd done with jewel—wishing for his happiness. It hadn't been the wrong thing to do, no, but it _was_ a blaring example of Kagome putting someone else before her. She also considered why she hadn't gone to England or America for her paid internship; she knew—family. She hadn't wanted to leave her mother, grandfather, and Souta behind. She didn't regret it, the not going, but some part of her had _really_ wanted to.

There were numerous other examples, but she didn't feel like reviewing them.

And she knew it wasn't wrong; none of the choices she'd made in order for other people to be happier had been the wrong ones. But some part of her _had_ suffered silently for them. She hadn't even talked about going abroad with her mother or grandfather, thinking it didn't matter since she'd already made her mind up about it.

Why hadn't she talked to them about it?

"Kagome?"

Her focus immediately went to Sesshoumaru. "Yes?" she asked, trying to keep the weariness out of her voice.

"Are you done eating? I'll take your plate."

She looked down at it. She'd eaten half of her meal, but couldn't remember eating a bite in the last ten minutes. "Uh... yeah. I'm done. Thank you," she said when he picked it up and left the dining room. She wasn't very hungry anyway.

"You are welcome."

It wasn't just her family, she realized—like a light going off. Kagome couldn't go on like this with Sesshoumaru; the not really talking while trying to play nice and walk on eggshells all at once. Himura was right; there was a limit to selflessness, especially if it made you ache so badly that you felt like you were falling apart from the inside out. She didn't want to wait a few more days to inevitably cry in the bathroom while he ignored the elephant in the room. Even if he didn't want to hear it.

"Sesshoumaru,"she called as she stood up, pivoting on her heel and striding into the kitchen. He was washing their dishes.

"Yes?"

"We need to talk."

He stopped, but didn't look at her. After a beat of a moment he went right back to it. "I told you I didn't want to yet."

"And I gave you time," she whispered gently with determination. "A few days, and then a few more days now. It's been over a week and you haven't had a thing to say about it." She paused. "I can't keep going on like this, waiting for you to yell at me... to... _anything_. I can't go on sharing the same space as you, the same air, and just barely keeping out of your way. I can't go on sleeping in the same bed and worrying about... about upsetting you if I touch you.

"I can't _not_ say anything. It hurts too much."

"Kagome... what do you want _me_ to say?"

"Something. Anything. At this point I'd rather you yell at me than..." Her breath caught and she swallowed it down, trying not to cry. "We were so close, you and I. I've never been that close with anyone—this close. And it's so crippling to stand inches away from you, to do nothing while it feels like miles, Sesshoumaru." She was looking at him now, imploring him with gaze something—anything.

"You want to initiate a mating contract with me and then break it. How is that supposed to make me feel?" He whispered back, voice low.

"I'm trying to help you," she argued back. "You didn't ask for this—any of it. What your mother did to you was awful. I'm just trying to make it right."

"By killing yourself?" He snapped, slapping the rag down in the now empty sink. He turned to look at her, seeming to almost tower over her. One hand was on his hip while to other held the edge of the counter.

"You don't know that'll happen!" she snapped back, cursing herself just as soon after for raising her voice at all.

"You're human."

"I am a miko and I am in the best physical shape of my life."

"Be that as it may, it doesn't guarantee your survival. It doesn't mean you'll make it through the procedure, Kagome. Youkai just as strong as myself have died during the process."

"But it's _my_ choice," she said in finality.

"And it's _my_ choice as to whether I choose to mate with you or not." She watched as he closed his eyes and turned back to the sink. Both of his hands were placed on the edge of the counter and he leaned into it, half hanging his head. She watched as his knuckles turned white from the strength of his grip.

Kagome was frustrated. She knew his frustration was just as bad as her own though; she could feel it. She took a moment to take a slow and deep breath in. Her eyes shut, and eventually she exhaled just as slowly. The world around her was silent, save for the running water in the sink and the faint sound of chirping insects just beyond a window that was cracked open. Idly, she noted that she'd have to close it before bed or the whole house would feel like an icebox in the morning.

Kagome opened her eyes and shoved these thoughts aside. She reached out for Sesshoumaru and placed a hand on his back. He tensed and she waited until he stood erect and turned to her. And the she was letting out a soft gasp as he pulled her into his arms, into an embrace that left not a slip of space between them. One hand wove in her hair at the back of her skull and the other wrapped around her middle. Sharp nails bit into skin.

"Do you love me?" she breathed across the fabric covering his shoulder.

"I do not know."

She nodded, eyes shut. "Well... I love you. And when you love someone... you do everything you can for them—everything you can to make their life better when it's in the shithole. And I not happy _owning_ you, Sesshoumaru. I'm not going to happy trapping you in a mating contract because it seems like the _only damn option_. I refuse to let it be the only option.

"I _refuse_.

"I don't want you hating me ten years from now—ever," she continued, "I know how I feel right now won't change; it'll only become stronger... and I just... I can't do that to you. I can't. But I won't watch you suffer anymore either—I can't age and die, knowing the next person might not give a damn." She pulled back to look him in the eyes. "Look at me," she whispered when he wouldn't open his eyes. "Please." Her hands moved up to cup his face as he lifted it. She watched as he exhaled, a single tear escaped one corner; it tugged at her that he was crying—trying not to. Because of her—this. "Let me help you—_please_."

"Kagome..."

"Let me do this," she urged, her forehead now pressing against his. She could feel her own tears coming now, but she didn't care. She let them come as she whispered the last, "I beg you, let me show you I love you enough to let you go, Sesshoumaru."

* * *

**AN :: **So... this update took a while longer than I imagined. Not gonna lie, I was a bit stuck after last chapter. I knew what was going to go down in this chapter—mostly. The dialogue just wasn't coming very well though. Plus, last semester drained me because I was writing an essay every week. I think I might have five or more chapters left in this puppy, but we'll see. I hope to have an update out sometime next month. Thanks for waiting.

Also, I want to tell you guys the same thing I told my Buffy readers: there might be times when an update takes a while—sometimes a few months. This is not an indication that I'm not going to finish a story. Any story. I hate unfinished stories more than I hate mpreg in yaoi fics. (No offense to those who like it; I have my reasons for _not_.) It's just sometimes my life gets busy; school can take up a lot of my time depending on the week—if there's a huge paper do or finals. Short of death or some life-altering sickness that prevents me from writing, I will write and I will finish my stories.

Thanks again.

—**Blade**


End file.
